Faking It To Survive
Chapter 18

Ryan

It’s been three days since the most perfect night of my life, and I still haven’t been able to get in touch with the person responsible for it. I should have known that night that something was wrong.

Something changed between me and Rose the minute she checked her phone. Everything felt wrong even before she got in the car and asked me to drive her to her old bus stop. She wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me all the way there. Happy, carefree Rose vanished, and the tortured expression came back into her deep, dark eyes. I had no idea how to break the tense silence between us.

I knew something was horribly wrong. We had been spending almost every day at my place. She only went back to her old apartment to pick up clothes or other necessities. Even that got less and less as she just left her stuff at my place permanently, almost like she was moving in.

I pleaded with her to give me her address, but I already knew it was useless. She usually responded with a teasing, “All in good time, Baker.” That time, she just shook her head and kept staring out the window, away from me.

I got a really bad feeling watching her disappear into the night. I respected her too much to push it, but something in me screamed to go after her and protect her from whatever haunted her.

I have to keep reminding myself that Rose is perfectly capable of protecting herself. She would feel incredibly insulted if I suggested that she needed protecting especially if I suggested that I wanted to protect her.

I hoped this terrible dread would be gone by the next morning and things would be back to normal, but I was wrong. Rose wasn’t acting strangely, saying my fight tired her out and she needed rest. No, Rose was avoiding me.

I’ve been calling her for the past three days, but my calls keep going straight to voicemail. I even try to get other people to call her just in case I’m the one she’s mad at and she’s been screening my calls, but that doesn’t work either.

She hasn’t shown up at the gym for our trainings like I hoped, and Travis is getting more restless by the day. Nothing gets to that guy, so you know it’s bad if he’s getting nervous.

I’ve never been worried about anyone like this since Trina got herself into trouble back in college and landed herself in jail. One of her college roommates caught her boyfriend cheating, and Trina and the rest of their friends thought it was a great idea to spray-paint the guy’s car. They got caught. I got so worked up and terrified that day that I lashed out pretty badly at Trina. We didn’t speak for weeks until Travis intervened.

Now Rose isn’t even here for me to lash out to about how worried I am about her.

What if she wants to end things with me? That would be horrifying, especially when I’ve just realized that I am in love with her.

Maybe she’s avoiding me because she somehow knew I was going to tell her how I feel about her that night, and she got scared.

It took a lot to finally get her to trust me and even more for her to be able to open up to me. The last thing I want to do is scare her off. What scares me even more is not knowing where she is or how she’s doing.

Rose has become such a huge part of my life. Now I can’t ignore the void left by her absence.

I dial her number again and press the phone to my ear, but her machine answers.

“Hey, I’m unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message.”

For the first time in three days, I notice that she doesn’t mention her name in her voicemail. There’s also a little rasp in her voice. Is that even Rose talking? It seems suspicious, but I am too out of it to figure it out.

I swear under my breath, run my fingers through my hair in frustration, and slam my phone down on the table in Travis’s office.

“Still nothing?” Travis asks from behind his desk.

I shake my head. “Are you sure she didn’t leave her address when she applied for the job?”

“That’s only the fiftieth time you’ve asked, and we both know she didn’t.” He loosens his tie and leans back in his chair. “I was too excited about finding you a trainer to care about something like that. She put her name on it and not much else. It’s almost like she was preparing for this, like she didn’t want to be traced if she ever disappeared.”

I get up and start pacing around the office. It’s the only thing that keeps me from exploding. “Rose didn’t disappear. She couldn’t have.”

“Are you sure you two didn’t get into a fight or something?”

“Yes!” I snap at him before I shut my eyes and take a deep breath to calm myself down. It isn’t Travis’s fault that Rose disappeared and isn’t answering my calls. “We didn’t get into a fight. Everything was perfect. One minute, we were talking and having the time of our lives. The next minute, she got a text or something and she changed in a heartbeat.”

“And you’re sure …?”

I glare at him before he can repeat the same annoying question again.

I’m about to call Rose again for the umpteenth time when something occurs to me. “She got a message or an email or something, and she instantly shut down. Whatever made her pull away had to have something to do with that.”

“Okay, okay,” Travis replies. “Did you happen to see the text?”

“No,” I grunt. “Hell, it’s getting harder and harder to figure this woman out.”

“Maybe something happened … like a family emergency or something. Why don’t you try calling a relative of hers? They should know how we can reach her or be able to give us feedback on what is going on …” Travis trails off when he notices my clueless expression and shakes his head tiredly. “You don’t know any of her family members, do you? What on earth do you two talk about? You don’t know where she lives or any of her relatives, and you’re this worked up over her absence?”

What did we talk about? I ask myself the same question over and over again. Rose was a mystery, and I didn’t challenge that.

Now that I think about it, I realize I know almost nothing about her. Still, I love her so damn much that the thought of living without her kills me. She better not be in danger. I literally have no idea what to do to fix things right now.

I turn away and head for the door.

“Hey!” Travis calls after me. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I don’t know. I’ll go after her.”

“How will you find her?”

“I don’t know. I’ll start at the damn bus stop.” I reach for the doorknob, but it opens from the other side.

