Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 78

A- ‘Perfect. You look perfect, Nala.’ I typed the reply, and before I could think I was slipping away, or that I was doing something wrong, I sent it.

N- ‘Really? Did I make your heart skip a beat?’

A- ‘It did more than that.’

N- ‘Like?’

A- ‘The desperate urge to hold you.’

N- ‘I wanna do that even more. I want to run my fingers through your beard, Rabin Rai. I miss you so so so much.’

I stared at the message, cursing myself for hesitating in replying. When did I ever hesitate when it comes to Nala? But I know why I’m doing it now, and it hurts even more. It hurts so damn much. Will I be able to keep her safe through my anger if I drop the wall?

It is official though, Nala had rendered me speechless. Before I could reply, she sent another text.

N- ‘Okay. Video call or phone call?’

A- ‘I look like s**t right now, Nala. Definitely not fit for a video call.’

N- ‘All the more reason I need to see you. I don’t care what you look like. You’re mine in every way.’

I felt a triple flip from my heart down to the tip of my toes: reaching every core it could. You know, that kind of flip that twirls your heart like a string? Then pull at it as though it was a string? Yeahz that type. And for the briefest moment, I honestly thought I couldn’t breathe, because every part of me ceased to function as I reread the message thrice before I typed a reply.

A- ‘It is late already, Nala. And I’m too lazy to go turn the lights on. Maybe a phone call for today?’

N- ‘No worries. I just need my mate. Calling in about a minute!’

I snuggled more into the blanket. The fever was mostly gone now, and the tightness in my heart had reduced drastically. I knew Nala had to do with it, and while I appreciate it, I’m even more scared of hurting her now than ever.

‘I feel drowsy. Maybe we should stop this. I can’t hold on for too long. I need our mate,’ Leo mumbled, the same time my phone began to ring.

Pure unadulterated joy filled my heart. Just the thought of talking to Nala far into the night made me excited, and it took away 75% of my pain. Like me, I felt Leo’s excitement seep through. I almost, almost declined the call out of excitement before I calmed my nerves and answered.

“Hey, handsome,” she said cheerfully.

“Hi Nala.” I replied, trying to contain the smile threatening to stretch against my lips.

“So, before we start, I want to tell you about my day,” she said. I heard a bit of shuffling before it settled and I could only hear the sound of her breathing. “Want to hear about it?”

“Of course,” I answered, turning to the other side and placing the phone on my ear without supporting it.

“Okay. First, I woke up very angry and sad, don’t ask why,” she laughed softly. But I couldn’t help thinking if I was the reason she woke up sad and angry. “Then I went for therapy, and we discussed a few things with Dr Lily, which gave me a better insight on my feelings and how I perceived some things. I called you after therapy, then I trained with the girls. You didn’t tell me you left Sherneil to train me!” She said, sounding a lot more excited.

As she continued to speak, telling me about her day, the training, time with the girls, a few more shopping for necessary stuff, and so on. I realized just how much I missed this woman. Just how much I missed talking to her about things like this. How much I missed listening to her talking about nothing and everything. The way her voice drops when she’s talking about something sad, or how it rises when she’s talking about a funny memory.

I f*****g miss her, and that knowledge, that admission that I missed her more than I want to admit, was slowly crumbling the walls around me. Even the connection between Leo and I was getting stronger.

“…and now, I’m just laying on my bed, fully dressed and talking to my man,” she finished, giggling.

Oh, Nala, I thought, shutting my eyes to get rid of the image of her laying in bed. Clothes on and off.

“How was your day?”

“Bland,” I replied without much thought. “Just training and…missing you,” the words ripped out of my throat before I could stop them. I would hate to give her hope that I can do this, only to mess up afterwards. But the deed had already been done, and there’s no way to rectify it.

“You…” she paused, sighed, then continued. “Mine was pretty bland too. Trust me on that. But are you okay?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Your voice…it sounds huskier than usual, and a bit breathy as well.”

“Oh, that,” I cleared my throat. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“I guess training was exhausting,” she sighed. “I’d have given you a massage if we were together,” she said, her voice dropping to an octave.

Damn! What in the name of Nyala! The image perfectly etched itself in my brain. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get rid of it. Nala on top of me, giving me a massage.

‘Why does she have to be on top of you to give you a massage?’ Leo scoffed.

But the picture was perfectly etched, especially after his comments. I mean, she can do a lot on top of me, right?

