Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 75

‘Our flight just landed. I’ll give you a call after training. Take care.’

It’s been four hours since Aiden sent that text, four hours since I’ve been fuming with rage, waiting for him to call after training. At some point, I was so tempted to call him and just tell him how much of a coward he is to leave without letting me know.

The day before, he had casually told me he’d be leaving for his games tomorrow. But how dare he leave while I was still asleep? He didn’t say he was leaving in the morning, so I assumed his flight was in the afternoon and had already packed my suitcase because I planned to go with him. Thinking that the change of environment may give us both a different view of what had happened these past few days.

But then, I woke up to a note on the bedside drawer, letting me know that he had left. What in the name of Nyala is going on with Aiden?!

It’s already been two days since Matteo’s punishment. I haven’t allowed myself to think about him anymore. I don’t even want to. The Goblin was taken by Rebecca after the new Malakari Alpha was sworn in. The guardians were also a border between us and the Goblins, Trolls, Vampires, and Sirens. She’s going to report the Goblin to their king and we’ll never have to hear from it again.

Afterwards, we spent those days busy with Aiden implementing new laws as well as therapy, with the investigation of abuse from all packs kicking in. I had been by his side doing things together, so we hardly had any alone time to ourselves till we got home.

But when we do, Aiden locks himself in the room he had now chosen to stay in, and hardly ever comes out. When I try talking to him, he brushes it off and changes the topic, but that would also only last for a few minutes before he maneuvers his way out of it and leaves.

I have been thinking of ways to get to him, but as much as it hurts to admit, I figured I know very little about my mate. Okay, maybe not little, but I have no idea how to start breaking the wall he’d put between us.

I’ve never done this and so, it makes it extremely hard to find a crack.

And now this! Leaving for seven days without saying goodbye except through text! Not even I did that the first time he left for his games!

I bit my l*p so hard I felt the pain wheeze through before I let go. My eyes were still pinned on the text, as I counted the minutes and hours since he’d sent it.

‘I’m with you now, Nat. We need to teach him a lesson!’ Erin sneered. She was also angry at Aiden and Leo’s behavior towards us. ‘How about ignoring him completely even when he calls?’

‘I’m that petty. You bet I would!’ I seethed, staring at my phone and waiting.

‘No hugs. No good-bye k**s,’ Erin murmured quietly. ‘Nat, do you think this is a payback? Maybe he left without hugging us because the first time he left we didn’t hug him too.’

‘I didn’t stop him though. I thought he’d hug me then but he didn’t. Besides, even if that were the case, then he’s more of a coward than I thought.’ I snapped.

‘You know I’m just trying to find an excuse for what he did, right?’

‘Well, there’s none. I can’t seem to find any because he chose not to talk to me, Erin. And it actually hurts,’ I sighed.

It hurts more than I want to admit, and it hurts even more because I missed him and all the time we spent together. But if he thinks he’s getting rid of me this way, then he’ll have to think again. Because he’s hooked with me forever.

Whatever is going on with him, I plan to find out and we’ll fix it together.

But how? Maybe I try applying the same tricks he did with me back in the day?

But he did say he’ll call after training, is he still training? I threw the phone with a thud on the bed and stood up. Ugh! This is annoying!

But after being away from the phone for mere seconds, I rushed back to it, scrolled through my contacts and dialed Kane’s number. I should know what he’s up to before I call.

“Greetings, Your Majesty,” Kane said as soon as he picked the call. “How may I be of service?”

I smiled faintly. “Oh come on, Kane. Drop the formalities. How is training?”

“We were done two hours ago. The training didn’t last long because he wasn’t focusing.”

“You mean Aiden?” I asked, swallowing the rage that had doubled over knowing that he had finished training for over two hours, yet he didn’t bother to call.

“Yeah,” he replied quietly. “I hate when he gets this way. Maybe you should talk to him. He listens to you.”

I wish! I almost said. Now he doesn’t even want to talk to me. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Did you call for something?”

“Oh, I…” I trailed off, trying to find an excuse. “I called to say keep a close eye on him and take very good care of my man, okay?”

He laughed. “Of course, Your Majesty. I will make sure I do that.”

“Thank you, Kane,” I replied, smiling a bit.

But as I slipped the phone from my ear, the smile vanished. Just what in the world is going on with Aiden?

Deciding not to wallow in more self-doubting thoughts, where I’ll ask myself again if I was the cause of this, or if I really needed to leave for him to be happy, I set my phone aside and left the room.

It was almost 2pm, I might make a better use of my time by preparing lunch for both Tiffany and I.

But the thoughts, despite my numerous tries to get rid of them, didn’t vanish when I worked in the kitchen. I wondered just where I went wrong, because he started acting this way after Donald got hurt. The only plausible explanation I have for this is that he’s blaming me for this.

