Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 58

"Jonah, listen to me! Listen!" I was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, holding my arms over the doorframe, stopping him from going out, I knew that if he wanted to, he could just move me, shove me to the side and walk out, no problems, but he said he loved me, then he better f*****g listen to what I felt about all this. "Move Andrea." He was pissed and I shook my head, no I wasn't going to move, he was too angry, to f*****g hotheaded and I didn't understand where all of this was coming from, he didn't seem that upset when I woke up at the hospital, he never said a word more then that he had taken care of Chris, that's it.

"No, I'm not f*****g moving, you are not going out there and killing that son of a b***h, I don't want to lose you just because you get arrested for f*****g murder, nothing is worth that Jonah, nothing." I made my own voice darker like he did, and he started to smirk like I was cute for standing up to him, well I was. standing up to him.

"Arrested? That the hell are you taking me for, some goddam loser that doesn't know st*t?" he was still smirking, and I didn't like it, it was hard and raw, real darkness staring back into my eyes when I felt myself shaking the slightest of the hard eyes he had right now, oh f**k he was not kidding me wasn't he?

"Hey no, I don't take you for a loser, you are the best guy I ever met! You are sweet and I know you love me, long before you even wanted to tell me, so f*****g listen to me! forget that bastard, forget he ever existed." I was still standing in the doorway, head tilted up and staring defiant into his merciless eyes that was only wanting blood right now, and I wasn't going to let him do that, he was good deep down, I knew he was, no matter what s**t he was hiding from me.

He was dressed now, hoodie and everything, ready to go when his jaw was making clenching movements, like he was trying to decide to listen to me or not, oh god I really hoped that he did.

"I just... You don't know how I f*****g feel Andrea! Seeing you getting hurt, I never been so f*****g angry in my entire life and he just got away with a simple beating since he ran like the f*****g coward he always was, sniffling motherfucker!" he was getting angrier again when I felt the air in my lungs deflate, did he think that I didn't know what it was like, getting so mad that I wanted to kill someone? he made me that mad, all the f*****g time.

"I'm not blaming you for it.... Jonah.... I'm not blaming you for what happened, sure it f*****g sucked and the pain was horrible. but you took care of me, you did, I had nobody, and you stayed with me, my own parents don't give that much s**t about me you know...?" I felt embarrassed telling him that, but it was the truth. when I said nobody gave a damn about me except for him, Tom, James and maybe Joseph. s** maybe he didn't give a crap either, but it didn't matter, Thad Jonah and that was all I needed.

I held my head down again, feeling even more ashamed of that, I told him before, but not like this, not that I was alone and he was the only thing that I was clinging on to, because I loved him.

"They are f*****g idiots if that's true, how the f**k can they not love you!? you are the most beautiful girl I ever have seen, kind and smart... fierce as f**k... "he had come closer making me hold my breath, still not looking up. my tears burning in my eyes. s**t it was like he just stopped caring about being nervous around me, just said everything that was on his mind, it was like getting sucker punched from his feeling from nowhere, and I f*****g loved it.

"No... they like Ryan more, always have... I'm just something they have to put up with..." I blinked away the first tear rolling down my cheek feeling his thumb stroking it away when I felt my face being lifted up, staring into his blue green eyes, all darkness gone, just pure love that was so bright it was burning me.

“f**k them." He smiled when I smiled back still crying, how the hell did we end up talking about this from him going down on me at the table? s**t I was just as f**i*d up as he was, no doubt about that.

"I don't want you to go, to the wedding, you don't owe them s**t Andrea, you got that? not a damn thing." He was serious when I made a small smile of sadness, I had to go, my parents would kill me if I didn't show up when they already were counting on me to

come.

"No... I have to go... Jonah... my dad already paid, I can't do that to them, even if they are assholes and I hate every minute of seeing Ryan marry the same girl he f****d behind my back. I said I would go and its just two weeks, I'm not going to be gone forever..." I made a hard gulp from saying that, even I didn't believe that I would survive two weeks, what the f**k had I been thinking?! I was going to die being away from Jonah that long.

He didn't say anything just staring into my eyes, his own being unreadable now, like he got what I said but he didn't understand either, why I was going to people that hurt me, believe me, I didn't understand either.

"Fine, then I'm coming too." He smiled from nowhere when I just dropped my chin down, still surprised by his words. He was what?!