Butterscotch Souls: The Morningstar Series: Book 4
Butterscotch Souls – Chapter 25

This past week has been a mix of emotions.

It started out really great. Tate was thrilled to start school and I was thrilled for him. Every day Epperly and I walked him to class together. It was so nice being with my little family in moments like this. Ziggy and Tate became the best of friends and I was also thrilled about that.

Robby and Belle are the best and kindest people I know. Ziggy is just like the both of them. I’m thankful that he has been helping Tate feel more comfortable.

Every morning Ziggy and one of his parents met us here and we all walked to school together. It was really nice for both kids. Ziggy was a quiet little guy and as far as I could tell Tate was his only friend. They needed each other.

After Tate and Ziggy were dropped off at their classroom I would drop Epperly at the kitchen or I would have to rush off. I felt a bit bad that I was always rushing off but honestly, I was always running late. It was mostly due to the arguments Epperly and I were having daily about her outfit choices.

As the BOC trainer, it did not look good when I was late. I’m sure my mate understands that as well which is partly why I get so frustrated with her.

Doesn’t she know how werewolves are with their mates? Why does she keep picking out things that show so much skin?

Especially when she isn’t marked yet.

All day long I would wonder what Epperly was doing. I was distracted and it was showing more and more. About two days into the week I had to come clean to the group of BOC members that I am currently training. I had to tell them about my situation so they could understand why I wasn’t completely there in the moment.

“If you met your mate why aren’t you marked?” Karla, a redheaded witch asked.

I sighed.

“My mate can’t mark me.” I said.

“Hmm, Epperly doesn’t seem to have any marks that I’ve noticed of brother.” Axton announced to the group.

I glared at him.

“Mind your own buisness Axton.” I said dangerously.

Axton chuckled.

“See, you’re a total grouch. Not marking your mate is affecting you.” He said.

Everyone knows that after a Werewolf meets their mate they need to mark them almost immediately. The longer the Werewolf waits, the more their psyche suffers. More powerful Werewolves have an easier time waiting, either that or they lose control faster.

Apparently, I was losing control more and more. It makes sense, considering I spent five years without my mate.

I rolled my eyes.

“I can manage. Now, get in formation.” I ordered.

Axton had a point though. Not marking Epperly was starting to affect me more and more. I thought that Kohen and I would be able to hold out longer but maybe that was wishful thinking.

After spending five years away from our mate, it’s a surprise that I didn’t mark her the moment I saw her in that gas station. Still though, I had to be patient. Epperly doesn’t know what being marked by me would mean. We would be connected on a whole different level. She would have to learn how to use magic and teleport.

On top of that I would have to teach her how to block me out. All of which doesn’t sound that bad, but I wasn’t sure if Epperly would feel that way. I don’t want her to have any regrets.

Over the rest of the week I tried to think about how to bring up the conversation of being marked. No time ever seemed like a good time. I need someone else to explain it to her. Honestly, I was too afraid to be alone with her. Kohen was so egar to mark her at this point that I didn’t trust myself.

I started to pull away from her. A bad move on my part but I didn’t want to mark her against her will. She’s only been here a week, I can’t go scaring her of this world.

So, I avoided being alone with her. Sometimes I couldn’t even look at her. Just catching sight of those purple and gold eyes, or those dimples set me off in ways I couldn’t control.

The more time I spent with her the less I wanted to control my urges. It’s f*****g hard. Epperly deserves better.

It didn’t help that every single night my mate tried to get in my pants.

At first I was able to touch her, help her get off in the very least. I just couldn’t let her touch me. I’d lose control for sure if I let her touch me back. Things would escalate and I didn’t want to f**k up again, not the way I did when we first met.

After two days though I couldn’t do it anymore. The scent of her arousal was too much for me. Kohen was growing more impatient and I was growing weaker with control.

So, by Friday night I was barely spending time with my mate, barely even looking at her. It was killing me but I didn’t know what else to do. I had to distract myself constantly so that I didn’t mark her.

I spent my days working, even after picking Tate and Epperly up and dropping them off at home, I had to go back to work. It wasn’t a complete lie anyways. This was a bit normal for me. I was holding several different training classes and I’m the one in charge of the BOC training.

