In Between The Alphas
Chapter 92

I saw his shoulders deflate and he knelt in front of me. He pried the loofah out of my clenched fingers and the moment I lost their comfort I started to cry.

I hate how I'm crying over every single thing.

"Please

don't cry," he whispered.

"Give it to me."

"I can't, baby you know I can't."

A scream clawed out of my throat and he placed his forehead on my stomach in defeat.

"Don't do this to me Logan please," I resorted to begging, "I need to get if off."

"I'm sorry." He whispered

"I just want to be clean." I pleaded with him, "Please don't do this to me."

He squeezed the corner of my stomach for a second and lifted his head. When he opened his eyes a certain redness was seeping into the rims- he's crying. Why is he crying? "There's nothing on you," his voice was so soft, "You're clean, you're perfectly clean."

I shook my head, "It's all over me."

"There's nothing over you," he assured me.

"It's everywhere; on the outside and the inside." I decided to use my hands to scrub it off and he grabbed both of mine in one of his.

I slid to the shower floor in defeat and pulled my knees up to my chest. "Just let me clean it off."

"Look at your hands;" he told me "You're hurting yourself."

"Please just get it off me." I can't look at myself right now, "Please Logan, I need you to do it for me."

A shudder wracked through his body but he nodded. He pulled me to my feet and I could feel how his skin was vibrating with every movement.

His hands were soft and they made slow and deliberate strokes across my skin. He never once looked away as he washed me and he didn't linger longer than he needed to. My sobs reduced to small hiccups as he stood and faced me.

He put the loofah back then cupped my cheek with his left hand. I shivered from the intensity of his eyes as they roamed my face. Finally, he placed a lingering kiss on my forehead and I couldn't help but melt into it.

"You are perfect," he breathed out.

"I'm broken."

"You aren't broken, and even if you are I will stand by your side as you pick up all the pieces and help you put them back together." His voice held promise, "And he will suffer for what he did to you."

Standing there in the shower under the now cold shower, one of us fully clothed and the other fully naked- it felt like I could be whole again.

He pulled away much too soon and returned with a fluffy towel, turned off the shower and wrapped me up. I tried to take the towel from him but he wouldn't have it. He dried me off and pulled one of his plain tees over my head. I couldn't stop myself from taking a large inhale.

"Let's get you to sleep okay," his smile was shaky.

"Will you hold me?" I hate how small my voice sounds.

"Of course,"

I sat up in bed while he changed out of his wet clothes into a clean pyjama set and I frowned.

"You don't sleep with a shirt." I told him and he froze with the shirt over his head.

"I want you to be comfortable."

"I am, I just don't want you to treat me like I'm different." I can't decipher the emotions in his eyes, "You tell me I'm not broken but then you act completely different." "I'm sorry." I wasn't expecting an apology.

He folded the shirt back into the closet and lay in bed next to me. He pulled me into his chest and I felt so emotional by the action that tears dripped from my eyes. "You're killing me here Charlotte." His voice broke at the end, "I can't keep doing these things if they're going to make you cry."

"They're happy tears," I promised, "I just- every night I imagined you holding me, that was how I was able to fall asleep and now-you're here and it's just a lot."

"I didn't- I'm sorry. I'll say it every single day of my life if I need to but I'm sorry I let you get taken in the first place."

"It's okay," I sniffed, "I just wish I could will it all away. Wake up one day and it's all gone from my mind but it doesn't work that way, does it?"

"No it doesn't, but if I could I would take away all your pain in an instant." He pulled me impossibly tighter, "I hate that you had to go through all of that alone."

"How do you know what happened in there?" I asked the question that has been on my mind for a while, "Did he tell you?"

"No," he hesitated before speaking, "He would send- videos. Sometimes they were live streams and other times they were already filmed."

"Did you watch them all?"

"Yes."

He saw it. He saw me like that and he's still here. He must be so disgusted. How did I look? Does he hate me?

"You're pulling away," his voice cut in, "I don't hate you, I don't feel anything but hurt for you, anger with myself for letting you get taken in the first place and pride that you went through all that and you're still here with me." "Was it just you who saw them?"

"I don't-,"

"Please Logan; I need to know."

"Greg and Jake saw the first one." He admitted, "We didn't know what it was. He just said he wanted us all there for it. That was the only one they saw."

I inhaled sharply, "Can I-,"

"Go to sleep Charlotte," he told me, "You had a long day, we'll talk tomorrow."

I nodded and he ran his fingers through my hair slowly. I know sleep won't find me easily and when it does it will be plagued with demons. LOGAN'S P.O.V

It took her a full hour to fall asleep and the moment she did I let out a relieved sigh.

I tried to sleep, I really did but each time I closed my eyes I saw her in the bath with terrified eyes, rubbing her skin raw. She looked at me like I held all the solutions to her problems and it broke my heart.

I ran my free hand through my hair in frustration.

I shot a quick text to Jake telling him she is awake but to hold off with any visits. I don't want to overwhelm her with people when she is like this.

I started to get out of bed but she held my arm in a death grip and I stayed back. Just then my phone rang: JAKE

"How is she?" were his first words.

"I don't know," I replied honestly, "I can't talk now. She's asleep and it's disrespectful to talk about her when she can't listen."

"That's fair, have you told Greg?"

"Not yet, tell him for me."

"Sure." He said and then he hesitated before adding, "She'll be fine."

"I know she will."

I hung up and stared at her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful and at ease. I stroked her cheek softly and she cuddled into me further. "I love you."I whispered

"Well isn't that sentimental?"