Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 140

"Oh god, look at it Buck..." I was staring onto my house, my home and it was a mess, it was! A f*****g tree had fallen over Kira's bedroom window making me so happy that it was boarded up and even more that Buck had taken me and her away from here, even if I hated every second living with Sarah, I did and I wasn't hiding it. Buck and me still not talking about that, it was too... hard.... Just like a lot of things was right now when he made a humming sound like he saw it too when Kira was playing on my phone to make her stop crying from being away from Sophia, even Buck hadn't said anything about that. he was tired, same as me. "Shit...I'm going to need some help with this..." the truck was standing further down on the driveway when he didn't want to go over the debris and shit that was everywhere.

I took his hand giving him a firm squeeze, I was going to help him, this was our problem, not his. We were a f*****g team.

"We got this Buck." I said it smiling making him look happier when our hands was snaked together, was it easy after what had happened? f**k no. it was awful and I still wanted to run away from it all, James and losing a baby... but Buck kept me grounded, made me see that I wasn't going to be safe anywhere, and I didn't want to leave the life I had here, Kira's whole world.

"yeah, I guess we do..." he took my hand kissing it making my chest flutter, giving him a bigger smile, he was so charming and handsome, and we were trying to make it, not just giving up and pull the plug when that was the easiest way, the one I really wanted to take to be honest.

He was still smiling when I dragged him closer, my stomach still hurting like hell, but it was getting better when I was hooked up with some shit Sarah had given me, making Buck swear that he was going to keep tabs on me, I snorted hearing that, Like I was some damn junkie!

"We really should get you to the hospital Andrea, I mean you had a miscarriage and lost a lot of blood, Sarah just patched you up and.." he was talking when I waved him off, no hospitals, I didn't want to go there. I was sick of being hospitalized, and the cops didn't do shit seeing that James just had vanished. wrote it off to him being dead and that was it, case closed. CSI my a*s.

"No... no I want to be here with you.... Please... I swear to God Buck that I will tell you the second I get worse and then I will go, promise!" I was smiling crossing my heart when he did a frown not convinced but he didn't have the strength to push me, like I said we were both exhausted from what had happened.

"Fine... just... tell me, alright?" he made another encouraging look when I nodded, I was... I just really didn't want to spend more time away from Kira or him, it was so hard, being in the house and just seeing them, him and Sarah, made me doubt everything and I hated that.

"I will Buck." I tried to look at him the sincerest I could so that he didn't need to worry, I mean I wasn't stupid, of course I was going to tell him if I was feeling something that was wrong.

He made a brighter grin back, just the slightest and I could tell he wasn't that happy with me not getting medical attention, but everything was still messed up seeing that we had passed some houses that was trashed, not like mine that had made it pretty good seeing that I had a tree lying on top off it.

"Good.... Oh shit... I don't even know where to start here baby... I need to make some calls, get help and..." he was picking up his phone when a car was coming up behind us and I looked at Buck when his eyes snapped in the rear-view mirror at it like he knew that truck. so did I when I felt him getting tense, his heart going faster and mouth slightly open seeing the door opening and he let my hand go stepping outside too and I didn't stop him, no he needed this when I made a smile seeing the younger copy of him that was standing by his truck, staring at his dad like he didn't know what to say.

Mitchell.

Holy shit.

He was here and from the looks of it, Buck just started to walk towards him, making Mitch look like he was ready to get his ass kicked or yelled at when I did a small smile seeing Buck throw his arms around him, hugging him hard making me even happier, I didn't want Buck to suffer, not by my past or by Mitch hating me, I loved him.

They were talking before walking over making me even more nervous seeing that Kira had dropped the phone, her attention was on Buck and Mitch that looked happier and I was getting so fucking nervous when they stopped and Buck went around, opening the door for me and helping me out, Mitch looking at me really guilty, like he wanted to say sorry but couldn't, just like Jonah would have done.

"Hey Mitch...." I said it trying when Kira was making unhappy noises, demanding to be unbuckled and Buck was already on it when he left me and Mitch going inside the truck.

"I'm sorry over what happened, and... I'm glad you made it, alright Andrea..." He said it still a bit hostile when I made a nod, sure. He was still not my biggest supporter but who cared, I wasn't his parent and if he and Buck was at least talking I was happy. "Yeah, me too..." I said more awkward when I looked up hearing the cars that was coming up after Mitch's making me raise my eyebrows seeing the young guys that was walking out and made me feel even more confused, what the f**k was there a team of like twenty guys standing there looking like they where just waiting on Mitch to tell them to come over??