So, I threw myself into the work. It was getting harder and harder to control my frustration though.

I have been working the BOC memebers to the bone, worse than I have ever done. Sometimes I was making them do drills or fight with me out of spite.

Spite for what? For who? I have no idea.

I had been going very rough on them but none of them dare say it to my face. I think that they understood to some degree what had changed my mood. At some point I would need to apologize to them though.

My evenings were spent with my little family. I would go home and cook the three of us dinner. Epperly would hover over me and it would make things worse. Just her normal scent was beginning to get hard to handle.

Thankfully Tate occupied most of our attention. He would talk all throughout dinner about how much he loves school. I spoke with his teacher as well and she says that he is very advanced. That made me proud.

Not only of my son but my mate as well. Even on the run and with little knowledge herself, Epperly taught Tate a lot.

After dinner Tate and I would go for a run. Seeing that my son’s wolf looks exactly like mine left Kohen and I filled with pride. Our pup is a spitting image of us. This must be how my dad felt.

Damn, it is a good feeling. Running with Tate is one of the best feelings. I often wished that Epperly could come with us. Sometimes I debated on asking her to ride on my back but now it is to the point where I do not trust Kohen to not mark her. He has more control in our wolf form.

So, I took the time to bond with Tate. Tate’s wolf is very smart. They are a very quick learner as well. We would track down animals and attack. It was helping Tate with his feeding frenzy as well.

Thank the Moon Goddess.

After our nightly runs Tate would be exhausted. I couldn’t blame him though. Eventually it won’t be as exhausting for him. I would read him a book every night and he would pass out almost immediately.

Then I would go to the bedroom I shared with my mate. Most of the time I would take very long, very cold showers. Every single night she tried to seduce me though.

It was obvious that she wanted me, I mean we are mates, that is part of the bond. But I would deny her every single night, leaving me feeling guilty and even more frustrated.

Now that it’s Friday I wasn’t sure what to do for the rest of the weekend. If Epperly gets me alone for more than five minutes I’m going to lose control. I’d just have to constantly be doing something. Tate and I can practice his magic. Maybe I can get Epperly to use hers too.

I had to stay back after Tate got out of class to have a meeting with Tia. When I got to her office it was just her. She told me to sit down and I orginally thought that this was going to be a quick update about how the BOC trainees are doing.

Apparently, I was wrong.

“Why haven’t you marked her yet?” My sister asked me before I could even fully sit down.

“That isn’t any of your business Tia.” I said.

“You sure? Cause your attitude is starting to affect everyone around you. The BOC trainees are beginning to fear you Ambrose.” She said.

“They should fear me. Isn’t that the point?” I asked.

“No. It’s not.” Tia said sternly with her arms crossed.

“That is not how you normally train. Your trainees usually love and respect you Ambrose, not fear you. Not marking your mate is taking its toll on you. Why haven’t you marked her?” She asked again.

I sighed and ran a hand down my face.

“I want to give her time. She has no idea what it means to be marked. Not really anyways.” I said.

“And have you tried to explain it to her?” She asked.

I shrugged.

“Not really but it’s hard to be around her right now.” I admitted.

“Because you need to mark her.” Tia stated.

“I know Tia. I know what I need to do but I am trying to do better then when I first met her. What if she gets freaked out and runs again? What if this isn’t what she wants when she realizes we will be connected like that?” I voiced my fears.

Tia sighed.

“I made a lot of mistakes with my own mate out of fear Ambrose. All of which could have been avoided if I was honest with him. Just talk to her. Maybe she will want this too.” Tia encouraged me.

I just nodded to her.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to do. At this point not marking Epperly was taking it’s toll on me just like everyone kept saying. My psyche is confused and I have no idea what I am going to do. I’m angry all the time and am having trouble controlling that anger. Tia is right but.. I just don’t know.

After that Tia let me go home to my mate and son. When I stepped through my front door Tate came running to me. I scooped him up in my arms and walked into the house. Epperly is in the kitchen scrambling around like a mad women. The smell of burnt food filled the air. I looked at Tate who shook his head at me making me laugh.

