Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos
311. Rueben - Unlovable II

I finish with the first stiletto and then switch her left foot for her right one. "You should have put on a green dress to match my nails." Olivia inhaled deeply. "I don't have a...." Her eyes narrow. "Was that a...joke?"

After I finish tying the laces, I put my palm on the inside of her leg and slowly inch it up as I leisurely get up, not wanting to scare her. She lowers herself onto the bed, and I lay on my side next to her. "It was," I admit. "Oh," she breathes.

Scars cover her skin, but I don't mind them. Most men would. They would want a flawless woman, but I see beyond that when I look at Olivia. The things she went through made her strong.

There are more videos of her to watch, but I don't think I can without going insane with rage. But I need to know everything that was done to her, and I believe my blood-brothers will agree. "How does one learn to laugh again?" she murmurs more to herself than to me.

I don't know how to say sorry to someone. I've never said that word aloud to anyone. My fingers reach her thigh; this is where most of her scars are. I try not to concentrate on them.

Heat emanates from her pussy. I want to sink deep inside her until our souls are united forever, but I need to be patient. She's been abused for far too long. Forcing her will only break her spirit even more. Under the care of Ansel, Mose, and Jasper, she has blossomed. She needs to be loved, not be reduced to nothing.

I don't know how to show her what I feel for her, but I'll fucking try.

"Olivia," I groan as my palm finally reaches her pussy. How would it feel when I'm finally inside her? Is it as good as I always imagined or better? I run my fingers on top of her panties. I no longer have the ones that I stole years ago. Thank fuck, because that's just...sick. But now things are different. Her panties will start to disappear, little by little. "I destroy everything I touch," I snarl as I try to hold back and not rip her clothes and fuck her until we are both covered in sweat. "There's so much anger and hate inside my heart." Tears swirl in her eyes. "Not for you but for you." She doesn't understand.

I was never good at expressing myself. Women always flocked around me until I opened my mouth. How do I tell the woman I've always liked that I want her as my wife? I grab her braid with my free hand and bring her mouth to mine. I want to kiss her, but there are things I need to tell her.

"All this time, it wasn't about you. I used you as a scapegoat for my faults." I stop rubbing her pussy before I vomit word after word. "I remember hearing them talk about what went down in their marriage. I was six. My father accused my mom of neglecting him after I was born. She was too busy taking care of me to have any time for him, and they grew apart. He resented her for it, but he still loved her. Me, not that much. She grew distant soon after, and I was forgotten." My throat bobs because I never talked to anyone about this. I kept all this fucking pain inside me for years. "They never knew I heard them. I was the one who separated them; Camila was the one who brought them together. I loved her so much for fixing what I destroyed. When Tyson showed up, claiming he was my father's bastard, I was happy to have him around because I knew my parents would resent him more than me."

I stare into Olivia's eyes. A few tears fall down her cheeks. It's not because she is afraid of me. A knot forms in my throat. "I didn't tell you all of this to make you feel pity but to make you see why I am so...broken. So unlovable." Olivia shakes her head. "I don't pity you. I'm just surprised. You always seemed happy, and you loved your family so much." Her chin trembles. "I took them away from you. It is only fair that you hate me."

"I don't hate you," I quickly say. "What I did to you is unforgivable. Let me show you how much I regret not protecting you."

Sadness shows in her eyes. "I wish you would have killed me.” Her voice quivers. "I would be with my son, not stuck in this place, suffering day and night." My heart breaks for her, and I remove my hand from between her legs and gather her in my arms. She lets me hold her. It's a small victory, but I savor it nonetheless. It's too early to hope, but maybe I have a chance to make things right with her. "I wish I could hate you all, but I can't. You know what's the most fucked up thing?"

"No," I say against her hair.

"You and the rest are starting to give purpose to my life." She makes a strange sound. "I've come to think of this place as my home."

I pull my head back so I can look at her face as I say, "Do you mean it?"

She nods. "I can be your bonded if that's what you want, but I'll never let anyone have the same kind of power Tyson once had over me."

My heart feels alive for the first time in years. "I want you to love us. We already do."

Olivia hesitates before saying, "My life ended the moment I killed Camila; my heart got shattered when Tyson, Ansel, and you abandoned me; my soul died together with my son."

I was told many times not to ask questions that I didn't want answered, but I'm not the type of person to listen to advice. "What must Tyson and I do to earn your forgiveness?"

Olivia looks into my eyes, into my soul. Her gaze turns dark as she says, "Bring my son to me." I feel like I'm being punched in the gut. There's no way I can do that, no matter how much I wanted to. "I shouldn't go down that path because then, I'll really go insane." Making up her mind, she gives me her real answer, "I want to be the one who kills my father." Well fuck. I wanted to kill that son of a bitch. But at least this is something I can do for her. "Take that away from me, and I'll ally with the fucking Blight and destroy your pathetic lives."

I'm a fucking Lord who has killed many, but I was never scared until now.

I don't think Olivia understands how powerful she is.

Neither did I.

Until now.

"Consider it done." I kiss her forehead. "While I want us to stay like this for hours, we need to leave. Speaking of that, where are the others?"

"Tyson and Jasper are gone to check the horses while Mose and Ansel are getting the cars ready. At least that's what they told me."

I get up and help Olivia stand. "We should go outside then."

"Let me grab the daggers first. I don't want to leave them here in case Jason tries anything funny."

"After what Tyson did to Leo and Sean, Jason will think twice before setting foot here again."

Olivia blinks several times. "What did Tyson do to Leo and Sean?"

**I hope you all like the more calm chapters. Some other things have to happen before I wrap up this book. I calculate that I'm around half way done with Olivia's story. Alma's story will be next. Next update will be in 2 days**