Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 206

"Oh god...." I was murmuring it into the firm chest when someone banged at my door. I wanted to ignore it, closing my eyes harder and holding onto Jonah when he hadn't heard it, he wasn't f*****g used to having kids screaming every hour like me when I did a curse, getting up naked from the tall guy still in my bed, turning like he could sense I was gone to my smile, I loved him so much, and here he was, with me and not anyone else, me.

"Hold the f**k up!" I snatched Jonah's sweater from the chair on my way out since my clothes were... somewhere... I didn't really remember where they had been taken off, but I knew that he had f****d me in the kitchen once and then again twice inside the bedroom where we had crashed. "Joseph!?" I was staring at him, not knowing how to feel about seeing him in the hallway, looking sorry and nervous simultaneously, like he had been pacing back and forth before even working up the courage to knock on my door.

"Hey.... I'm sorry... I'm so f*****g sorry for what happened and...." He stopped when I frowned at that. Sorry? He was f*****g sorry that he had booked the same restaurant that had Austin f*****g Evans as its owner, and he knew our history!? Was he insane!? "Where the f**k have you been?!" I was leaning on the doorway, my hurt foot just gracing the floor, when he looked down like he was still feeling guilty about me getting hurt, making me sigh, he was nervous, and it wasn't that hard to read on him. Unlike the naked guy still sleeping in my bed, he wasn't a great liar.

"Andrea.... I...." He stopped, looking behind me, his babyface just dropping from Jonah's hard stare coming at me, and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back to my own disbelief when Joseph's eyes were big and scared, seeing Jonah naked and pulling him inside, closing the door without so much as a word with that hard scowl on his handsome face, showing just how much he was in deep shit right now.

"Andrea, get inside the bedroom and close the fucking door." I was still trying to figure out what was going on when Joseph didn't speak back, still terrified, staring at Jonah like he knew begging wouldn't help. He just wanted to get whatever was going to happen over with.

"What!? No! I am not getting inside the fucking bedroom, so you can beat the shit out of Joseph!" I was pushing myself between them to Jonah's disapproval. Joseph looked like he was trying not to faint from the intense stare that Jonah hadn't let him go from, even with me wedge between them.

"Jonah, just fucking listen for once, you asshole. I didn't fucking know!" Joseph had found some of his courage when Jonah was still staring at him, completely unfazed he wasn't wearing anything, buck naked, and looking like he was going to kill Joseph; that was more or less hiding behind me; what the f**k was going on?!

"Sure you didn't... look at you hiding behind Andrea like the fucking pussy you always have been...." I know that he didn't speak to me. Still, the amount of spite and hate in Jonah's voice made me feel like I was the one he was gunning for, understanding why Joseph wasn't his biggest fan. He was a fucking dick against people when he wanted to be one and didn't even have a single regret about it.

Joseph was the one pushing me out of the way, still staring into the eyes of Jonah, that was so much taller and had an aggressive stance; being naked didn't help either, every single muscle flexing making me stare at him in awe for a few seconds before breaking it, shit! Focus, Andrea, fucking focus!

"Who says I'm fucking hiding?" Joseph took another step towards the naked man, still staring him right in the eye like he was sick or tired of getting called a pussy which was hilarious seeing that he was way braver than Jonah ever was, still bending his will to his mother even as a grown-up.

"Funny.... So, where is the f*****g taser? I hope you brought one because I'm going to f**k you up for risking Andrea's life, you f*****g bitch!" I was still on the side, not knowing if I should go between them, I mean, Jonah was the bigger one, no doubt, but if he wanted to attack Joseph, he would have done that by now. He wasn't the kind of guy that had patience mouthing off for long, at least not with me!

"Nobody has f****d up her life more than you!" Joseph's eyes narrowed, seeing Jonah's face twitch. No, he flinched like he always did when I said something that he knew was right; it was almost incredible seeing someone else having him do that. "You better fucking tell her everything that has happened and is going on; I am not going to keep my mouth shut for you any longer!" My heart made painful when Joseph was still spitting words, not realizing that I was looking at them, like they both had forgotten me in the heat of the moment, standing in my apartment.

"Tell me what?" I was looking at Jonah, feeling scared, biting my lips from the way his eyes switched over to mine and back to Joseph, that wasn't backing down. Shit, he really had balls when he wanted to. I should be fucking proud of him if it wasn't for the gnawing feeling in my chest that something was up, and I wasn't going to like whatever Jonah was keeping from me.

