In Between The Alphas
Chapter 91

CHARLOTTE'S P.O.V

Everything feels foggy and my head feels like someone is sticking a million needles into it at the same time. There is also the incessant beeping that just won't stop.

I'm trying to raise my hands to my ears just to block out the sound but my hands feel like they are wrapped in cement. The beeping quieted and I felt a hand stroke my cheek softly and even though it feels different, I kept my eyes squeezed shut- I don't want to give Hunter the satisfaction of knowing that his touch puts me on edge. "Charlotte," my name was like pure honey dripping from that voice- his voice and my eyes shot open.

Grey clashed with green as I stared into his eyes never once blinking. I know I'm dreaming again but I don't want to wake up.

"It's not a dream baby," he said softly but I shook my head.

I know how this works. I think it's him and he tells me the sweetest things. He tells me how much he loves me and that he doesn't hate me and I let myself believe it only for the dream to be shattered by Hunter's morning actions.

"I'm right here," he promised me, his eyes softening with love and concern, "You're not dreaming."

His knuckle brushed against my cheek and I caved into it. He doesn't feel like a dream.

"Lo-," my voice came out scratchy and he quickly handed me a glass of water that I drained quickly, "Are you- Am I- If this is a dream then I don't want to wake up."

"If it's a dream then I don't want to either."

A tear feel from my cheek at his words and he wasted no time in sitting at the side of the bed. I tried to sit up and he helped me get into a comfortable position.

More tears fell at the feel of his hands against my skin- it has been so long. I could see his hands shaking as he pulled me into his arms.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered into his shirt and shame filled me, "I don't deserve-,"

"I should be the one apologizing," he shushed me softly, "I was supposed to keep you safe and I failed- I am sorry for that. You were gone for an entire three weeks and I couldn't find you." "Hunter," I began but he shook his head

"He's as good as dead," he told me and I let out a sigh of relief.

I realized I needed to tell him that I am- ruined, "He- While I was there he would- every morning- I tried but."

"Don't," Logan's voice was soft but firm, "I don't want you to think about him or anything he did. Just focus on me, listen to me- it's me and you now."

"Don't," Logan's voice was soft but firm, "I don't want you to think about him or anything he did. Just focus on me, listen to me- it's me and you now."

"You know." It's not a question, it's an observation. "You know about every other time after the first."

"I do," he admitted and my sobs grew louder, "it doesn't change anything Charlotte- f**k." He cradled my face in his hands and tilted my head up to him but I wouldn't open my eyes, "Look at me."

"I don't want to see it," I said- the disgust, the anger- I don't want to see it.

"Look at me baby, please." I forced my eyes up to his and there were tears welled up in his eyes, "You are so strong and I love you so much. Whatever he did, it can't change that. You're my mate, you're my girl and I will never ever look at you differently because of something like that."

I paused when I realized that he was telling me he loved me for the first time. I decided not to draw much attention to it.

I sniffled, "I really don't want to talk about it right now," I told him, "I just want to go home and get clean."

"You are clean," he told me, "The doctors gave you a bath before-,"

"I want to go home," I reiterated, "Please Logan."

He nodded and rang for the doctor. He moved to touch my hand and I stiffened almost immediately. I quickly recovered though but Logan saw it.

"Do you want a female doctor?" he asked and I shook my head.

Getting another doctor will take some time. I just want to get out of here.

"I think she should stay at least a day for supervision," the doctor began but when he saw Logan's look he cleared his throat, "She can go home but she should take at least three days bed rest and she needs to get some food and a lot of liquids in her stomach. I just need to draw some blood to run some tests and make sure that there is no wolf's bane or any other chemical remaining in her system."

He drew the blood and as soon as he took the IV out of my arm I was on my feet. I swayed a bit and Logan immediately steadied me.

"I could carry you," he offered but I shook my head.

"I can do it; I'm fine."

The ride home was quiet and a little tense. I knew Logan had a lot of questions but he chose to respect my space and stayed quiet. I was too busy trying to stop myself from clawing at my skin because of the memories flying around in my head. By the time we got home I was sporting a headache.

Logan opened the door to the house and it was like nothing changed. Scratch that, nothing changed at all. His shirt was still lying on the couch where he had taken it off the morning I was taken. A half empty glass of water that I know belongs to me is sitting on the

counter.

I turned to Logan and he gave me a sad smile that solidified my thoughts. He didn't come in here while I was gone.

"Do you want to stay in your room or ours?" he asked and I decided then that I hated the way he asked questions as if scared I would break.

Granted I am on the verge of breaking, but that isn't the point.

"Ours," I aid finally, I don't want to be away from him for any much longer.

He looked pleased with my answer and led me to his room.

"If you're hungry I can make something for you. I was thinking chicken-,"

"If I had chosen my room," I cut him off, "Would you have let me stay there?"

He looked surprised by my question but nodded immediately, "I will always respect your wishes; but I would have stayed there with you."

I didn't know how to respond to that so I just made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I made sure the water was steaming hot before I sat under it. It burnt my skin but it was worth it. The pain from the shower covered up the muddled voices in my head but it couldn't help my fractured soul.

I stood up and took a loofah and started scrubbing my skin aggressively, trying to get the dirt and grime off my skin, the blood and his- and him.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked and I didn't realize he had walked in.

He cursed when the hot water hit his skin but other than that he didn't do anything. He didn't try to change the temperature or anything; he just held my hand that was scrubbing in a firm but kind grip.

"You're hurting yourself," he told me but I shook my head, "Baby, talk to me please."

"I need to," I tried to j3rk my hand out of his grip.

"Charlotte."

"I need to get him off me." I yelled finally as the sobs broke free.