The Four Beta Brothers
Chapter 71

JUNIPER

I forced myself to stand tall, despite Ethan's fury threatening to crush me. I had been so worried about Axel discovering my plans before I was able to execute them that I forgot that Ethan was technically a staff member at the school. I shouldn't have been surprised he found out about my request for a leave of absence, especially since I ran into him right after making the request. "I don't have to explain myself to you," I said, surprised my voice sounded as confident as it did.

Ethan pushed past me into my dorm. "Don't give me that, Juniper. School is your life, and you are just throwing that away, like it doesn't even matter. I have been fighting to keep you at this school, and now you're walking away without even discussing it with me." "I don't need to discuss my life decisions with you, and I never asked you to help me," I snapped, shutting the door harder than necessary. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I don't owe you anything."

Ethan huffed in response. "So what was your plan? Leave without telling anyone? Disappear in the middle of the night, like none of us matter? Fine, you don't owe me anything. But what about Axel? Don't you care about him? Don't you care about any of us?" "Of course I care about you!" I snapped. "I care about all of you! That's why I have to leave."

"That doesn't make any sense," Ethan growled. "I know the incident with Axel scared you, and your instinct is to run, but we're the ones who can protect you. I have to protect you."

"That's the problem!" I dug my nails into the palms of my hands. "You all keep risking your lives to protect me. James died to protect me! Axel almost died doing the same thing, and now that I know this hunter is targeting me, I have to get away from all of you. I'm not running away because I'm scared for once. Well, I guess I am, but not for the reasons you think. I know that if I was with you, you would jump in front of a bullet for me, just like Axel.

"That's why I have to leave. I know I'm cursed to hurt those near me that I care about, and I can't stand any more of you getting hurt because of me. I can't do it again. I won't do it again, so you can try to make me stay, but I love you too much to do that." My chest was heaving by the time I was done yelling at Ethan.

I expected him to start shouting back, telling me that was ridiculous or something along those lines. Instead, he stared at me with wide eyes. The air was thick between us, and there were thousands of unsaid words floating through the air, but I didn't understand any of them.

I couldn't tell if Ethan was shocked or angry. His face was unreadable.

I wrapped my arms around myself, losing my fire the longer the silence hung between us. Instead, an ache pressed against my chest. I didn't want to leave everyone behind. I didn't want to run away for once in my life. But I felt like I didn't have a choice. "I didn't tell you or anyone else, because I didn't think any of you would understand. And I didn't want any of you to ask me to stay, because I know it would make it nearly impossible to leave. So please don't ask me to stay." My voice was just above a whisper. I didn't plan on having Ethan discover my plan to slip out in the middle of the night, but I hoped if I made a good enough case, he would let me go. He would let me protect him and his brothers in return for all of the kindness they had given me over the years. Ethan still stared at me without a word, and it was making me antsy. "Please just say something. Even if you have to yell at me. I don't care. Just say something."

"You love me?" His eyes bore into me as if my answer to this question would change the course of his life.

My heart began thrumming like a drummer as I thought back to the words I said. I hadn't meant to tell Ethan I loved him. It slipped out in the middle of ranting, but while I didn't intend to say such a thing to him, as I stared at him, I knew it wasn't a lie. "Yes, I love you," I said, unable to say anything else.

Ethan crossed the room and grabbed the back of my neck while wrapping his other arm around my waist. Before I knew what was going on, Ethan's mouth pressed against mine. It was like every stolen moment, every longing look had built up to this single moment. At first, I didn't know how to react. I had always been attracted to him, but it was never an idea I entertained. Ethan was my TA, and when we met, I had been accused of sleeping with professors for my grade. In my head, he was never an option.

Despite that, he had been there everywhere I looked. He had been fighting for me, without ever asking for anything else. He was a constant in my life, someone I knew I could go to if I ever needed help. I started looking at him almost like an older brother, because there were no other options. I couldn't let myself fall for someone so above me.

But as Ethan slipped his tongue into my mouth, my walls came crumbling down. Every feeling I refused to let myself have, every time I pulled back from Ethan-none of it seemed to matter anymore.

I started kissing Ethan back, letting myself fall into the moment. My tongue danced with his, and he tasted as incredible as he smelled. My fingers ran through his hair, and then I gripped it, needing to ground myself as everything else disappeared around me. Ethan picked me up, and I easily wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his hardness pressed against my core, and my mind went blank as my body begged me to give into every hidden desire.