"Not now. I'm still not sure if I should break this fucker's neck for luring you in and almost getting snuffed out!" Jonah's fire was back when Joseph died down, just the slightest. Still, you could see his pure guilt over what had happened, and Jonah wasn't going to miss the chance to strike him right where it hurt the most.

"You almost had Andrea killed! If anything had happened to her, I would have f*****g come for you and that guy you are dating!" Jonah's smirk was all over his face when Joseph was devastated, and I know it wasn't over the fact that Jonah had threatened to kill him. No, it was the other part, the one that he fought so hard to protect from other people.

"Jonah, don't...." I was reaching out, having my hand on his arm when he didn't care, shaking me off, lashing out when Joseph still hadn't said a word back; in that part, he was ruthless, even to the people he loved and cared about, he had no mercy when you pissed him off.

"No, let's just tell the fucking truth since that's what he wants! I know you are fucking guys, always have been, and thinking you are so smart! Like, I didn't know that you were fucking in love with me the first year we hung out. What!? You don't think I can't spot someone checking me out?! I'm not f*****g blind, a*****e! that's why you were so upset when I met Andrea since I f*****g loved her and never you!" Jonah was still naked, and he had the whole room, being the main force and the rest of us, just listening to the angry rant that had made me feel even worse for Joseph. He couldn't lie, and I knew the second Jonah was done that every word was true, and the funny part was, I didn't blame him for loving Jonah. I really didn't.

Joseph looked up, suddenly more determined, like he didn't have anything else to lose since his secret was out. He was done hiding whatever he had been feeling all this time.

"Yes, that's right.... I was angry over you falling for some stupid fat older woman, but now .... I just feel sorry for her...." I made a hurt sound hearing that when Joseph's eyes shifted to me, I didn't care if he called me fat, stupid or older, but I sure as hell didn't want f*****g pity for being with Jonah; we had something people didn't understand, and I didn't care that it wasn't picture perfect, he loved me, and that was all I needed.

"I'm sorry, Andrea, babe, you know I love you and... but this... you two... that is just... doomed..." Joseph sighed like he didn't want to tell me when I was trying not to start crying seeing my friend like this, upset over something that was his biggest secret. Now he was telling me that he wasn't supporting Jonah and me; that was fucking hurtful!

"Don't you fucking talk to her like that! This is between you and me, and you are going to fucking wish you never walked over with your fucking tail between your legs, traitor!" Jonah grabbed him, and I couldn't do shit when he punched Joseph's face, making me shriek with my hands over my mouth, leaning over when Jonah looked back surprised. I was still screaming, not knowing what to do! James's face appeared before me when he was taking his last breaths. He didn't even get to say something, no romantic f*****g last words or longing gaze, just pure death when he was staring up into the blue sky with his dead eyes!

"Andrea! Hey, baby take it easy, take it fucking easy... it was just one punch, that's all ... see? Look! he is okay and being a fucking asshole like always, right Joey?!" Jonah talked to me softly when I was freaking out, still wailing over the strong memory of seeing James's death before me. I was never going to get over that! Never!

"Yes... yes.... Andrea, babe, look at me.... Still f*****g handsome as ever...." Joseph smiled when I was shaking my head, not wanting to look, feeling the hard arms around me, pulling me back from the nightmare inside my head. I was so scared that something would happen like that again. I never wanted to see another person I loved die again, never!

"I want Buck!" I didn't know that I had said it before it was out there, making Jonah tense up and Joseph finally looking like he knew that before I even had said it, that cunning a*****e!

"Okay.... So... I can't get Buck, I can't.... I'm sorry... Andrea..." Jonah, still holding me close, felt safe; I did, but he didn't understand it, unlike Buck. Jonah never showed me he was sorry for killing Chris, not even when he was talking about killing Austin's kids; he didn't even bat an eye, and that was still scary, no matter what!

"Here, just fucking call him, you son of a bitch!" Joseph was pushing his phone up when Jonah didn't want it. I was still crying, wanting to stop but couldn't, the hard sobs tearing through my body when it felt like every muscle I had was getting tenser by the second, like I couldn't fucking breathe anymore!

"I don't need your fucking phone; move it away from my face, you fucker!" Jonah tossed the phone back hard at Joseph's scowling when I felt him reach out and take out his own one, and to my surprise, he was calling someone. I made another whimper seeing that man on the screen that looked like he was so f*****g annoyed for a second before seeing my face.

