The Mates of Monsters
Chapter 21

After Helena and I finish cooking dinner, I find privacy in my bedroom instead of waiting for David and eating with him. I plan to call Lindsey tomorrow to ask her about visiting, which should give me enough time to check in with David about it. I'm sure he could care less, seeing that he has much more going on these days. Jeremy found out that other Alphas in the region are calling for change, and for the change of what, we are unsure. It seems to be a very contained issue for the time being. I feel bad that David has to take on another problem, but I feel there is nothing I could do to better the situation. Like most things, it is out of my hands.

I get myself ready for bed earlier than usual. As spring begins to fade into summer, the nights aren't so cold, and I abandon my heavy pajamas for lighter ones. Before showing more skin didn't faze me, but now there is more to consider. I run my hands down my bare arms and adjust the length of my shorts. David isn't even home and yet I feel the heat of his gaze already.

He gets back as I am sitting on my bed replying to a lengthy message from my mother-a simple update regarding what's been going on in my parents' lives. A leaking pipe in the kitchen, a picture of a basket of muffins gifted to her by a friend, nothing concerning. I left the bedroom door halfway open, and as expected, David comes in. He takes in my appearance with anticipated discretion before asking, "Have you eaten already?"

"I'm not hungry."

Disregarding my response, he says, "Come on. Let's have dinner."

"I just said "

"I know what you said, and I don't believe you, so let's go."

I take a breath and set down my phone. As I climb off the bed, I mock, "Of course, Alpha."

He follows me downstairs and makes my plate as I sit at the table. I can tell he's used up every last bit of his patience today, and of course I'm left to endure his grumpiness, which doesn't pair well with my own.

He sets down the plate in front of me with far too much food on it-and gives me a fork. I take it and sigh, feeling like the last thing I want to do is eat. He sits down adjacent to me with his own plate. Taking advantage of the timing, I say, "My friend Lindsey is coming to visit."

"When?"

"I don't know. Jeremy said that she can come within the next two weeks."

David shrugs. "That's fine."

"This is too much food."

"Then eat what you can."

"What's going on?" I ask.

He glances at me. "Nothing you have to worry about. Everything is going to be fine."

"Jeremy said some Alphas want—"

"It will die out like everything else they call for."

My breathing grows shallow as I try to contain myself. I say, "You're acting differently." "I'm busy."

"You're distant," I accuse. "There's a difference."

David sets down his fork and breathes in. "I'm sorry, Brigette, I just don't have time—"

"For me?"

"That's not what I was going to say."

"I was trying," I admit. "I was really trying, but you being this way-it's not encouraging, David. I feel like an idiot. You can be as cold as you want during the day, but this time is supposed to be for us, and if we're both freezing each other out, it not going to work." "So you want to make this work now?"

I sit back and cross my arms. "No, I've just been acting as I was because I thought it would be easy and fun. I've been having a blast trying to pry myself open for you."

"Is that why you kissed me?"

Fighting back my blush I say, "No I did that as practice for when I'm with other Alphas, specifically the ones that are pissing you off."

He nods, showing the smidge of a smile. "What happened to you never loving anyone in any "

"Don't... go there. Because you won't be coming back."

"Oh but I liked that part."

I consider saying something cheeky in response, like 'So did Nicodra when I told him,' but I know David wouldn't like that one as much. He seems to have issues with Nicodra that no peace agreement can rectify. So instead, I say, "I really can't eat anymore." "Alright. You can go to bed if you like," he tells me. "I can clean this up."

"But all of this Alpha drama-it's really going to be fine?"

David assures me, "I won't let anything bad happen."

We hold our gazes for a moment before simultaneously looking away. My typical self would seethe and contract at the thought of appearing needy, but I have come to accept that some things are completely unavoidable when it comes to the bond. Besides, I've already admitted to wanting him. How could he criticize me for needing him to want me back? I stand up, but before leaving, I look over. "I was thinking," I leap, "that maybe it's time I could try staying with you. For the night. With a mutual understanding. I mean, if that's still what you want."

Hints of his smile begin to show through.

"Would that be okay?"

David nods. "Of course. I'll see you upstairs."

The look he leaves me with causes me to take a moment when I've turned the corner. I lean against the wall, shutting my eyes and contemplating the reality of me running back in there and attacking him. A part of me is so willing to disregard any form of decency, but I take my virtue with me up the steps.

I hurry into my bedroom and head straight into the bathroom to make sure no part of myself is suddenly out of place. My reflection is studied and inspected until I'm sure there is nothing more to do; we're sleeping, so it's not an act I can dress up for like the dinners. The dresses and makeup and styling made me feel like someone who belongs in this world, but as my regular self, I don't feel like a Luna or even a girl who sleeps in the same bed as a guy. This is something I want, though-even if I feel like an amateur. Ever since we met I've been day-dreaming about this moment. It's ridiculous-I won't even be awake to experience the majority of it but it's another step forward.

I take a breath and have one last look at myself. But this time I'm staring into my own eyes, having a wordless conversation with the girl looking back at me. I can't help but hear her doubts. This isn't you.

I hit the light and she vanishes in the darkness.

"Brigette?"

Not knowing how long I was looking at myself, I step out of the bathroom to find David at the door. He's come to collect me. I meet him there and glance back at the room before turning off its light as well. When I turn to David, he's already watching me. He says, "We're just sleeping, so don't get any ideas."

"Too late, but I'll try to control myself," I kid back.