Although, if I remember the conversation we had, he was also blaming himself. But that shouldn’t make him treat me this way, right? I mean, he should already know I would never want to deliberately hurt him or his family. Never.

This. This is one of the reasons I hate being alone ever since I broke from my shell. Because self depressing thoughts never do me any good. They never do good to anyone.

But we all have those demons in our head whispering about only the bad choices we made, or how incapable we were in some situations, how unworthy, how broken. On the outside, we laugh, shining our teeth as though we are the happiest. But on the inside, we are like dead souls. Empty cracked shells that can’t feel, and are totally devoid of positive thoughts and emotions. Walking around and interacting with others, only because it’s expected of us, and not because it is what we truly want.

Those moments are the worst, and recently, I’ve tried to avoid giving those thoughts a free pass in my mind. These past few days however, with everything going on, it was impossible.

They sucked at every part of me, ripped me of the little senses I held on, holding a tight grip on my very existence, hence, the constant questions of if I ever truly deserve happiness. If I’m ever worthy. If…

“Natasha!” Tiffany’s voice cut me off as I jumped in shock.

“No sneaking up, woman!” I glared at her, my hands gripping the sink behind me. Thankfully, I was done cooking and was about to dish out the food. I made a simple rice and beans Jollof, garnished it with some Ponmo (cow hide), fish, and some spinach. The kitchen smelled amazing, and while I may be pissed, I won’t deny myself the pleasure of good food.

“Well, I knocked and yelled your name twice but it seems you weren’t on Earth with me. So I had to shout.” Tiffany replied, pushing a lock of hair off her face. “What’s going on? You’ve been different recently.”

“No…”

“Don’t give me that, Natasha. You can do better.”

I sighed, piling my plate with enough food before I sat on the chair and placed my plate on the island. Tiff did the same and we both kept quiet as we ate our food. At least, until I decided to break the silence.

“Everything feels different after what happened,” I said quietly, dropping my spoon and gulping down a good amount of my tigernut drink. “I don’t even know what to think anymore, Tiff.”

“Well, things are definitely going to change. That man is already gone now. You witnessed it.”

I shut my eyes. How do I begin telling her I didn’t care about that? That I didn’t allow myself to think about Matteo since the incident happened? He wasn’t the center of my attention and I have no plans to waste my time on him.

“Tiffany, I know you know nothing about love. But what are the signs of a man who doesn’t love a woman any more?”

“That’s simple though. If a man loves, he cares, and he shows it. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.”

“How so?” I asked, a bitter taste filling my mouth.

“Well,” Tiff pushed her plate away, clean and empty. She placed her elbows on the island and leaned closer. “It’s just like you and Aiden. Everyone can see just how much he loves you from his reaction towards you. He shows it, and that is one way to know when a man wants you. When he loves you.”

I swallowed again, the bitter taste getting worse. “So, if he starts acting otherwise, his feelings may be changing?”

“Not necessarily. In some cases, yes. In others, he may be going through somethings that may warrant the state he finds himself in. I’m not an expert in all of this, but that’s how I’ll think.”

“I see,” I nodded. I tried to take a gulp of the tigernut drink again, but it tasted bland on my tongue.

“Why do you ask?” Tiffany asked, eyeing me curiously.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just curious, that’s all,” I smiled. “I have therapy tomorrow. We should go visit Donald afterwards,” I said quickly, noticing that she may say more.

The rest of the day just went by, and I can’t clearly say what I spent it doing. By the time I finally went back to my room, it was almost 9pm. I didn’t touch my phone, because I was scared. Scared that he may not have called, and filled with anticipation of meeting his missed calls and giving him a call back.

I took a quick shower, changed into my pajamas, dusted my bed and stepped into my thick blanket. I waited till I had settled in, made sure my head was on the right pillow and angle, before I pulled my phone and pressed on the lock key.

My heart sank when I saw the screen blank. No missed calls. No messages.

Tears stung my eyes, because now, I really do not know what to do, and it hurts even more. I could hear Erin’s small howls of pain. Our mate was not close, and he was ignoring us. The sound of his voice would have definitely helped, but it seems he doesn’t want to hear mine.

‘Erin, my heart hurts,’ I mumbled, allowing a lone tear to roll down my cheeks while I stared at nothing.

‘So does mine, Nat,’ Erin whined, closing her eyes and falling on her paws.

I sighed, a surge of determination seeping through me. I’ve been shouting that I don’t know what to do, when I didn’t try. I should try first before I give up, right?

I picked my phone and tapped on his name, then typed a message to him.

‘Rabin Rai, I miss you so much. I love you. Never forget that.’

Slow steps first. Slow, determined steps.