One More Chance
Chapter 79: You lost me

~~~Now I know you're sorry. And we were sweet, but you chose lust when you deceived me. And you'll regret it, but it's too late. How can I ever trust you again? I feel like our world's been infected, and somehow you left me neglected. We've found our life's been changed. Oh, babe, you lost me~~~

-Christina Aguilera-

My heart pounded faster the moment I stepped out of the kitchen and even when I reached my room. It was an intense conversation that I never expected nor even thought would happen this morning.

"Ahh!" I sighed loudly, still catching my breath as I closed the door behind me. Brushing my hair, I walked over to the bed and slumped my body, facing the ceiling. I don't know but it felt like all my energy was drained. "I just did the right thing," I muttered, closing my eyes. I kept repeating those words until I felt my heart calm down inside my ribcage.

I still have a lot of things to tell him but only those words came out of my mouth. And seconds later, a bitter smile curled against my lips as I remembered the look on his face when he told me he was sorry for letting me go. Sorry... the word he refused to give me, which I swear, if I just heard it four years ago, I'm pretty sure I would have jumped on the floor and ran into his arms or maybe I wouldn't have waited for his next words and screamed in excitement. I would also have screamed how much I loved him. But earlier was different.

I couldn't explain exactly how I felt when he looked at me and asked for forgiveness. It seemed like all the pain I felt four years ago came back and taunted me again at that moment.

-'Yes, I said I love this family, but I never said I love you...'-

Those were the exact words I heard from him. He has no idea how those words affected me. It broke my heart and my sanity, but somehow it made me realized the truth.

Letting out a deep sigh, I opened my eyes and blinked several times, trying to ward off the tears that suddenly formed around them.

I couldn't easily give him the forgiveness he was asking me for. Even though I told him I can casually talk to him, but that's just it. My heart suffered too much for those years with him and it's not easy to forgive.

I know its impossible to avoid him as he is my daughter's father and Cali needs both of her parents, so even if I want to lock myself in my room every time he visits her, I can't. We need to be on our daughter's side.

But now that I've finally shown him his place, maybe now I can start acting normally. I already have David and he has Cherry, so there's no reason for me to feel awkward

when he's here.

LUKE'S POV:

I sighed as I took off my eyeglasses and leaned against my seat. I can't focus on the report that has been stuck on my computer screen for almost 30 minutes as my mind was still drifting on what happened this morning when I get Cali's phone. Sam's words still linger in my head and I admit, I was stunned and hurt at the same time when she thanked me for letting her go.

She was thanking me for letting her go because she said that's when she found herself again, she learned a lot of things, she met her boyfriend and she finally got over her feelings for me, in which I don't know if I should be glad about it. Because honestly, I felt the opposite when she left me... when I didn't do anything to stop her and when she left with our daughter. I kept asking myself, 'what have I done? how did I lose someone like her? But every time I remembered how she stood next to me, how she did her best for me to notice her, I also asked myself 'what have I done to deserve someone like her?

I know I've caused her so much pain and I don't know how to start to ask her forgiveness. I was a jerk to her and didn't treat her well, so I understand if she couldn't forgive me that easily. Well, I would do the same if I happened to be in her situation and if I were the one feeling the pain and disappointments I gave her four years ago.

I just don't know why I never see her worth. I just realized it when she already left me... when she's gone and I couldn't do anything to take her back because at that time, even Dale, my best friend, wouldn't have wanted to tell me where to find her sister. My parents-in-law talked to me when she left and stated their conditions about our daughter's custody and I couldn't say a word because it's all my fault.

And back then, no matter what remorse I do, even if I blamed myself and ran after her, I knew I couldn't change the fact that I hurt her, I disappointed her, I cheated on her.

It took me almost a year to get their trusts back, especially Dale's. Our friendship almost ended because of what I did to her sister. I know he always annoys her, but his love for her sister shows when she's in trouble. So when he found out what happened, he instantly ran to my office, grabbed me by the collar and punched me hard as he yelled in my face. He even pushed me to the nearest wall and choked me that I almost lost my breath. But I didn't do anything. I didn't fight back. I just accepted all the punches he gave me, even those words I heard from him for the first time.

-I'm gonna fucking kill you, bastard! What did you do to my sister? I already talked to you about it! I told you if you can't return her feelings then at least respect her and be a man to your kid, but you hurt her! I'm going to kill you!'- he continued to scream. His eyes had turned red from anger.

-'I'm sorry, dude.'- The only line that came out of my lips.

At that moment, even though I had no idea if he was going to leave me breathless in my office, I remained on my spot and kept getting punched from his solid fists.

-'Sorry? You're a motherfucker bastard, Luke Marcuz Williams! Don't tell me you're fucking sorry because I'm not the one you hurt and betrayed! I thought we were best friends, we considered ourselves a family and we were brothers, but I was wrong! From now on, let's cut this bullshit friendship and everything that connects us!"

I sighed again and closed my eyes. There have been a lot of things that have changed over the past four years and one of them has been my feelings for Cherry. Well, she has changed too. When I saw her again in Bangkok, I thought I still had my old feelings for her, but as time went by, while all the things I had in mind were all about her, I didn't know and I didn't even have a single idea that what I felt for her wasn't love anymore.

It was all for satisfaction. Since I was already married, I wanted to know what my life would be like if Cherry was the one I married and not Sam. I wanted to continue what we had then that was suddenly stopped because Sam got pregnant. And while I was doing those things, it didn't cross my mind that I was already losing my wife... the mother of my child and the woman who was never afraid to show me her feelings.

And it all became clear to me when she left. It was only then that I realized how stupid I was, how fool I was that I simply let go of the woman who stayed beside me, loved me and accepted me for who I was or maybe for what I would be.

After letting out another loud sigh, I opened my eyes only to be surprised by Patrick's frowning figure in front of my desk.

"Oh, fucking shit!" I almost fell out of my seat but he only chuckled at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, taking my glasses and putting it back to my eyes.

"Ohh... looks like my boss is in trouble, huh?" he raised an eyebrow. Imagine a straight guy with a nice body figure always raising an eyebrow---it's Patrick.

"Tss! What are you talking about?" I frowned, hoping he would bite that. "You didn't answer my question. How long have you been sitting there?" I asked, trying again to read all the bullshit that was written on the screen.

"Well, I'm here to remind you of your scheduled meeting with our new client regarding their new skincare products, and to answer your second question, I think it's been ten minutes since I walked into your office." "Why didn't you knock?"

"Ohh, trust me, I did! It's just that your mind was too busy thinking of someone who isn't here and isn't thinking you back." and he laughed hilariously.