Apparently, my mate attempted to cook dinner for me. The idea warmed my heart, but unfortunately my mate has no idea what she is doing. I tried not to laugh at her when I comforted her. This is the first time in days that I’ve really touched her. I miss her.

When she turned around in my arms and asked me to just hold her I almost crumbled. With all my inner struggle I didn’t even realize how me avoiding Epperly would make her feel. Her body, heart, soul all craved me. I felt terrible for not doing something as simple as hugging her.

Kohen had started to huff in my head after a moment and I felt him try to surface. I fought him down and then spun Epperly back around. We managed to salvage dinner and all enjoyed the time together. Then Tate and I went on our nightly run.

When we got back the whole house was cleaned up. That was usually how it went. At first I thought that Epperly would love having some time alone, but now I was starting to wonder if she actually hated it. Sometimes it was hard to remember that she feels the bond too, she is affected by it too. Not to mention that she has been alone most of her life.

Guilt was eating at me.

Still, my mate placed a smile on her face every time she saw me. Epperly told me to go shower and have some relaxing time while she put Tate to bed. I took my time in the shower and when I came out I found my mate… on our bed… in my shirt… and absolutely reeking of my own scent.

I gulped as my eyes trailed across her body. Kohen started to fight me for control once again. Because of that I pracitcally ignored my sexy mate and walked away.

f**k, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

After I had slipped on a pair of boxers and came out of my closet, Epperly was sitting on the side of the bed crying. I tried to get her to talk to me but she only pushed me away. My heart broke.

Not only was it painful to see her upset like this but she won’t even let me comfort her. I definitely should not have told her she was throwing a fit because I wouldn’t f**k her. That only made things worse and I have no idea why I said it in the first place, no matter how angry I am.

Epperly changed out of my shirt and left me. She left me. Sure it was only to another room in this house but it felt like she was states away. All because she’s pissed off I won’t f**k her. As angry as I was I still followed her. Then I heard her lock the door. I waited on the other side while I listened to her sob.

Was me denying her really having that big of an affect on her?

I sat on the floor for a couple of hours waiting for her to fall asleep so that I could go in there. If she needed some space than she could have it, but we will be sleeping together.

After some time I heard her heartbeat steady. I decided to wait for a little while before going in. But then she started screaming for me. Panic shot through me and I crashed through the door knocking it to the floor.

Epperly was screaming and thrashing around on the bed. It took me a few minutes to get her to wake up but she finally did. When she pushed me away and told me not to touch her my heart broke.

Was I really f*****g up so bad that she would rather have these nightmares than be with me? Kohen whined in my head and finally he agreed to behave if I held her.

My mate wasn’t thrilled about me scooping her into my arms but I didn’t care. I held her until she stopped sobbing. Then she told me she hated me. Not even when she wasn’t with me did I feel this bad.

I picked her up and took her back to our room. Epperly admitted that she didn’t really hate me right before she fell asleep. She fell asleep almost instantly too.

Now I was laying awake and playing with her hair. Tomorrow I would be better. A better mate for the women who deserves it. I would make up for how I acted this week.

Epperly will feel nothing but love and safety for the rest of her life.

*********************************************

I woke up the next morning to Tate poking my face. Without waking my mate I got out of bed and went with Tate to the kitchen. After getting my son a b***d bag I started cooking a big breakfast.

Just when it was almost done Epperly came out of the hallway. She is fully dressed in a pair of light colored skinny jeans and a bright pink T-shirt that looks stunning against her skin tone.

“Good morning baby.” I said to her.

“Morning.” She replied softly without looking at me.

Epperly walked to the entry way and started putting her shoes on making me frown.

“Where are you going? It’s Saturday.” I asked her.

“To the archives. I want to read some more.” She answered as she tied the last shoe.

“I was kind of hoping to spend some time with you today.” I told her.

Thankfully Tate was consumed with the cartoons on the TV that he wasn’t paying attention to us.

Epperly finally looked up at me, and she looks pissed.

“Yeah? I wanted to spend time with you all week but you couldn’t do that for me. So, I’m going to go. IF I have time later, maybe we can hang out or whatever it is you want to do.” She said with the most sass I have seen from her.