He stepped forward until my back hit the door, the handle pressing into my lower back. I yelped from the sudden pain, but it didn't stop the kiss from deepening. Ethan pressed against me, showing me how much he wanted this, and even though I denied ever having feelings towards Ethan, I couldn't deny it any longer.

The way he held my neck as he kissed me sent tingles down my spine. The way he held my bottom, pressing me against the door in our desperation, made me feel his love deep within my soul.

Ethan was the first to break the kiss. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

I untangled my legs from his waist and slowly lowered them to the floor. His apology brought me back to reality, and suddenly the kiss felt wrong. It felt so right in the moment, but it was too complicated. I was with Axel.

Except I wasn't-not officially. We weren't a couple, and we were too new to fully understand.

I knew I loved Axel, but I couldn't deny every feeling that bubbled up the moment Ethan touched me.

I pulled away from Ethan, needing space to clear my head. As long as his fingers lingered on my skin, I knew I wouldn't be able to think without clouded judgment.

"I..." I started to say, but I didn't actually have any words planned. I shook my head, putting more distance between us. "I have to go. I can't stay here any longer."

"If you leave, no one will be there to protect you," Ethan said. "Please stay."

"I don't want anyone to protect me," I said, unable to look at Ethan. "Too many people have died because they were trying to protect me. I thought he was just trying to scare me when he said I was cursed, but I'm not so sure. I can't risk staying around you or your brothers, because if the curse is real, you'll only end up dead, too."

"Wait, what curse? Juniper, what are you talking about?" Ethan asked. He didn't dare move closer to me.

I finally looked at Ethan. "I was told I was cursed so that anyone who loved me and was near me would die. That's why James was killed. That's also why my parents were killed. It's why Axel nearly died. That's why I have to leave. I have to find a witch to break this curse. Maybe then I can come back, but it's too dangerous to stay until then."

"You're not cursed," Ethan said. "I know you have been surrounded by a lot of death, and that's not easy, but it's just bad luck. You weren't cursed."

"But he told me he was!" I said, feeling exasperated. I had kept things bottled up for too long, and now that I was telling someone, I needed Ethan to understand and not fight me. "Who told you that?" Ethan asked.

"Your father."

I suggest you keep this conversation between the two of us. My sons won't understand. They are too blinded by their love for you.

Ethan's face blanched as the words came out of my mouth. "When did you see my father?"

"When you were looking for that hunter."

Ethan crossed the room and cupped my face, scanning it for something I wasn't sure of. "Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?" There was a surprising urgency in his voice.

I wasn't expecting those kinds of questions about his own father. "No, he didn't hurt me."

"Did he threaten you? Is that why you are planning on leaving?"

My head started swimming again from Ethan's close proximity. "No. He just told me the truth about what happened to James. He told me that I asked him to place the memory loss spell on me so I would forget you guys. He told me because I was cursed, it was my fault James died, so I wanted to forget all of you to protect you. He said that if I didn't leave, the curse would end up killing all of you, so he begged me to leave before he lost any more sons."

"He never said anything about a curse to me." Ethan knitted his brows together, struggling to understand what his father told me. "He never told me why he placed the memory spell on you, either. I thought you learned some kind of information from your parents, so someone sent an assassin to get rid of you."

I stepped away from Ethan, needing space to keep my head clear. I wrapped my arms around myself. "Maybe that's true. Maybe what Beta Burrell said is true. I don't know, but I do know that if there's a chance the curse is real, I can't risk your lives."

Ethan started pacing. After a moment, he stopped, keeping distance between us. "Give me a week to find a witch who can confirm if this curse is real. I've already been looking for one to remove the memory block. I'm sure they could do both. Then we'll be able to know whether or not my father lied."

"A week?" I repeated. I glanced at the bag by the door, ready for me to leave tonight. It would be easy to grab my things and leave the moment Ethan was gone, but his way sounded better.

"A week. I'll find someone who can help. Until then, you have to promise to keep going to class. Don't give up on this life yet. If after a week I'm unsuccessful, then you can choose what you want to do. But you should know that curse or not, it's not going to stop my brothers and me from loving you. It's not going to stop us from searching for you wherever you run to.

"You can choose to leave, but you can't stop us from coming after you if you do."

I swallowed hard. "I'll give you a week."

"Thank you." Ethan started to reach toward me, as if to pull me into a hug, but then he seemed to think better of the motion and stepped back instead. A single touch was like lightning, thrilling and dangerous.