Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 110

I was so f*****g tired... I been here for what seemed like forever when I finally was getting some rest after they had apparently shoved the biggest f*****g needle they could find in my back, making even Jonah look like he wanted to faint when he still was here with me. him and me being here and I didn't hate it. The opposite, it just felt right. I didn't care how f*****g wrong it was, him being engaged and me having someone else's baby, we were just f*****g right, and he knew it same as me still holding my hand looking at his phone at the moment, still sneaking looks on me when I was having my eyes closed sweating like a damn pig from the pain that was starting to fade off. thank f*****g god!

We didn't say anything, not a damn word when I opened my eyes fluttering them and just meeting his warm loving ones making my heart start to go faster, nobody could look at me like he did, made me feel like he did. Nobody.

"Andrea.... I ..." he had put his phone down when I just squeezed his hand harder and made curses, f*****g pain! I was dying and I knew it when the agony of my voice was filling the room making him tense up even more, already wanting to go find someone to help me, but he couldn't, I f*****g needed him with me!

"Stay, please.... Just stay Jonah... just f*****g stay... I need you..." I was panting falling back with my head when he made a grim face and sat his a*s down again and just kissed my hand, like he had done the last couple of hours, he was sober now and I was thankful that he wasn't hungover, or he was covering it up better than I ever did.

"I'm not leaving, I'm never leaving you Andrea...." He leaned up and kissed my sweaty forehead making me do a small smile because it felt so f*****g good when he did it.

Both our eyes snapped to the chirpy fucking nurse that was coming up seeing us and smiled more making me sneer, what the f**k was she smiling about, couldn't she f*****g see that I was in pain here?!

"Alright.... So, let's see how we are doing..." I made a face seeing that I hated this part when she just shoved her f*****g fingers up inside me and looked like I was supposed to be happy about that, I wasn't! Jonah looked away and I didn't blame him when the nurse pulled her hand back finally and smiled even more making me sick to my stomach, great more good news!

"This is great Andrea, you are ready to have your baby!" she was up and looking at my charts when my eyes widen in horror, now!? Like right f*****g now!? But I just got that f*****g epidural that sucked so much to take!?

"What?!" I sounded like I was having a panic attack and I was when Jonah looked like he wanted to hurl too, whatever calmness that he had over him was gone since this was fucking real and not something that neither him nor me could just ignore anymore, I was having my baby.

"Yes darling, that's why you are here right? To have that baby? look at you two, such a pretty couple!" the woman cooed making me hate her less when she looked away and I stared at Jonah, nobody of us making a sound, I had no idea what he wanted to do after the baby was born, all I knew was that I needed him and if he left me now, I was going to die.

"Just don't leave me.... please Jonah... don't fucking leave me until its over..." I made a begging face with tears in my eyes... I knew he still was engaged, and he hadn't said a word about anything since we left my place about what he felt and what was going to happen, so I was just assuming the absolute worst ending. Him leaving me as soon as he could so that he didn't have to see my baby that wasn't his.

"I promise.... I'm not leaving.... Please, Andrea... I know that I am a fucking asshole, but I would never leave you... I still fucking love you and you know that no matter what happened, I do..." he made a tired bright smile that made me start to cry right away, I f*****g loved him too, so much and I just wanted him to come back to me, that was all I ever wanted!

"I love you.... I always love you Jonah.... I just want to have you back, alright? I just want you back to being my boyfriend, my fucking soulmate..." I didn't give a shit if the nurse was hearing us when he looked at me like he knew that too. That I still did love him and that I would do anything to have him back, like the stupid bitch I was.

He didn't answer me, not right away when he just looked like he was really thinking that part over making me cry even more just feeling the hard pain. My body started to feel like it was breaking apart and the stupid fucking nurse made a smile when she left to get a fucking doctor, she better fucking hurry the fuck up when I was still holding Jonah's hand pretty sure that I was breaking apart when he did a grunt of pain when I finally released the pressure and exhaled, this f*****g sucked so f*****g much!

"I am never having another baby, no fucking way! Fuck!" I was cursing more than ever when he did a small chuckle like it was funny making me want to kill him, this was not fucking funny, he had no idea that I was f*****g dying here!

"What the fuck are you laughing at?!" I made a hiss that he didn't care about and just stood up, getting closer and kissed my head again making me loose my anger in heartbeat, oh god I loved him, and he was here, he didn't need to be here. Still he was, for how long I didn't know when the f*****g pain and the nitrous was making me lightheaded, like I was drunk as hell and still not.

"Nothing.... Nothing baby... I just love you that's all..." he made another smile that I just stared at in awe, he was the most handsome man I had ever seen, screw that he was too young and everything else that made us bad for each other, he was my f*****g soulmate and I loved him.

"I love you too..." the stupid doctor and nurses coming back and interrupting me wanting to tell him that I didn't care anymore about anything, he was mine and there was nothing he could do to stop that, I was going to crash his fucking wedding if I had too! "Alright.... Andrea, you need to push this time!" I snapped my eyes back to the doctor that I sneered at, she could fucking push if she wanted to, couldn't she see that I was dying over here!?

The hard strong pressure that was splitting me apart when Jonah was still holding my hand hard and just staring down like he couldn't fucking believe what he was seeing when the pressure was over and I fell back panting hard, f**k! F*****g f**k! "Kill me..." I made a begging sound to Jonah that was just smiling and mumbling things in my ear that I smiled at, it made no sense but I didn't care, it was his voice. the soft tone that I needed to hear, the rest didn't matter right now.

"Okay... just a little more, you can do this Andrea, you want to see your baby, right??" the mean doctor was making me want to start to cry... of course I wanted to see my baby, but I was dead tired too, they didn't even let me rest like they had fucking promised me after I got the fucking epidural!