I stared at her unsure of what to say. Epperly rolled her eyes and walked over to our son on the couch. She kissed his head and he wiped it away.

“I’m going to be gone for a little bit butterscotch, behave for your dad.” She said.

“Okay Mommy.” Tate replied.

“Love you baby.” She said with a sweet smile.

Those dimples.

Epperly turned around and headed for the door.

“No k**s goodbye for me?” I asked hopeful.

Epperly gave me an icy look.

“For what? So you can push me away some more? No thanks.” She said and then walked out the door.

Now you did it. Kohen said to me.

Shut up. I grumbled.

Now I was in a sour mood. I really f****d up and have no one to blame but myself but still. She could have given me a f*****g k**s on the cheek.

After breakfast I was still fuming. I had to send Tate away to play so that he didn’t pick up on my mood. Epperly has been gone for a few hours now.

What could she possibly be reading about? What could have her attention that much that she would rather be there than with us?

About three hours and another meal later there was a knock to my door. Ziggy and Robby were on the other side. Robby gave me a sheepish look as Ziggy barrelled into my house.

“I tried to call you but you weren’t answering.” He told me.

s**t. My phone. I rushed back to my bedroom where I left my phone.

Maybe someone texted me or called me about Epperly. I need to get her a phone. Looking at my phone the only missed calls I have are from Robby.

I sighed and trudged back to the main area.

I went straight to the kitchen and grabbed some liquor from the cupboard and poured myself a drink. Robby joined me in the kitchen. He raised a brow at me as I downed the whole glass and then poured more.

“Uhhhh, everything alright with you Ambrose?” Robby asked.

“Just f*****g peachy.” I replied.

Robby chuckled.

“Ya know, Lydia and Kasyn said something about gathering up all the kids tonight to give the parents some free time. How about a guys night?” He asked and then wiggled his eyebrows.

“That sounds f*****g great.” I said.

*********************************************

Two hours later Robby and I were dropping off our kids at the Morningstar mansion. My parents gladly took the children and Tate was excited to have his very first sleep over. I only hoped this was okay with Epperly.

“I just hope his mom doesn’t freak out.” I told Robby as we walked away and headed around the side of the house to Tia and Max’s place.

Robby looked at his phone and then at me.

“Well, Belle just texted me and said that Epperly is fine with it. They’re going to have a girls night.” He told me.

“Belle is with Epperly?” I asked.

Robby nodded.

“Yeah, Belle actually spends a lot of time with her in the archives. I think she feels bad for her.” He said.

“Why would Belle feel bad for her?” I asked.

Robby shrugged.

“Epperly seems off doesn’t she? I mean I know that we don’t know her that well but I think that it’s pretty obvious she’s been depressed. Belle says that she forgets to eat a lot and even when she brings Epperly food, Epperly barely eats. Plus Epperly is all alone all day down there.. That’s gotta be rough.” He said.

“Hey I’m sorry man..” Robby said once he saw my face. “I thought you knew..” He admitted.

“It’s fine. It’s my fault. I’ve been avoiding her.” I said.

“Why would you do that after all the time it took you to find her?” Robby asked me.

I blew out a breath as we walked into the apartment.

“I don’t want to mark her yet but it’s getting hard so I just…” I trailed off.

Robby laughed at me.

“You’re a f*****g i***t man.” He said and I frowned.

“Who’s an i***t?” Max asked as we walked through to the kitchen table.

Max and Bou were seated at the table with cards playing a game. Robby took a seat next to Bou, and I sat across from them next to Max. Bou greeted me and told me that there are snacks on the island.

“So, why are you an i***t?” Max asked me.

Robby laughed and I glared at him.

“I haven’t marked Epperly yet.” I admitted.

“Ha!” Bou laughed. “Is it taking it out of you yet? Acaisia made me wait for f*****g ever but not over five years.” He said proudly.

I rolled my eyes at him. Bou never failed to remind everyone that Acaisia marked him. Because the very large marks on the both of them isn’t enough I guess.

“It’s definitely taking it’s toll on me. Epperly is pissed off. She spends all day in that stupid basement reading about her race and she’s so pissed at me that she went right back to it rather than stay home with me today.” I grumbled.