A guy I don’t know pushes past me and holds out a phone to Travis. “The IT team found what you were looking for, Mr. James.”

“Oh, good.” Travis stands up and waves to me. “You’ll want to hear this, Ryan.”

“Whatever it is, it can wait.” I start to turn away again.

“No, really,” Travis tells me. “Stick around.”

“What for?”

He bends over the phone. “Chester left his phone in the gym. He was using it to record his training session, and he accidentally left it running. We only just found out a few days ago.”

“Who the hell is Chester, and why the hell do I care if he left his phone in the gym?”

Travis looks up at me, surprised, and then shrugs. “He’s the new guy that Connor is mentoring. I thought you knew, but I guess you’ve been a little preoccupied lately.”

I snort and turn away again. “I don’t have time for this.”

I start to walk out when an eerie voice from my past fills the office behind my back. That sound sends a shiver up the back of my neck, and my hair stands on end.

“Try it, Ryan. I dare you.” It’s Tammy’s voice, the voice out of my worst nightmares. “Then you can watch me add every juicy detail about how you used to be a violent and manipulative boyfriend. Trust me; I can fabricate as much evidence as the authorities need. The only reason they aren’t bearing down on you right now is because I’m still being coy about the whole thing. If you provoke me, I promise that all of this will stop being a rumor and it will become the truth.”

I turn around, fighting down panic, but there’s nothing to see but Travis and his IT guy standing there, staring at the phone. Her voice comes out of it, saying those words—the same words she said to me in the gym that day.

“This is perfect!” Travis exclaims. “This is exactly what we need.”

“How does this help us?” I counter.

“Don’t you see? This recording exonerates you. Now everyone will know that she fabricated the rape accusation to try to ruin you. You’re free.”

“Free? You call this free? I don’t care about any rape accusation. Just help me find Rose. I don’t give a damn what Tammy does.”

“Finding Rose won’t help save your career, but this will.” He bends over the phone and replays the rest of the recording, but nothing else on it proves anything more than that one snatch of dialogue.

“Are you finished?” I ask. “Can I go now?”

“At least do some damage control with the press,” Travis replies. “You need to be available for interviews as soon as we release the recording. You need to be ready to counter anything else Tammy comes up with—”

His phone rings, interrupting him. He frowns when he takes it out of his pocket.

I grind my teeth, waiting for him to finish. Every second I spend in this office is another second I’m not out there, looking for Rose.

I’m just about to give up and leave anyway when he moves the phone away from his mouth. “Ryan …” he whispers, “it’s her.”

I stop in my tracks. “What?” I take four fast strides toward Travis. “What did you say?”

Travis places a finger on his lips, signals me to keep quiet, and puts his phone on speaker. “Rose?” he calls.

There’s a moment’s silence on the other end before her voice fills the room. “Hey, Travis.”

“Rose, where the hell have you been?” he exclaims. “Ryan and I have been worried sick about you. Your number kept sending us straight to voicemail, and neither of us knows your home address. You’ve also completely ignored your responsibilities as his trainer—”

“That’s why I called. I know this isn’t ideal, but I called to let you know I’m resigning as Ryan’s personal trainer. I already sent an email to your secretary, but I just wanted to let you know in person. I’m sorry for all the inconvenience I may have caused you.”

I freeze, and so does Travis. We both stare at each other then back down at the phone.

“Is something wrong, Rose?” he asks. “If it’s about you and Ryan, I’m sure you two can talk about it and fix things.”

“No, no, it’s not about Ryan and me.” Something shuffles in the background before she goes on. “Can you please not tell him about this? Just … let him know this has nothing to do with him … and he shouldn’t come looking for me.”

I yank the phone out of his hand and bellow into the speaker, “Bullshit! If it has nothing to do with me, then why have you been ignoring my calls?”

“Ryan!” she gasps.

“Rose, please, just tell me where you are … or at least just tell me what’s going on. It’s driving me crazy not knowing. Is it something I did or said? We can fix it. I promise.”

She doesn’t say a word. For a second, I hold out on a slim shred of hope that I can convince her, but when she speaks again, she shatters my heart into a million pieces.

“Goodbye, Ryan.”

“Rose!” I scream into the speaker, but I don’t get a response. “Rose!”

She hung up.

My arm falls to my side. I fight the urge to scream my lungs out. How could she do this to me—to us? Didn’t she say she wanted us to stay like that forever? Did I read too much into it.

Travis grips my shoulder. I had completely forgotten he was in the room. I don’t know anything and feel nothing.

I shrug his hand off and walk back toward the door.

“We both heard her,” he calls after me. “She doesn’t want you to come after her.”

I don’t bother turning around. “She’s lying.”

“What?”

“She sounded wrong. Her voice … it sounded wrong. Something’s wrong. I can feel it.” That’s all I say before I walk out the door.

Travis calls after me, but I don’t care.

I stomp down the hall, heading for the elevator, when he comes rushing after me.

“Fine, I’m coming with you.”

I don’t even care about that anymore. What I feel for Rose goes beyond words. I’ll fight for her no matter what. No one will ever come close to her. I refuse to let her go just like that.

I’m going after my girl.