Love and Chaos Series
The Alpha King’s Ugly Bride Chapter 46

As soon as Xavier departed from Mia's study, he returned to his chambers and picked out a long black hood before leaving the Palace. It was barely dark outside, and this wasn't his usual routine when he visited Zara, but he needed to see her. He made the decision and every nerve in his body agreed to it.

The last time he visited Zara, they shared so many intimate moments, yet something felt missing. He couldn't wrap his hands around what it was, and when he got ready to leave, the kiss of her lips didn't make him want to stay. Something had been happening to him, something insane, and it was the disappearance of the feelings he once had for his lover.

A few months ago, the echoes of her name would send him wild and the thought of Zara's fairness and body would send chills through him, but that was no longer the case. He didn't know if she felt the change as well, but if she did, she said nothing about it. At first, he didn't think it had anything to do with his wife, but today made him realise that it did.

Someone else was in his life, and she was making him feel things only Zara would. The feelings have been for a while now, intense, intoxicating and confusing. He should have known better, but he didn't.

The attraction he felt towards his wife had intensified. It was driving him crazy and pushing him to points he shouldn't reach. He couldn't stop himself, though. He had crossed a line today.

The thought of her was one thing, but acting on those thoughts was wrong.

His eyes fluttered and the memories of the kiss they shared returned. He kissed Mia. It felt good, and he liked it. She kissed him too, and it took all his strength to pull away from her. The images of her gasping for air when they pulled apart sent volts of energies surging through him.

"Fuck!" he gasped, his eyes fluttering as he steadied his ragged breath.

He was supposed to own his queen, play and do with her as he pleased. How did she turn this game around?

Once upon a time, he didn't even like her.

"People change feelings grow and that's how bonds are made." the inner voice in his head spoke up.

"Shut the fuck up!" he snapped out irritably, making the carriage rider slow down.

"My king?" the rider called out, curious if he had spoken to him.

"Keep going!" he commanded.

He was going insane with the thoughts, images and voices in his head and he needed saving. Zara would save him, like always. What he had with her was real, intense, and that couldn't compare to what he felt for his wife.

With Zara, there were so many things to like. She was spontaneous, fair, elegant, and did everything he loved. Mia was the opposite. She had a mind of her own, pushed all his buttons and brought out the fury in him. How the hell was he drawn to that?

He wanted to feel the spark he once felt for Zara, the fire that burnt in his soul whenever he had stayed away for so long. He needed a rude awakening and he hope to get something.

The sound of Mia's laughter echoed in his head and it made him tremble in response, his heart picking up a beat.

He slam his hand to his temple, his wolf growled and almost surged to the surface. "Get a f*****g grip on yourself!" he snapped irritably.

The last thing he needed was an attachment to the queen. He needed to get her out of his head.

Mia may be his wife, but she was everything he wasn't, a good person. That was also who she should be with. He wasn't good, and neither did he plan on becoming good, and that made them an uneven match. All this, and he still wanted her.

She wasn't the first girl he had kissed since meeting Zara, nor was she the first he'd been with. Yet he couldn't erase the image of her from his head.

His heart stung a little, and he knew what the feeling was. He felt guilty for the much desire he felt for Mia, despite having Zara. He'd never felt guilty before, but he was now, and it sucked.

He couldn't do this, he couldn't do that, he had to pick a side and stand by it. Zara had always been by his side against all odds, but the uncertainty he felt about them now made him want to reconsider.

Perhaps he needed to set himself free. He might never give her what she wants, what he once promised, a few things had changed. He was ashamed to admit it, but it was the truth. She deserved better. And he hoped to apologise for what he'd done and see what happens next.

The carriage came to a stop right before Zara's large mansion, and he raced out of it and over to the door. He knocked on the door softly and waited, but he got no response from inside like he used to. He knocked again, and again, he got silence in return. "Zara?" He called out and again nothing. He almost believed she had left when his ears caught noises that sounded like giggling coming from inside.

Zara was home. Perhaps she was busy, or mad at him for staying away for so long and now was ignoring him. He needed to talk to her; he needed to confess everything to her. Opening up and telling her the truth would be difficult, but she was his all, and so it should be easy.

He twisted the lock, and the door opened to him and, dragging a deep breath; he entered and raced up the stairs where he was certain the noises came from.

The closer he got, the more uncertain he became about the reason behind her cheerfulness. She seemed to have company, but what company would she have in her chambers? Unwilling to torture himself with the curiosity anymore, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

There came a panic squeal from the room at the opening of the door. Xavier's eyes caught Zara naked on the bed, startled by his sudden appearance in the room and clenching on the bed sheet covering her up. Beside her was a man, a much older man, naked as well. The older man knew who he was because his hands immediately trembled with fear of what was coming.

Xavier's face paled at the sight, and both hurt and anger flashed in his emerald eyes. He gritted his teeth. In times like this, he usually gave in to his anger. He'd usually rip someone's throat or heart out to feel better, but he didn't even want to at this stage. He needed clarity more than ever. That might help his aching heart. "Why?"

A tear slid down her face. But he didn't let that fool him, not anymore.

Her gaze dropped in shame. "I couldn't wait anymore. You may not see it, but you're smitten by your queen, and I can't sit back and trust to wait for you anymore."

"This has nothing to do with the queen. She isn't the one in bed with another. You are!"

He had shown up unannounced, which was unusual because he always sends words and inform her of his presence. This was the one time he didn't, and he found her with another man. It made him believe today wasn't the first time, or even the second. He balled his hands into a fist, "How long has this been going on? And if you as much as lie to me, I will rip your heart out!" he sneered the last part, meaning every word.

She swallowed, terrified by his threats and not daring to look up at him. "A few months now."

He gasps in disbelief.

"I was going to tell you the truth," she continued, "but I never got the right time to."

"I came here a few weeks ago. Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"The last time you came here was ten weeks ago."

That meant he hadn't been here in over two months. That was truly a long time, but it still wasn't an excuse for what she did.

He had been searching for ways out of his marriage just to get them together and she was out here whoring herself to the highest bidder. He had fallen into the mess of being married because four men had called her a whore and he punished them.

He punished them because they had tagged her with the wrong name, and a hurtful name. He thought they had done so because they knew she was his mistress, but now it made sense. They called her a whore because they knew who she was. Apparently, everyone knew who she was except him. Taking the life of those men brought down the punishment of marriage on him, and here they were.

"I thought we had something special. I thought it was us against everyone, us against the entire f*****g world?!"

"I am sorry, Xavier, but this is who I am, who I was before you came and swept me in with your promise of paradise."

He felt a little betrayed, not because she was with another man, but because of the much joy in her laughter before he interrupted. It seemed the same as the joy she had whenever he was around, and it made him wonder. Was it ever real to her? At what point was she faking it?

He couldn't trust her. She had played him for so long.

"Did you ever really love me?"

Her lips trembled, and she couldn't look up at him.

"Speak!" he thundered, and she, along with the old man on the bed, flinched. "You will speak and you will tell the truth." He compelled her to speak. He could have done this many years ago, used his ability to make her tell the truth, but he loved her and believed everything she told him.

"I loved the way you made me feel and the way you always looked at me. I loved the way you touch and held me in your arms."

"But you never loved me." somehow this hurt more than he thought possible.

It hurt, and he needed to rid himself of her betrayal. He needed to turn his pain into anger, just like he always had. It always did more harm than good, but he couldn't take the pain.

"Please don't hurt me." Zara panicked, seeing his glowing eyes as he stepped towards the bed.

"I am sorry," he said through gritted teeth.