‘Stop with those f*****g damn thoughts! We are alone here mister!’ He snarled. It was already obvious that the images I was subjecting us to were getting to him.

“The bed feels empty and too large without you here, Rabin Rai,” she said again.

I cursed, loud. And I didn’t even know when that happened. But I did.

“Nalaaa…” I dragged the name, as I sat up and threw the quilt off of me. I was suddenly hot all over.

“Hum? Everything okay?” She asked, sounding too innocent for my liking.

Damn woman! You have no idea what you are doing to me over here.

I cleared my throat. “Everything is fine.”

“Okay. Let’s start our game. I’ll go first. Truth or dare?”

I took a few seconds thinking of what I should choose. I pulled the polo shirt I wore for training and threw it across the room, then leaned my back against the headboard, pulled one leg up and stretched the other.

“Truth,” I finally answered.

“How are you?” Her voice was soft and quiet. And there was a hint of worry laced in it. Was she…worried about me? “And you know you chose the truth. So you have to tell the truth.”

I swallowed. How do I begin telling her how I feel when even I don’t know the answer to that? How do I start telling her that I’m distancing myself from her because I don’t think I’m capable of keeping her safe?

Expressing myself was never something I struggled with. At least, not when I’m good. But every time I block people off, every time I isolate myself from other people, I struggle to express myself.

Isolating myself was my coping mechanism. Even if it wasn’t healthy.

“I’m…not okay,” I finally answered. “But I’ll be fine.” I added quickly.

A beat of silence passed. “And I guess you don’t want to talk about it yet,” she murmured. “Now your turn. Ask me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she answered.

“Are you still angry and sad?”

“I’m not angry, at least, not currently. But I’m sad, and I’m hurting, Rabin Rai,” she mumbled. “Truth or dare?” She asked.

“Truth.”

“Are you hurting over something?”

I swallowed. Again. “Yes. Yes I am hurting.”

“That makes the two of us,” she whispers.

I hissed at her reply. The prospect of me being responsible for her pain didn’t sit well with me. But how do I fix it? “Truth or dare?” I asked to rid myself of the thoughts.

“Dare,” she giggled. “I want a dare.”

“A dare you say?” I laughed. My first laugh in days.

“Yes, a dare.”

“I don’t know what to dare you with, Nala.” I laughed again. It sounded easier. Way easier than it did a few days back. “I dare you to dare me.”

“That’s one interesting dare,” she burst into fits of laughter. “But I like you. So, I dare you to close your eyes, and imagine me in the room kissing you goodnight,” she breathed. “On the lips, of course.”

The dangerous image that played in my head was…deadly, so much so that I hissed loudly as my body shook. What is this woman doing to me?

“It is almost 12am over there. So, why don’t you rest and we continue this tomorrow? Keep that image of me kissing you good night in your head, Rabin Rai. I love you.” She whispered before I heard the ding sound of the call ending.

That was…everything.

I wasn’t hurting like I was this afternoon, and the heaviness in my heart had reduced drastically. But I was hot all over. And mad at myself for what I had done. I should’ve bid my woman farewell. Should’ve hugged her tight, kissed her and told her how much I’m going to miss her.

But I didn’t. Because for the up-tenth time, I had let my emotions be my guide. Mama was right, I should focus on getting a hold on my emotions instead of blocking people off.

Nyala help me, I hope I survive this torture I had incurred on myself.

The most important thing this had taught me however, was that my woman was willing to fight for us even with my shitty attitude. I know she’s angry, cause who in their right minds wouldn’t be angry at what I did? But she’s not showing it. Instead, she’s slowly making me understand what I did was wrong. And that I was hurting us both.

And I was damn proud of her.

‘My only problem right now is the sack I had managed to empty is full all over again. Fuller than the first time if I dare say,’ Leo grumbled, wincing.

But before I could reply, my phone beeped. I tapped on it eagerly when I saw it was Nala.

‘Here is a good night gift, Rabin Rai. ‘Boy I love you, I love you, I love you.’ That is part of the lyrics. The song says girl though, so imagine me kissing you goodnight and singing you this song. Replace the girl with a boy. I love you forever and always, Rabin Rai. Song title; I love you by Psquare. P.S; Sherneil shared some music with me today during training.’

I’m fvcked. Over and over and over!

Nala was a dangerous vampire out for my soul, body, mind, and b***d. And I’ll willingly give it to her.