Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos
194. Olivia - Choices I

It is not strange for me to see shit while I am high as fuck but this is the first time I'm hallucinating about four masked women armed to the teeth. Five actually. And the funny part is that they saved me from Jason. Or so they say. Like I needed saving. I was perfectly fine going with Jason and slipping back into the life I am used to. To being fucked by countless men and drugged and... beaten by Jason whenever he feels like it. It's not very different from what Tyson and Rueben did t me, minus the drugs, but at least I understand their anger. But Jason? He hates me because he wants to. Because he has been a bully all his life.

I am wearing a warm coat I don't recognize and I bury my face in the fur around the collar.

"It's faux fur," one of the women tells me. She is the only one not wearing a coat. Maybe the one I have belongs to her. "We also have blankets if you want one."

I remain quiet because what good will it do to talk to a hallucination? At least I am not seeing Camila or other people from the past.

“Do you want water or food?” another asks me and I shrug.

My hallucinations usually force me to relive nightmares I want to forget, but this one doesn't seem that bad. Four masked women standing in front of the car I'm sitting in. The fifth one is surveying the surroundings. “This is not real so it doesn't matter if I eat or not,” I finally decide to speak. “Just a hallucination.”

After a small hesitation, the one without a coat says, “This is real. The drug used on you was a tranquilizer, so you are not high. We already got it out of your system.”

I blink. If I am not high, then... where is Jason? "Who are you?"

"I am Wasp," the one without a coat says, "and" pointing at the other women, she adds, "Beetle, Cricket, and Mantis. The one over there is Moth."

"Those are rather..... peculiar names. Almost as if you were...."

I don't finish my thought, but understanding what I mean, Wasp says, “Yeah, we are.”

"Oh," I say. Silence falls around us and not knowing what else to say, I ask, "Where's my brother?"

Beetle snorts. "He should be on his way to the cemetery, but Wasp is a better person than me."

"You killed him?" I blurt out. I am not sure if I should feel relieved or not. Relieved, I decide in the end.

"He is alive," Wasp lets me know. Disappointment fills me. I don't know why I even bother, I will never be free of Jason. "We don't have much time, but I have an important question to ask-do you want to come with us or go back to the men you are bonded with?"

Men, as in plural? Could it be that Jasper anchored his demon to me? Then why do I only feel connected to Ansel? "How do you know I am bonded?" I ask Wasp. "Hellstars have powers. Mine allows me to see bonds," Wasp explains.

When Camila and I started researching hellstars, we never found anything to indicate they have powers. I only know they can be soulmates to the demons or angels most compatible with them. They can bond with anyone but only the bond with her soulmates is special. How is something I didn't get to learn.

Normal women like me can be with Lords or Dukes, even if I am not a hellstar, but the bond between us is different than the one from soulmates. Camila and I were learning about this part when...everything came crashing down. "Can you see the ones I am bonded with?"

I don't know why I am asking this since it is obvious Jasper and Ansel tied themselves to me. But then Wasp replies and leaves me speechless.

"One bond is old, several years or more, while the other one is fresh from a day or two ago."

*One bond is old.*

My ears ring.

I breathe through my mouth.

I feel like drowning.

My heart drums in my chest.

*One bond is old.*

Did I bond with *him*? But... how?

My vision tunnels.

I don't want to be bonded to *him.*

"Can you break it? Or what must I do to break it?" I want to know.

The masks on their faces prevent me from seeing their facial expressions but their body language lets me know they are shocked by my question. "Why would you want to do that?" Cricket asks.

I shake my head. "Whatever was between me and him is tainted now. There is so much hate and pain between us, things will never be the same."

Wasp squats in front of me and takes my hand into hers. “I have seen firsthand how broken bonds affect both men and women. Especially the women. Breaking a new bond hurts like hell, but one as old as yours? It can kill you.” For a moment, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. “I don't care. I have been living on borrowed time anyway. Death will bring me the peace I crave so much."

Beetle shifts her weight from one leg to another. "You are the first one to say such things."

"I am a...murderer. And I already lost the person I loved the most. There is nothing left in this world for me," I tell them the truth.

"Olivia," Wasp says in a gentle voice, “I understand your pain. I did many things I am not proud of. People got hurt because of me and I kept quiet. But I am trying to do better, to be better. There is a Blight..... an army of Nephilim trying to find a way to enter our world and destroy it. My sisters and I are trying to find a way to unite the Dukes and the Lords so that when the Blight gets here, we will stand united in front of it. Your old bond, despite everything that has happened to you held strong. It still holds strong. It has to mean something. Live to find out why."