Heartprints in the Void
⊰ 16 ⊱ Confronting the Truth

*What is he doing here..?*

...

*How does he even know where I live?*

Again, he knocks, and again, Bubbles emits a singular bark.

I raise my voice, shouting through the door, "Just a moment!" I place my hands on the side of Bubbles' legs, urging him to move with me. "Come on, buddy," I whisper, guiding him to my bedroom where I point to his bed and tell him, "Go lay down."

With this, I shut the bedroom door and turn in the direction of the front door, my heart pounding in my chest. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the confrontation I know is coming. As I unlock the door and pull it open, my eyes lock with Cade's. There's a desperate, uncertain look on his face as he draws his hands into his pockets.

"Hi," I breathe out after a moment, my voice steadier than I feel.

I won't pretend that I have no idea what he's here for. The way he turns around and starts pacing, the humorless chuckle that escapes his lips, tells me everything I need to know.

*He did the packet inspection...*

He runs his fingers through his dirty blond hair, shaking his head before cupping his hand over his mouth. When he turns to look at me, his breathing is uneven. "Can I come in?" he asks, his voice strained.

I hesitate for a moment, nodding before stepping out of the doorway and motioning for him to come in. My eyes gloss over him, watching him accept my invitation in reluctance. As he walks past me, I can't help but wonder what I'm supposed to say, how I'm supposed to navigate this conversation when it feels like I'm walking on eggshells around him.

After all, I had prepared for the possibility of just about anything *except* this.

In one swift motion, I shut the door and lock it in place. "How did you know where I live?" I ask, he question tumbling out before I can stop it.

He doesn't answer immediately, waiting until I turn to face him to say, "I pulled your address from the employee HR system."

*Of course, you did.*

The invasion of privacy stings, but I push the feeling aside. There are more important things to focus on right now.

"W-"

"I wanted you gone," he cuts me off, his words hitting me like a physical blow. "You gave me a reason, and I wanted to get rid of you."

I feel my heart sink, a familiar ache spreading through my chest. Still, I refuse to let him see how much his words affect me. I cross my arms, hugging myself as if I can shield my heart from further pain.

"My instincts told me not to, so I faltered," he admits, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I couldn't explain it. Then, I started trying to remember all of the reasons why we dated to begin with."

He shakes his head, a look of frustration and confusion etched on his features. "Elysian, there is a void in my mind..." His voice trails off, and suddenly, he moves towards me, his eyes finding mine once more. "There are holes in my memories, and I think you know why."

I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. I knew this moment would come, but now that it's here, I find myself at a loss for words.

I sympathize with him, and before I can mutter a sound, he says, his voice low and intense, "I did that packet inspection. I know what you found."

"Then why are you here?" I ask, my own voice quavering despite my best efforts. "If you know what I know, then -"

He chuckles humorlessly, interjecting, "I don't know what you know, Elysian. I didn't look at the file."

*Oh...*

"I didn't look at the file because I want no record of me ever having looked at it," he explains, his gaze boring into mine. "So, I need you to tell me. I need you to tell me why there's a file with my name on it in a system that's meant for files that belong to people who took part in classified medical treatments."

I want to help him, but a part of me can't help but wonder what will happen if I tell him what I know. Will he believe me? Or will he call me a liar, turn on me and ruin me because of it?

*Unless I show him.*

"Okay..." I breathe out after a moment, motioning for the chair of the kitchen table. "But you need to sit down. I won't show you otherwise."

He furrows his brows, confusion flickering across his face. "Show me?"

I refuse to say anything more, and with no other choice, he shoots me a long look before moving to the chair and lowering himself to it.

*Okay...*

I have to believe that this is the best thing that I can do and hope that it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

With shaky hands, I move to the TV stand, taking the locked safe box from the bottom of the shelf. I'm acutely aware of Cade's eyes following my every move, avoiding his gaze as I set the box on the table. I press my thumb against the padlock, hearing the familiar beep as the scanner flashes green and the top pops open.

I meet Cade's gaze once more, a silent plea for understanding, before flipping the lid and pulling out the stack of papers inside.

"This is the only copy," I tell him, laying the file in front of him. "It's yours to do as you please. I-I know that I could probably go to prison for this, but I think that you deserve to see it for yourself. You deserve to know." Silence stretches between us, and despite how well I used to know him, I can't begin to guess what's going through his mind.

Needing a distraction, I excuse myself, moving to the kitchen. "I'll make you some coffee," I mutter, more to fill the silence than anything else.

I almost forget to breathe as I pretend not to watch him while I ground the coffee beans and prep the coffee maker. With each page he turns, the uneasiness inside me grows, my heart pounding against my ribs.

I set his coffee in front of him, but he doesn't touch it. And I don't blame him.

He reaches the last page, and I see something shift in his demeanor. He flips back to the beginning, reading the first page once more.

"Fiancé..." he mutters under his breath.

Suddenly, his head snaps up, his eyes locking with mine. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

*I wish it were...*

"I'm sorry," I say softly, my voice thick. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you..."

"Hard?" He scoffs, shaking his head as he balls his hand and gently pounds his fist against the table. His gaze breaks from my own, stating in his denial, "It's hard for me to believe that I once felt so deeply for you that I asked you to marry me and I don't remember doing it."

As much as I wish that it did, it doesn't faze me. However, unlike every moment since, I'm prepared for this.

With steady hands, I reach back into the safe, drawing the small, black, suede box and a printed photograph. "This is the day that you proposed," I say as I slide the picture across the table, toward him. I hold my breath, opening the box that holds the last gift he gave me. My voice hardly sounds like my own, and it feels as though I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve as I say, "And this is the ring that you gave me."

His eyes widen, his body going rigid as he stares at the glittering diamond. "That's my mother's ring..." he whispers, his voice barely audible.

"I-I never got the chance to give it back to you," I stammer, my composure slipping for just a moment. I reach beneath the jewelry box and stack of photographs, pulling out the letter that shattered my world 3 years ago. "This is the last time that I heard from you."

He takes the letter from my hand, his brows furrowed as he unfolds it. His eyes scan the page, his chest rising and falling with each sharp breath. "This is my handwriting," he says, disbelief coloring his tone. "I wrote this...but I don't remember writing it."

The pain in his voice tugs at my heart, and I feel a flicker of the old empathy, the old love that I once held for him. I want to walk over to him and hug him, tell him that I'm here for him, but I push it down, reminding myself that the man in front of me is not the same man I knew.

*It isn't my place anymore.*

“I need to go,” he says abruptly, pushing back from the table and grabbing the file.

I don't try to stop him. I simply watch as he walks out the door, taking with him the last remnants of the life we once shared.

As the door clicks shut behind him, I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. I've done what I set out to do. I've given him the truth, no matter how painful it may be.

What he does with it now is up to him.