"It's okay, you can do this.... this fucking nothing baby, you can do anything, and you know it, just push some more and then you are done, then you can rest..." I looked up at Jonah that was smiling at me like I didn't believe him, no this was never going to end, I was going to die here, and he knew it same as me!

"I can't! Look at me... I'm to f*****g tired... Jonah... please...." I started to cry again when he got down and kissed me hard on my mouth making me breathless for just about one second before feeling the strong pain hammering down at me merciless, this was it, this was how I fucking died!

"I love you Andrea... now get to fucking work, I want to see that kid of ours." I looked into his deep blue-green eyes making a shocked surprised face when I just couldn't make a sound, did he fucking just say that?? I didn't even have time to think about more when the strong current was making me push again and I hated every second of it, every second was agony when the sound of loud screaming and cheerful voices filled the entire room. Finally.

Jonah disappearing off when I just had my eyes closed only opening them when I felt the weight on my chest feeling my arms being re-directed to the baby that was having its eyes closed when I started to cry again feel the strange feeling over having her in my arms, what this f*****g real or what?

"a healthy baby girl, congratulations!" the smiling nurse was coming up when I looked back seeing Jonah standing there by my side again having on some rob or shit, what the f**k had he been doing anyway? I looked down again not knowing how the fuck I could have made that perfect person? I was a fuck-up, a desperate woman that made every mistake there ever was and still I did one fucking thing right.

"Look at her Andrea... shit... she looks like you... fucking beautiful...." Jonah kissed my head again when the nurse made a laughter like she had heard that a thousand times and never got tired of it, but it was true, she was beautiful, more than anything in the entire world...

"Jonah...." I made a warm smile back that he just grin at, stroking my hair back and didn't care that I was sweaty and disgusting, he loved me, always had and no bitch was going to change that... I made another smile looking down on the girl, she was perfect, a small patch of dark hair and just pure cuteness when she was asleep, I had no f*****g idea how she could do it seemed that people were still around, but I never wanted to move again, I could die just right here holding her forever.

"Okay... Andrea... give her over to daddy now..." the nurse was still smiling when I lost mine, daddy? I didn't even know what Jonah felt about anything... I did remember him saying something during the last part when I pushed but that was a blur, and I could have just made that shit up when I was high on the nitrous .... I didn't almost wanted to meet his eyes looking scared when he gave me a look back frowning like he didn't understand why I was acting like that reaching out his arms when the nurse took the girl from me making me hold my breath when she placed the now swaddled baby in his arms when he didn't say anything, just stared at her like he couldn't believe that this was happening, me and him both.

"oh fuck..." I made a smile hearing him curse when they were already talking to me and I didn't care, I just stared at the man I loved and the baby he was supposed to hate with something else in his eyes, making my heart fill over with love. he seemed to want her, that meant more to me than anything else, f**k he didn't know how f*****g much I wanted to just get up there and kiss him, I loved him so much!

"Fucking hell.... Look at her Andrea.... look at her... isn't she the most beautiful thing you ever seen?" he still hadn't looked up when I made a sob, yeah, she was and I loved her, I loved her so much and I knew he did too, I didn't even need to see his eyes that was fascinated over the small baby in his arms that was making a small flutter, a small face that made me cry even more, was I imagining things or did she even look like him?

"She is yours Jonah... look at her... just fucking look at her... that's your baby... I swear on it...." I made a happy chuckle falling back when he made a frown for two seconds looking down at the precious thing in his arms when I was still laughing, feeling so fucking relief, she was not Chris baby, I just knew and f**k anyone that said otherwise.

"Andrea.... No... you know that's not possible.... He made a face that I didn't give a shit about, how else was he explaining this? I f*****g saw the condom on that fucker and I don't know, maybe that bitch was f*****g wrong! "Sure it is! Look at her, she even looks like you, that's your nose and lips, look!" I was making a bigger grin when he looked down to trying to make sense of what the f**k was happening.

I didn't know either, I just knew that my baby was from Jonah and not that fucker that raped me.

"How??" he was sounding accusing when I still was feeling slightly buzzed and didn't care, I was supposed to have her to Christmas.... I made a small chuckle... oh no don't tell me it was the fucking simple.... It wasn't, was it?

"She was supposed to be born in two weeks Jonah and when the f**k did that bastard take me, right on the parking lot when you left me...." I didn't care anymore when he did a guilty face still holding onto our baby, yes, she was our, cradling her gently like he was trying to get it too...

"Maybe she isn't born too soon, maybe she is born right on time seeing that I was in that place for two weeks before...." I stopped seeing that the hospital staff didn't need to know when he did a big scowl like he was getting really pissed and I just made a snicker, see he got it now, she was his kid!

"Are you fucking telling me that the bitch that did the sonogram was fucking wrong??" he was clenching his jaw hard, he was so pissed, more then I had ever seen him when he was still holding onto the girl and just trying not to start screaming, oh god all it took was me having a baby to make him shut up, why didn't I just do it before?

"Maybe she wasn't wrong.... I don't know.... I don't have like this really regular cycle Jonah since I got off the pill and ... well I didn't really know when my period ended since I was fucking locked up and didn't really keep track of that kind of shit..." I was mumbling the last part tired when he was about to blow up and I knew it, but I didn't care batting my eyes, I was f*****g exhausted over here...

"Fuck! Andrea, I love you, but I'm going to kill you, what the fuck!?" He was cursing when I made another smirk, fuck him acting like that. he didn't even scream anymore, just said it angry and cradle our baby, I was so fucking happy... my eyes feeling tired when he was putting her down in the small crib when he did another frown at me like he really was thinking of ways to make me pay that I didn't care about, let him. He loved me.