The Mates of Monsters
Chapter 56

My fingers pinch a piece of toast but my will to lift it from the plate to my mouth is wavering. I slouch at the counter and kick around my eggs with my fork instead, every so often biting and chewing single bits of scramble. Helena eyes me as she cleans up until she asks,

"Did you get enough sleep, dear?"

"I think so."

"Is the bread too toasted? I can make-"

I take the toast and bite down, shaking my head, telling her it's just fine. She mumbles, "Well, alright," and resumes.

Truthfully, my appetite is nonexistent, but Jeremy told Helena that I'll be practicing with David, so she wants to make sure I have enough energy to do so. I don't think a hundred pieces of toast would give me the ability to pay attention today; my mind was restless last night, anxious about David and Ken and Nicodra and Aurora and my parents. But I tried my best to lay still so David could sleep. His continuous, routine breaths gave me some relief for the moments I spent focused on them.

"Good morning," Jeremy says as he enters the kitchen, much more lively than I. "Are you ready to head out? The Alpha is waiting."

He was gone when I woke up after a few hours of shuteye. I know seeing his father as he was the other night brought back old memories for him. Once we returned to the bedroom afterward, his mood had completely shifted, so rather than fooling around, I played his teddy bear. The same happened last night, but I had joined him in his melancholy.

Dealing with Ken was like peering into the future, and I don't think either of us was ready for it.

I slide off my seat and submit to my schedule. I walk with Jeremy to the training grounds-the sun hidden behind dense clouds of white fluff. Shadow patterns drift over the land, and I'm always happiest when the clouds cast their darkness, and it becomes so dark at times that you glance up to assure yourself that it isn't yet night.

We arrive just as David drags the blue mat into place. It seems to be something for my well-being and not his. I'm sure David doesn't need a foam barrier to keep his body from the unforgiving ground, but me-we must protect this body. I look down at the mat and remember exactly how it felt underneath me. Back then, having David so close was like dancing with the devil.

"I'll be over here if you need me," Jeremy says. "After, we'll review some emails you've received from a few Union members."

David waits with his arms crossed as I break away from Jeremy and come over. "Did you get enough sleep?" He asks. "I think so."

"Do you think you can make it through the hour? I don't need you getting hurt again."

I look down at my ankle, unsure of how it's doing. My limp isn't so bad today; the walk over here felt fine, so maybe all it needed was to be left alone. "Yeah," I say, "I know, but I'm sure I can manage. Just don't go too hard on me. It's been a while-I have some rust to chip away." "How about we refresh your memory then?"

I nod, squinting when the clouds move and the sun shines through. He speaks and demonstrates, and I try to listen. David comes behind me and I peer back, making him gently turn my head forward. He wraps his arms around me in a supposedly threatening way as he talks about getting free, but all I want to do is sink back into him. "Brigette," he says at my ear, "I said go ahead. Show me how you'd free yourself."

I glance back again and part my lips when I notice how close we are. My eyes, big and tempting, gaze into his, and he sighs. "How do I do that?" I ask.

"Were you paying attention?"

"Maybe you can say it again just this once?"

David adjusts his grip, clutching me harder. "You're going to quickly whip your head back and hit them in their face. And what if I try to lift you up?"

He takes me off the ground, and I say, "Wait I remember. Let me try again."

When my feet touch the mat, I bring my right foot-my uninjured one-around the back of his, curling it behind his heel. He tries to lift me again, but I stay in place. "Good girl."

He lets go, but I stand there for a moment longer biting my cheek. Even through our time of reflection and impending doom, I can't help the spark of desire from burning brighter inside of me-it's always lit, always flickering and longing to grow and consume me from the inside out. I knew this lesson would only prove the truth of the words I spoke to my mother: I would do anything for him. When the Goddess paired us and made me his, she whispered in my ear and said take him-he's yours.

David swipes me from my thoughts when he skillfully brings me to the mat in one calculated swoop, turning and stealing my breath, but placing me with care. "Maybe I should have listened when you told me you'd be distracted," he says above me. "What's going on in your head, Brigette? What's more important than my teaching?"

"I just..." my voice dies. I just love you so much these days, I think to myself. I love you so much that it whisks my thoughts to heavenly places and I lose myself there. "I'm sorry."

He takes my hands and helps me to my feet. "There's a lot going on, isn't there?"

"Too much, I think."

"Alright. How about we cut this short? I'll finish things up and come home early. We'll send your parents a lovely dinner, we'll let my father roam the cliffs, we'll give Helena the night off, and we'll have dinner just the two of us," he suggests knowing I'll agree. "Please." I tuck my hair behind my ears. "That sounds perfect."

"Go on then," he says and looks to Jeremy. "I'll see you soon."

I give David a hopeful, sweet smile before nodding and jogging off to Jeremy. Jeremy peers up from his phone for a second then asks, "Have you given up already?"

I roll my eyes and tug at his arm. "Come on, let's go. We've got work do to."

"Now you want to work?"

"If I tell you you're funny, will you get a move on?"

Jeremy stares, unamused, then stands from the bench. "Why the hurry?"

"David is coming home early so we can have dinner together, and I want to get everything done before then so I don't have to think about it later."

"I'm..." he pats my shoulder, "I'm actually impressed. Is this my effect on your work ethic? I like to think I've been a good influence on you."

"You've taught me well," I say as we start walking back to the house.

"Well then, let's go get started on those emails. Last time I checked, we have seven responses out of the eighteen we sent. I also saw an update from Bonny regarding Russia and the leadership she spoke to there. The Union will send out formal ballots in two months. Because the members you met have already voted, we just need these incoming votes to keep us in the majority ratio.

"There is a European meeting taking place in Germany before the ballots are sent, and I think it could really help if you spoke there."

"Spoke in Germany?" I question. "You mean, if I went to Germany?"

"It would be a quick trip. Only two nights. Late next month; a week after Luna Godoy's scheduled visit. Of course, you'll have to speak with the Alpha because he will not be able to accompany you."

My face falls. "There's no way. He'll never let me go somewhere alone."

Jeremy says, "You wouldn't be entirely alone. I would travel with you, attend the meeting. We could also bring a guard."

"Do you think he would let me? I mean, he wouldn't keep me here and lock me up, but I'd want to go with his blessing."

"You're having dinner tonight. Why don't you bring it up and see how he feels about it?"

I sigh. "It's worth a try. I'll see what I can do."

"Good, because I think there's a real chance you can do this, Brigette. The Lunas want change."

Jeremy stays at the house for four hours then leaves me with the last hour of work. There are times of distraction, lunch and jokes and arguments, but we manage to finish. We even begin drafting my destined-to-be-spectacular speech for Germany with hopes that David will be okay with it. It's easy to get lost in the 'what-ifs' with Jeremy.

Helena leaves for the night by the time I leave my workstation at the dining table. I clear it off so David and I will have space for plates and cutlery, then determine that we'll cook dinner together. I hop up the steps and nearly skip into the bedroom to clean myself up. Afterward, I call one of the picturesque little restaurants in town and order dinner for both my parents and Ken, including desserts and personal notes. Everything-for the first time in a long time-feels like it's coming together flawlessly, and I think that I've done it; I've made the right decisions, and I've gotten myself to where I need to be.

There's no use in doubting my run-away attempt, or my submission to our bond, or my dedication to being Luna. I return downstairs and brainstorm possible dinner recipes from Helena's recipe book as I wait for David, flipping through pages and thinking everything looks good. Then an hour passes.

And another. And I try to call David's phone.

Dinner time comes and goes, and I find myself in the shadowed kitchen alone.