"Bucky!" I was reaching out for the phone still in Jonah's hands, giving it to me when he didn't want to. Still, I didn't care seeing Buck look worried over what was happening, and he couldn't do shit about it being so far away.

"Andy, what is happening? Are you okay!?" He walked away from the sounds of children screaming, making me cry even more. My babies! I f*****g missed them so much, and right now, I wanted them back with me more than ever!

"No! I'm not fucking okay! He is dead, you hear me, Buck!? James is fucking dead, and he is never coming back!" I didn't give a shit that both guys that were staring at me, looking sad and angry at the same time, heard me, it was the truth, and I didn't want to hide anything. I wanted him back, and nothing could change that! Not him being this supposed evil man that everyone else kept telling me he was, he wasn't to me, he was my best friend, and I loved him!

"Alright.... Yeah, I know, darling, I know... take a deep breath, in and out... it's not going to get any better if you don't do that...." Buck was sounding so f*****g calm, nothing like me, that was panicking over a fucking punch to the face! I know I was acting insane, and I still couldn't stop it!

"Are you breathing for me, Andy?" I was making a slight nod, taking deep breaths in and out, just trying not to pass out from the intense ache in my chest, killing me like I was the one that had been shot! Jonah didn't like this, being quiet for once when Joseph was fixing his glasses, cursing at Jonah for being a f*****g a*****e and messing up his expensive shit.

"Good, look at you like a doing that like champion... shit, you are doing great...." Buck made a slight chuckle when I looked back at the screen, having my head down when he had a grin on his face, making me answer him the slightest. Still, he didn't care when I was so f*****g tired, almost falling back down on my a*s, or I would have if Jonah hadn't caught me, holding me close when Buck's grin disappeared like he had remembered this wasn't my phone that I had called him on.

"Andy, you want me to come and get you? I can take the kids and come right now; you know it's no problem." Buck was serious when I was shaking my head, not that I didn't want my kids back, but that wasn't fair. He had them, and it was long overdue, and I knew he just wanted to take me back to the house and never let me go again, no matter what he told me.

"you're not taking my girlfriend anywhere, and I want my daughter back on the fucking dot next Sunday, you understand, Buck?" Jonah was the one to answer when I was wiping my nose, snot all over my face, and looking hysterical in the small feed that was making Buck even more worried, and I knew it.

"Girlfriend?!" Buck wasn't happy when Jonah smirked the slightest, and I could see it. He loved this, rubbing it in Buck's face that we were back together, that a*****e... I wonder if he would feel so f*****g good when I was going to do it to Shailene, and they were still married.

"Yes, Buck... we just got back together, and I'm sorry for telling you like this...." I was about to say more when he hung up, and I felt so bad; this wasn't how I wanted him to know! He still loved me, and now he was hurting on the other side, only having the kids drive him more insane than he already was feeling right now.

"Asshole!" I was sneering at Jonah, that still was f*****g naked; at least I had his shirt on. What? Was he too fucking confident to put on some damn pants!?

"What?! I'm supposed to just fucking stand here and listen to him calling you darling and wanting to take you back to that fucking redneck town!? No way! You are my girl and always have been, Andrea!" Jonah was scowling, looking like he wanted to punch someone again, even eyeing Joseph; that made a sigh, rolling his eyes like he was expecting that from him.

"What about Shailene, huh?! What the fuck are you going to call me then?! Am I still your girl when she calls and asks?! are you going to tell her that you are here with me, fucked me all night and half the morning?!" I was sick of his jealousy, he was jealous of James, of Buck, of any f*****g man that ever laid his eyes on me, and still, he was the one that had a f*****g wife!

Jonah didn't say a word, not a damn word, just cleaning his jaw and looking like he couldn't answer that, the f*****g a*****e! Did he think that I was going to be his side-bitch when he f*****g worked things out with her!? No! No! that was not happening. I was not so fucking stupid that I would fall for that again. The last time he told me to wait, he got fucking married!

"You call her right now, tell her that you want a divorce, or we are fucking over!" I was screaming it all over the building, not caring who heard me, and if they called the cops on me, it wouldn't be the first time!

I was still panting from screaming when he didn't move, not a fucking muscle, still looking like he rather get shot than take up his damn phone and do what he needed to have a clean slate with me. I meant it when I said that I didn't care about him being married, but that didn't give him a free pass to keep up this f*****g charade that he had done when Kira was born!

