One More Chance
Chapter 48: I never said that I love you!

~~Here I am, alone and I don't understand exactly how it all began, the dreams just walked away. I'm holding on when all but the passion's gone. And FROM THE START, maybe I WAS TRYIN' TOO HARD, it's crazy 'coz it's BREAKIN' MY HEART. Oh, it's just too much,

taking

all the WHOLE WORLD ALL BY MYSELF~~~

-Kyla Alvarez-

And it's too late to go back as he has already seen me, so I have no choice but to continue my steps towards the kitchen. I mentally scolded myself for my wrong decision of going downstairs.

-'Haist! Why am I an expert when it comes to wrong timing?'-

Little did I know that the same night as my daughter's birthday, it would also be the end of my dreams.

"Can we talk?"

"Huh! Jesus!" I gasped in shock when suddenly he appeared in front of me. Thank goodness the glass didn't slip into my hand.

"I'm sorry, but can we talk, Samantha?"

I sighed and returned to my previous job of ignoring him.

I walked past him but he followed me until I reached the living room.

"Samantha, are you avoiding me?"

But I pretended to be deaf and continued walking... but this time he grabbed me by the elbow.

"Didn't you hear I was asking you?"

I simply removed his hand and was about to take a step, but he stood in front of me, completely blocking my way up the stairs.

"Why are you ignoring me?"

"Tss!" Blowing an air, I smiled wryly at him. "Get out of my way."

"Samantha---"

"What do you want?"

"Just answer my question, for God's sake! And don't answer me with another question!"

I couldn't help but laugh sarcastically.

"Why don't you just answer your question? And what is this? It seemed like the world has changed. Tell me, how does it feel when you ask for something and you don't get the right answer? It's frustrating, right? So at least now you know how it feels." "Why are you doing this? Was it because I didn't help you prepare for the party or because I came late earlier?"

I gripped the glass tightly and took a deep breath. He really had the audacity to ask me those questions.

"Do you want to know the answer? Actually, I don't know! I don't know why am I like this and what's going on with me! Come on, why don't you tell me?"

I saw the hint of confusion that came across his eyes.

"Can we just talk---"

"Wow! The word is 'talk'!"

I laughed in a sarcastic way. I wish I didn't have a glass in my hand because I swear, I would have clapped my hands.

"As I remembered, it was I who's asking you the same question last time... 'Can we talk? Luke, can we talk?'... but now it's suddenly reversed. It's so amazing, isn't it?" I sneered. "Okay, fine, let's talk, since you're the one who follows me behind and asks me to talk to you, so let's talk!"

"Sam---"

"I guess you really have a lot of time to talk to me, so let's start talking and have a good conversation!"

He gritted his teeth.

"So who do you want to start, me or you? Oh, well, let's cut the crap and let me ask you first! Did you really go to Thailand the first time you told me you had an Asian meeting there?"

"Of course! I told you I had a business meeting with our Asian clients in Bangkok! You can ask my dad about it if you want!" He answered, his eyebrows almost forming a straight line.

"Ohh... okay!" I shrugged, but deep inside, my blood started to boil and merely reached the boiling point. "How about the second time---"

"Why are you asking about that---"

"Let me finish my question, I'm not yet done, Luke Marcus Williams!" I whispered-yelled, gritting my teeth.

He was shocked by my outburst, so I took it as an opportunity to continue what I was going to ask.

"How about the second time you told me you had to go back there? Did you really go out of the country and attend your meetings in Bangkok or did you just fucking stayed at the Marriott Marquis hotel for the past week with your fucking mistress?" "What the hell are you talking---"

"Don't you dare ask me that fucking line, Luke, because it had already been scratched and used by almost all the actors in famas!" I screamed, pointing him on the face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He immediately turned to go back to the minibar and I was left laughing and preventing my tears to fall down at the same time.

I followed him and grabbed his jacket.

