One More Chance
Chapter 80: I want my family back

~~~Too blind to realize I was chasing a fantasy and hurting the one who'd never hurt me. I've been searching for one I've already found. This time I know it's real, God only knows I've been so lonely without you. Give me the chance to heal, oh, please take me back, can't go on living without your love~~~ -Norman Saleet-

"What the hell are you talking about and where did you get that idea?" I glanced at him, but instead of being afraid of my serious reaction, he did the opposite. His laugh grew louder as he shook his head.

"Haist! I wasn't born yesterday, Luke. You can fool everyone here in the office, but not me. I know who's on your mind lately, boss." He said, emphasizing the last word. "Anyway, how do you feel right now after seeing your ex-wife? Knowing that she has already moved on from you?" He asked, leaning against his seat. His face became serious as he crossed his hands over his chest.

Hearing his last question took me out the stage for a moment. How should I answer that question? How would I hide the truth and lie in front of my assistant and a friend who had known me for almost five years?

"Have you already talked to her?"

"Yes." I nodded and took a deep, frustrated sigh afterwards.

Patrick knew what happened between me and Sam. It's not that he witnessed them all, but I told him everything. Other than Dale, he appeared to be my second best friend as my friendship with Dale seemed to have changed when he found out what I had done. "She thanked me for everything... for what I did to her."

"What? W-What do you mean by she thanked you? Shouldn't she hate you for ruining your marriage and family?" He suddenly straightened his seat as he got confused about what I was saying.

"She told me she has to thank me for letting her go as she found David, the person who loved and appreciated her. He showed her the things I should have done before but---" but he interrupted me.

"But you closed your heart and chose to lock the door when she was knocking and begging for you to love her, am I right?"

But instead of answering him, I got up and walked to the glass window where the view of the San Francisco skyline came first before my eyes.

"I wasn't expecting to hear those words from her, Patrick. I mean, I-I wasn't ready to see that look in her eyes while she was talking to me, while she was saying thank you for hurting her and for letting her go. There was a smile that never left her lips, but her eyes showed differently."

"Why? What did you notice in her eyes?"

He followed me and stood next to where I was.

"There was a glimmer of anger and disappointment in them."

"Well..." I heard him sigh before I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Can you blame her?"

And again, I answered his question with a sigh.

"If you put yourself in her situation or if you're the one who experienced the pain she went through, what do you think you would feel if you saw the person who never treated you well, who has caged you in a dark and empty room for four years and now suddenly asking for your forgiveness? Would you feel the same? Would you easily forgive that person?"

A few moments of silence passed as I remembered everything I had done to her.

"Of course, I would feel the same and..." I stopped. I suddenly lost my words.

"And I'm sure you will never forgive her." I glanced at him, frowning, but he gave me a smirk.

"Based on the side of the story you told me, she's a spoiled brat woman who can get anything she wants, but eventually, you've discovered that she's different from the woman you thought you had in your mind. Then what happened? If you already found out she wasn't that kind of woman, why didn't you learn to love her? And the big question is that, why the hell did you cheat?"

"Wait, are you my assistant or are you my conscience?"

"Sorry, I happened to be both." This time, he gave me a throaty laugh that also made me laugh. "But you haven't answered any of my questions yet."

"It's not that I never learned to love her, Patrick." I shook my head and decided to go back to my seat in which, of course, he followed me again.

"Really? So, you mean you loved her, but you cheated on her because you're such a dumbass---cheater---jerk and asshole----" "Patrick!"

"What I mean to say is that it was back then and those were just based on what you told me." He shrugged. "If you're telling me you loved her, then why did you cheat in the first place and why didn't you apologize at that time instead of letting her go?" "Because I was stupid back then not to realize what I had. I got confused about what I feel for her and Cherry until it became too late to realize that I was letting go of the wrong woman. The only woman who thought me the word patience and the one who was never afraid to love me and stayed beside me."

"Okay, as you say so." He shrugged again, nodding. "But why did you wait another four years before asking her forgiveness? What did it take you so long to realize your feelings for her?"

"I was trapped between my dreams and the truth that I have never made her feel happy when she's with me. I have never treated her right, I have never given her even the simplest things that a wife asked for her husband... time, acceptance, forgiveness and love. I was too selfish not to think about her feelings. I was blinded by anger and disappointment and I forgot I had a family."

"And what made you suddenly decide to go after her?"

"Because now I want to make things right. I want to make up for all the mistakes I've made before."

"Ohh... I don't know what to say, dude. I think I would just pray for you to get her forgiveness first because I'm telling you, there's a lot of effort you have to put in than plan of yours. But anyway, what else did you tell her, except for apologizing?"

"What would I suppose to tell her except for apologizing? I know I can't tell her how I feel yet, because I don't want to surprise her either."

"But what about the truth! That she's still your---"

"It's not the right time, Patrick. As you said, I still need to work hard to earn her forgiveness and I don't think it would help. She would hate me if she happens to know the truth."

"If that so, are you going to hide it from her? Oh, dude, you know you can't hide it forever."

"I know, but I believe there's a right time for everything."

"Alright, but what about the bar incident 8 years ago?" I glanced at him and was about to open my mouth, but he spoke again. "Are you also going to hide what really happened that night? That you discovered that there was a hidden camera in that room and that all that happened was recorded by the bartender?"

"I think she doesn't need to know about it---"

"No, Luke, she has every right to know what happened because in case you forgot, she suffered a lot because of your wrong assumption. You never let her explain and you judged her based on what you thought about her."

"I know, but I don't know where to find the strength to tell her those things and I don't even know if she will forgive me if she finds out these things."

A few moments later, we were enveloped by a deafening silence.

"What are your plans now? You said she already has a boyfriend and she's happy with him."

"I don't know, but I'll start everything by asking for her forgiveness and earning her trust. I will work hard to get her feelings back for me back again and---"

I was interrupted when he laughed.

"What?" I asked him with a frown..

"You will what---work hard to get her feelings back again?" He asked between his laugh. "Luke Marcuz Williams, are you dreaming or are you dreaming?" "It's just the same, dumbass!"

"It doesn't matter! Tell me, when do you want me to wake you up---ouch!" He screamed when I threw my pencil eraser at him and it landed on his forehead.

"Is there something funny in what I said?" I asked, seriously but it made him laugh even more.

"Nope. Nothing." He shook his head. "It's just that everything you said was kinda funny. Come to think of it, dude, you want her feelings for you to come back and then what will happen next?" "What do you mean?"

"The exact words came out of your mouth, dude, that she already has a boyfriend and she's happy with him, besides, you have Cherry and you still live on the same roof."

"You're wrong." He frowned. "It's been two weeks since I sell my condo and we're no longer living together."