The Secret Island
Chapter 68: That Version of Martin

"Whoa...that was a good nap." Celine, who had just slept for an hour, stretched out her arms and thought of what to do next. She called the restaurant she booked to confirm our table and drove Martin there. She had the trip all planned out and loved to be the one controlling the plan. He tried to help out, but how could he know the places in this country more than she did? He seemed to appreciate what she did, though, because Martin just followed her without any complaint. She picked a small restaurant near our resort with a gorgeous view. Once we got to the restaurant, she ordered some menus that she remembered he liked. She paid him as much attention as she could-she kept the conversation going, and she explained the signature menu to him. It was refreshing for him to see she was in charge even in her off time.

"Shall we order red wine or white wine? Red wine, then, I think the house wine here is already a great pick. And I remember you prefer red over white in all cases anyway."

"Sure. I'd love that." He replied with a smile.

"I actually never been here, but I saw that this place got good reviews. Do you like it?" She asked. And all he did was smile and nod. When he looked at her, the memory of what happened in the car returned again, and he kept silent. Martin was lost for words multiple times today. He blamed that kiss for this. That caught him off-guard and was the reason he acted like an incompetent imbecile.

"I have never considered you an ashy person before. What happened, Martin?" She was teasing him. He could just tell that. She looked around the restaurant and admired its décor while waiting for his answer. He could see her chuckle, and he stumbled on his words when he replied.

"What? No. What are you talking about? I'm nowhere near a shy person." He definitely lost his cool today, and that was something outside his control. He tried to deny it, but he knew full well that his action now only increasingly proved her right.

"I never thought you could turn red that easily. And you got lost in your thought, I presume. You were very quiet before, but less than now, I would say."

"Well..." She stated her presumption, and he didn't know what to say.

"You asked me out for this holiday, didn't you? Do you remember you mentioned that you want us to get to know each other? How can I get to know you if you keep being this quiet?"

He could sense that she wasn't that serious when she accused him of being quiet all this time. She seemed to get into an executive mode from time and time, and he found her even more fascinating because of that. Celine stared at her without saying anything. Then she asked him the question.

"So... what do you want to know about me?" Her sudden smile made him feel nervous, as if our dinner this evening was more of a first date, and he had to impress her somehow.

"Err...I'm totally blank on this. Sorry, I'm just useful, am I?" He laughed at his own incompetency. This time wasn't the time he would tell anyone that he was a confident man at all.

"You don't have to be too serious about this. Alright, where should I begin?" He could see that she felt sorry for his sudden stress.

"Hmm..." He couldn't think of any proper question or story when he was under pressure. He had never been a good conversationalist, but this time, he was totally fumbling. She kept staring at him.

"I thought we already knew each other quite well, no? Do you know to erase all our memories and start over again?"

Start everything all over again?

"If I could start all over again with a clean slate, I would. I even want to turn back time and fix everything I did wrong." "Which time in your life do you want to fix?"

"Hmm... if I could turn back time, I want to go back to the first year of my career."

"Why?"

She asked him a simple question why and that gave him a pause. Why?

"Back at that time, when I first started working, I had everything I ever wanted... at that time anyway. I thought I had the world by the tail. It was before all those horrid experiences I was so confident. You might like that version of me better." Then he told her from memories that version of him that she might find attractive before his life drastically changed.

He used to tell her about his past, just some stories, but they were not as detailed as what he was telling her just now. He told her about the version of him that was the pride of his family, his friends, his university, and even the company he was working for. He was proud of himself and his accomplishment and the ability to get everything he wanted. He had everything.

Celine gave him a few probe questions, but in the end, she cut him off before he idolized the old version of himself to the point of degrading his present self. "No, I don't think so."

"What?"

"I don't like that version of Martin."

"What do you mean?"

Martin frowned in confusion. He mentioned he had never met someone who didn't compliment Martin from years ago. He was at the peak of his career. "Just... No."

"Do you mind elaborating?"

"...." She extended her hand to touch his, and her eyes were serious.

"Let me tell you a story...." Celine shifted her gaze to our hands, and her gaze softened. Then she gave him a broad smile as if she remembered such a happy time.

"The Martin that I know is very kind. The first time we met, the version of Martin that I knew had helped me through difficult times despite the fact that he was busy with his own problems. You helped me four years ago, although I was just a spoiled kid. You helped me and taught me plenty of valuable information that still stays with me." And then she told him of her view of him.

"Oh, of course, you were mean, but I knew you cared, and although you have secrets, I could sense that you have always been sincere and honest in what you say. You are a true academic without being in academia, and for that, I found you to be super smart. It was my pleasure to learn from you."

"That version of Martin that I remember loved to cook, you cooked breakfast for me every day, and he let me do whatever within reasons. I like that about you." She tightened her grip on his hand and met his eyes. Martin was sitting. Still, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. Her eyes were kind, and he couldn't look away.

"That version of Martin was who I fell in love with."

"...."

"You were astonishingly kind and gentle to me up until the time we parted. Although we had to break up, I knew you meant well. And although you didn't come back to me after years of our time apart when we met again, you were so quiet that I heard myself talking almost the entire time, and although you don't appear as confident as you used to be, although you blame yourself all the time for not being as successful or no clear goal in life or said you have nothing to offer me, despite all that, this time, when you are back when you are sitting here in front of me now, this time, this Martin, you said you love me."

Her hand shifted to caress his cheek as gently as she could.

"...and likewise, I also haven't stopped loving you."

"...."

"So please, Martin, I beg of you, no matter how many times I have to say it, I will---you are already good enough, you are enough, this version of you, you... just you... are the ones that I love."