Just One of the Guys
Fourteen

Knox

I can't sit here, watching a movie, pretending that everything is fine when I am falling apart on the inside, not knowing if she's okay or not.

*I am such a bloody fucking wanker!*

"I can't do this," I mutter to myself before getting up and exiting the apartment as quickly as I can.

Even though we have a game in a few hours, and I shouldn't exert myself, saving it for later, I can't. I have too much nervous energy coursing through me.

I duck into my apartment, change into some athletic pants and a hoodie, put my shoes back on and head out the door, hoping that a run will clear my head.

I don't run the trails out back behind the school, I can't bring myself to go back there. Instead, I head across the lot. Once I get inside the workout room, I jump on a treadmill and run until the nervous energy isn't so consuming. "What the hell are you doing?" a voice calls out from behind me.

I turn, finding Kamden, one of my teammates standing behind me, wearing a pair of swim trunks with a towel tossed over his shoulder.

"Just save it," I growl, not needing a lecture at the moment. "I know I shouldn't be in here running but I had to, okay?"

"Whatever man, it's your funeral when you suck ass at the game tonight," he says as he saunters towards the whirlpool that we're supposed to use to help loosen tight muscles.

"I'll be fine, *Mom*. Don't worry," I tell him.

In all reality, it was stupid of me to exert as much energy as I did. I'm already feeling fatigue in my muscles, but I needed it.

Covered in sweat and likely smelling like the bottom of a gym bag, I jump in the shower. As the warm water cascades over the back of my head, down my neck and shoulders, it washes away all evidence of my stupidity, along with the reason behind the stupidity-even if temporarily.

Once I'm all washed up and clean, I shut the shower off, get dressed and head back out of the gym and into the bitter cold Connecticut air, then head toward my apartment.

When I step through the doorway, Colt is sitting on the couch, seemingly waiting for me. "Want to talk about it?" he asks as soon as the door shuts behind me.

"Nope," I say, not in the mood.

Walking to my room, I dump off my gym bag, throw on some clean joggers and a sweater, and head back out. "I'm gonna grab a bite before we have to be at the gym for the game. You wanna come with?" "Sure," he says, shrugging but standing up and following me out the door.

Before I know it, Colt and I are leaving the cafeteria to head to the gym for pregame warm-ups. Unfortunately, my head is not in it tonight, and I can already tell that I'm going to be no good to the team.

"Relax, clear your head and get in the zone. Ball has always been your escape, let it be that for you now to draw you out from whatever's got you stuck in your head," Colt says as he stops next to me before heading out onto the court with the rest of the team.

*Shit!*

*He's right.*

*This is my escape and I'm not going to let what's going on change that.*

*Nothing ever has before.*

With a new resolve, I step out onto the court, ready to play one of the best games of my life.

*It wasn't the best game of my life, not by a long shot.* Even with my pep talk, I still didn't play my best out on the court, but I didn't completely suck ass either. Gotta look at the bright side.

I kept looking out into the crowd, hoping that I would see her, but I never did. I did keep getting that weird feeling that someone was watching me, but there was a whole gymnasium full of people who were watching me, along with the rest of the guys. I tried to shrug it off as paranoia, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

Gentry and Corbin came and watched, although about halfway through the game, I guess Corbin left because I never saw him come back once we returned to the court after halftime.

"Hey, man," Gentry greets, looking around as if he's searching for someone. I look around too, still holding out hope that I may see Averi. "What happened out there tonight?" he asks when he finally looks back at me again.

"My head just wasn't in it tonight," I say, shrugging. No longer wanting to talk about it, I changed the subject. "Where did Corbin go?"

"I guess back to his place. At halftime he left to go to the concession stand but he never came back, texted saying he had to leave. It was weird," Gentry remarks, glancing around again as he speaks.

"Who are you looking for?" I ask, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as a shiver rakes down my spine.

"I don't know. You ever get that feeling that someone's watching you or something?" he mutters, then shaking his head, continues, "Or maybe I'm just losing it."

"No, you're not losing it. I've felt it too. I thought I was just being paranoid."

Readjusting my gym bag on my shoulder, I tilt my head towards the door. "Let's get out of here."

"You don't want to wait for the rest of the guys?" he asks, a perplexed look crossing his face.

*No, I don't. I want to get the heck out of here and away from whatever, or whoever, is watching.*

"Nah, they'll be fine. They know their way back," I say instead as I begin walking towards the doors leading out into the cold night air.

"Cool, I guess. I'm gonna check in on Corbin I think anyway. He's been acting kind of odd recently."

*Just recently? The dude's just straight up fucking weird and has been since the day he showed up here.* I don't voice my thoughts out loud though, since he and Gentry seem to be pretty close. I wouldn't want to risk putting a strain on me and Gentry's friendship.

As soon as we step outside of the gym, the weird feeling intensifies, causing me to panic slightly. "Let's hurry, it's bloody cold out here."

We rush across the lot towards the dorms, our breath causing fog clouds in the air around us.

"It's cold as balls out here!" Gentry complains just as we reach the dormitory door.

"Yeah, mate. You'd think you'd be used to winter in Connecticut by now," I tease, rubbing my hands together to try to thaw them out a bit. "Ugh, this isn't winter! This is like being in the damn arctic!" he says, laughing as if Mother Nature is a joke.

"Not quite," I tell him.

As we make our way towards Corbin's door, Gentry tilts his head that he's going to make sure that he's okay. I figure I might as well stay, so I stand behind him as he knocks on Corbin's door, and wait for him to answer. When he doesn't, Gentry knocks again. "Corbin, man open up. You okay?"

Still no answer.

He pulls out his phone next and tries calling him, shaking his head when he still doesn't answer.

"Wonder what's up with him?" He says, as we give up and make our way to my place instead.

"No clue, man," I say in return to his question.

Walking into my and Colt's apartment, I get that feeling of being watched again and it's really beginning to freak me the hell out.

"What's your plans for this weekend?" he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't know, really. I was going to try to do something with Averi, maybe take her out but...I don't know, mate..."

I still owe her a date. I've been planning it out, wanting to make it special. But now, she's clearly not talking to me. I guess that date's a bust.

"How's *that* going?" Gentry asks, giving me a sideways look. He knows being interested in just one girl for even this length of time is out of the norm for me.

"Honestly, no one has ever held my interest for this long before. She's different, beautiful. She's bloody amazing."

I try to put into words how incredible she is, but I can't figure out a description that would actually do her justice.

"But I'm pretty sure I've fucked any chance of having something between us."

"Why do you think that?" Gentry asks as he sits down on the couch, kicking his foot up on the couch and then putting it back down when I glare at the offending appendage for being on the coffee table; *where we sometimes eat food*. "Honestly, I'm not really even sure." Running my hands over my face, I explain everything to him just as I had Colt and he comes to the same conclusion that Colt had. It was a freaking misunderstand. Only, I can't get her to fucking talk to me so that I can explain that to her.