"Really? You don't know what I'm talking about?" I stood in front of him, so he could no longer avoid me. "Let me ask you again, did you really go to Bangkok last week?" Deep inside me, I was just waiting for him to lie and say yes... and he did.

"Yes! I went to Bangkok---"

He didn't get the chance to continue what he was about to say as I had already given him a stinging slap on his face.

"Liar! You are a fucking liar!"

He looked at me with a mixture of shock and anger written in his eyes.

"Tss! What do you think of me, a first-grade student who would easily believe with your lies, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about and How did you know about that?"

"I saw you! I fucking saw you and your ex-girlfriend, Cherry kissing at the Marriott Marquis hotel bar! You were like a damned magnet, inseparable! You're so sweet with each other as if you don't care about the world and what people might tell you!" He remained looking at me but didn't utter a word.

"Come on! Why don't you deny it this time, huh?" I wiped the tears the slipped down my cheek. "You want proof, don't you? So now I'm telling you the proof I got when I went there! What is it with her that you couldn't see with me? What is it that she has that I don't have?" When I got no response, I started hitting him on the chest.

"Tell me, why did you do this to me? Why do you have to cheat? Am I not enough? Are we not enough? I thought we're fine, a family, a couple."

"Samantha!" He tried to avoid my hands that continued hitting him until he grabbed them.

"I gave you almost everything, Luke, my life and everything! I sacrificed my studies just for you, just to take care of your daughter! I stayed with you and I gave you the four years of my life serving you, loving you---"

"I didn't ask you to do it all for me!"

"What? What did you say?" I gulped in shock. "Do you still love her?"

But he didn't answer my question. Silence means yes.

"The answer is yes, isn't it? So you're still not over with her? After all these years, you still haven't forgotten her?"

Still, I didn't hear any word from him.

"Why don't you answer my question? Do you still love her---"

"Yes! I still love her! What else do you want to ask me?"

-'huh'- My mouth hung open and my tears began to flow freely on my face.

"I still love her and I realized that I haven't stopped loving her! Now, have I already answered your questions?"

Sobs were now escaping my throat, but there were still questions left that I need to ask him...

"If you still love her, then what about me? Didn't you ever learn to love me? If you said you didn't stop loving her, then where am I--- what am I to you in those times when we were in the resort? What's the meaning of those sweet gestures you that you showed me, the care, those kisses and the nights we shared? Were you just pretending then, because that's not what I felt? Your touch and care seemed to me that you love me, that you also love me."

When he remained silent, I grabbed his face desperately to kiss him, but he stopped me.

"Samantha stopped it!" He screamed, removing my hands away, but I didn't stop.

"Please, Luke, tell me? Tell me you love me and not her. Tell me you're choosing me over her, you're choosing your family."

"Samantha, I said stop it!"

"Why? Do you feel disgusted now by my kiss because you have her back again? Why, Luke, answer me? What's wrong with me, why can't you love me?"

I tried to touch him again but this time he pushed me, but not enough to lose my balance.

"Goddamned it!"

I looked at him, with my face full of tears.

"You want to know the truth? Well, I'll give you the truth, I don't love you."

"No, Luke---"

"You have been the most demanding woman I've ever met! Yes, I admit, I've tried to be the husband you want me to be. I've tried as much as I can to provide you with the things you need, the attention, the care and time, but Sam..." I don't know if I can still bear the next word he was going to say.

"... that's all I can give."

"That's why you cheated?" Anger began to rise in me again. "I thought you said you love this family?"

"Yes, I said I love this family, but I never said that I love you!"

And that's it! The most painful, stabbing, strength-taking and heartbreaking words... lines... that I have ever heard in my life.

Those words cut like a knife to my already bleeding heart. It was like salt poured into my already wounded soul and I don't really know where I got the strength to remain standing in front of him and even when he left me motionless in the living room.

~~~Where do broken hearts go? Can their find their way home back to the open arms of the love that's waiting there? And if somebody loves you, won't they always love you?~~~

Phenomenal rendition of:

-Eric Santos-

Wish 107.5 (YouTube)