I was still staring at him, my eyes trapped on the strong resentment he was feeling. He probably hated me when I made him do this, take a fucking stand, and not be a coward like he always was when it came to feelings.

"Okay, Jonah... just get out and take him with you...." I made another heavy inhale, feeling myself sinking again. He wasn't going to do it; he was standing there still naked, trying to think of a way to escape this situation like I couldn't see it on him for a mile ahead. He didn't want to tell her.

"Coward..." I was hissing it when Joseph got up like the show was over that he had been watching, and I swear he was feeling sorry for me. They all were going to feel f*****g sorry for poor Andrea Wilson; that got her hopes up that the younger, hotter guy wanted her and got rejected.

I was taking off his shirt, throwing it back at his chest, not caring that I was naked. Joseph made a smirk when I flipped him off when he left, taking the chance to get away before Jonah was going to remember he was pissed at him and take out more of that darkness that was fueled by the anger he was feeling right now over me being a bitch and putting an ultimatum on his a*s.

I was getting back to the bedroom, sick of seeing Jonah's face when he couldn't even do that, call her and tell her that he didn't want her anymore; how the f**k did I ever think he was able to go against his own mother when he couldn't even tell his wife that he was arranged to marry that he wanted out.

"Joni? Oh, thank God! I called everyone, and nobody knows where you have been. Are you okay, baby?" my stomach dropped hearing an accent; it was sweet, just like she seemed when I turned around, seeing Jonah holding his phone, looking like he wanted to puke while the girl on the screen was getting more worried for every second that he didn't answer her.

"No.... no, I'm fine, love, don't worry, you always do...." I gasped hearing him speaking to her; it was sweet and caring. He sounded like a different person, a stranger, and not my Jonah, that was so fucking cruel against me and still could make me feel more loved than anyone else.

"Well, somebody must.... When you get home, I made your favorites, American pancakes, with blueberries." I had no idea how to describe the hurt in my body when he made a smile hearing that, one of his real ones that could melt the fucking polar ice when he did, like that was the greatest thing he had heard all morning. I felt like I was nothing again, naked and nothing.

"I can't come home, not anymore.... Shay... you know I told you about Andrea... she is the mother of my child and..." he stopped like she was already getting it like they had this fight so many times. I hated that it was making me so f*****g happy hearing that he had thought about me, talked about me, and fought over me with her, no matter how awful it seemed.

"Are you telling me that you are going back to that whore!? Is that what you are saying to my face, Jonah Sullivan!?" I was still standing naked and honestly angry, his wife had called me a whore, so it was okay when she did, but I couldn't?!

"Don't call her that, she is not a whore, and I love her! you know that, so why are you acting like this is a surprise!?" I sat down on my small sofa, smiling hearing that, well at least he wasn't being unfair on that part... how f*****g nice... I was exhausted and still staring at him, trying to convince Shailene in the nicest way he could that he was serious. He didn't even curse at her; it was making me jealous no matter how stupid it was like she got the best fucking version of him and nothing else...

"Love her!? I'm your wife, under God, Jonah, and we will not get a divorce! There is no way that I would ever agree to that!" Shailene was getting more upset, and if I wanted to, I could say something, be a dick like Jonah, but to be honest, he was on his fucking own in this. She was his wife and problem; I just wanted him to get rid of her so we could be together, no more sneaking around, no, really be a couple, no matter what anybody said.

"Shay, we are getting divorced, and that's it." Jonah was using his darker voice when I was making a smirk, fuck yeah, he was, or he and I were over, and he knew that.

"No! It is about us not being able to have children... We can fix that, I don't know how but there has to be a better way, Joni, please, I love you...." my smirk disappeared hearing that, seeing Jonah's hurt. Yeah, he did love her, no question about it, the way he flinched when she said it like he didn't want to hear it, fuck.... Fuck... I can't believe I was feeling bad about this... I just wanted to f*****g gloat about him and me finally getting back together, and here it was, more people getting hurt, and it was f*****g awful, it was. "It's not, and you know that... just... call you Da and tell him this is happening...." I was having my hands under my chin when he hung up, clearly not wanting to hear more, and I was still unsure what I was feeling, victorious? Bad? Both?

"Happy, Andrea?" I looked at him when he was wearing the shirt on with no boxers or pants, staring like he was blaming me, so what if he was? fuck him.

"Yes." I got up and walked back to him, having my arms around his muscular body, holding him close and snuggling my way inside the smell that was making me feel better. I was happy.