“Reading about her race?” Robby asked.

I nodded.

“Epperly is a Djin you guys know that. She’s down there trying to figure out more about herself.” I said.

Robby shook his head and chuckled.

“That is definitely not what it seems like she is doing.” He said.

I frowned.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Robby shrugged.

“Everytime Belle or I go down there she’s reading about Werewolves, Vampires, witches, even Demons, but never have I seen her read about Djins.” He said.

I frowned harder.

“Maybe we don’t have any books on them?” I asked.

Max shrugged. “Maybe. But it seems interesting that she is reading about every race that you are.” He commented.

I thought about that for a moment.

“Well, maybe she wants to know what to expect for Tate.” I offered.

Robby shrugged again.

“Maybe. Maybe she wants to get closer to her mate.” He suggested.

I thought about what they had said.

Is Epperly really reading for my benefit? Why would she do that? I could just tell her anything she wanted to know.

“F**k.” I said. “I have no idea what the f**k to do.” I admitted. “Having a mate is confusing.”

“Well, why don’t you tell us what’s going on? Goddess knows that we have all been through it with our mates.” Max said with an eye roll.

Over the next several minutes I told them everything that happened between Epperly and I this week. There wasn’t much to tell though. The guys asked questions here and there.

Half way through Ares and Azai joined. We had to catch them up about my situation, much to my irritation.

“Whoa, whoa, lemme get this straight.” Bou said with a laugh.

“You’ve been avoiding marking her because you want her to know what that entails…. but you never told her what it entails? And she is just supposed to know not to wear certain clothes or do certian things? AND you’ve been telling her no to s*x? AND ignoring her on top of it?” He asked incredulously.

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m sure she knows how f*****g hard it is to deny her.” I defended myself.

“Does she?” Max asked.

“What?” I asked as I looked at him.

“You said that she doesn’t know a lot about this world, or any world, but that she has been trying to jump your bones every night. You sure she knows what not marking her is doing to you?” He asked. “Sounds to me like she’s confused on why her mate doesn’t want her.” Max concluded.

I had to think about it for a moment. The realization hit me like a f*****g train. Oh no. Oh no no no no no no.

“F**k.” I whispered.

“And I thought my mates were bad.” Azai chuckled.

“What the f**k was I thinking?” I asked no one in particular.

“You weren’t.” Ares stated in a bored tone.

“She probably thinks I f*****g hate her.” I said.

“Explains why she’s been so sad lately.” Robby mumbled.

“I have to fix this.” I said.

“Yeah you f*****g do.” Bou said. “Just f**k her, I’m sure that’ll fix everything.” He said.

We all turned to him.

“What?” Bou asked innocently.

I just shook my head at him.

“How could I have been so stupid?” I said angrily.

“Not marking her after all this time had your brain clouded.” Ares answered.

I turned to my little brother and gave him a bored look.

“Thanks for your help bro.” I said sarcastically.

Ares only shrugged at me, completely unbothered.

“I can’t f*****g wait until you meet your mate.” I said to him.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Max asked.

I shook my head.

“I have no idea.” I said.

“Well, I suggest you just mark her.” Bou said.

“Bou.” Max scolded him.

“What?” He asked Max and then looked at me.

“Look, coming from someone who’s mate made them wait… just do it. Epperly doesn’t seem like the type that needs a lot. From what we have gathered, you’ve already given her a life she always dreamed of, just mark her. You’re overthinking how she will react after she’s marked, don’t. It’s not like you would ever let her go anyways.” He said.

“I agree with Bou. You won’t let Epperly leave, so what does it matter if she knows what comes with the marks?” Ares chimed in.

I rolled my eyes at my little brother.

“No, they have a point.” Robby agreed with him. “Even if she is angry, which I doubt she would be, she’ll get over it. You’re her mate, this was going to happen anyways, and she clearly wants you.” He said.

I thought about what they said. s**t, maybe they all had a point. Epperly would get over it and I could definitely help her get over it. Plus we can have another baby and that is something I know she wants. And Ares was right, I will never let Epperly go. She belongs here with me, her and Tate.

“So,” Max said. “What are you gonna do?”