"I brought some help along, don't put too much thought into that brain of yours, I still don't f*****g like you but dad loves you so... well it's my team and the volunteered to be here, everyone of them." He looked up proud when Buck was holding Kira and she was staring at the whole lot of collage kids, like I was. all guys that were coming over making Buck slap Mitch back proud taking Kira along staring to talk naturally to them when I was standing here just staring at them. Holy shit. That's when I saw him.

Right in the fucking back, leaning nonchalant at the hood of the truck he was driving, cap on and a hoodie and he was chewing gum like he really belonged with them, belong around the fucking football players, all bigger and brawnier than him, but not taller, no he was just as tall and I knew it even if he wasn't showing it right now.

Jonah.

My heart had stopped, and he knew it when our eyes met, he was smirking that bastard knowing that I was panicking, of course I was! I hadn't seen him for so long and here he was from f*****g nowhere, pretending to be part of Mitchell's football team that was here to help me and Buck with the house!

He made a bigger smirk, still chewing when our eyes where locked over the yard, over every guy that was here and talking to each other or Buck that was going around like the charming bastard he was and talking to everyone like he knew them having Kira along that was looking at them men like they were aliens but she wasn't scared, nope she looked like she was in heaven getting all the attention like princess she was.

"Andrea are you fucking lost or what?" Mitch was snaring it slightly when I snapped my eyes back away from Jonah that looked like he didn't like seeing that, Mitch being rude against me, well look who was fucking talking!

"What??" I said it like I was caught stealing, or cheating. My heart slamming hard into my chest and I swear all my face was red from seeing him, fuck. He still looked so fucking good, better. Like the years I been away just made him more masculine than he ever was before, still leaning against the car, arms crossed and he was speaking to some of the other guys, completely ignoring my secret glances that I couldn't help to steal.

"Stupid bitch...." Mitch was muttering it when he walked away and started to talk to Buck that was chuckling, it was loud and happy, he loved this, loved that he had his son and the whole team along here in our small yard.

"Andrea, come meet the guys!" he said it waving at me when I gulped, meet the team... sure... sure no problem, just not my ex-boyfriend that was standing still and watching me from a far now that Buck had called on my attention when Kira was giggling putting her hand on some guys face like they believed she was a baby, she wasn't!

"Hey, everyone! this here is my beautiful wife Andrea and for the rest of you that don't know, this is princess Kira, and that I am watching you!" he made another chuckle when he was holding me with one arm, Kira beaming proudly and I just wanted to die seeing Buck was still laughing when every guy around had looked at my tits at least once since they got here, all but one and he was not looking happy anymore when his eyes where on Buck and Kira.

"Buck.... I said it awkward when he still was chuckling, he was proud, I loved that usually but right now I could feel the cold hard stare into my head even if I wasn't looking at him and I was scared shitless that he was going to say something.

I mean... I wanted to tell Buck about Jonah, but how? How the fuck was that supposed to happen when he was here and basically just staring me down, waiting on me to make a move or ... I don't know, something! He wasn't here for no reason; he never did anything without something in the back of his mind.

"What? I'm just marking my territory, I can't trust these guys, I used to be one of them so I know how the spend their free time..." he made everyone chuckle around us including Mitch that was looking at his dad proud again, well at least I didn't have to worry about Buck being hated by his sons, no they were going to hate me full hearted instead.

I made another sigh, pulling the small cardigan around me harder, making my wound hurt and I did a small painful frown that caught the look of both Buck and Jonah, so he did care about me that heartless bastard!

"You alright baby? You want me to go get your meds?" Buck was rubbing my back when I made another forced smile and nodded, yeah. I needed those f*****g pills now!

"Yeah...thanks Buck..." I made another smile when he kissed me making Kira start to pout, oh no...oh no, no, no.... I was shifting my eyes nervously at Jonah that was watching Kira even more intense than before when she started to speak.

"I want kisses too daddy!" she said it loud and clear, and my heart dropped to the floor knowing that Jonah heard everything, every word coming out from her small mouth when Buck kissed her head and she was happy, she always was when he did that, she loved having a daddy.

I didn't want to look at him, I didn't but I couldn't keep my stare away when he was still fixed on Kira, his face was blank, no smirk, no nothing when she was having the time of her life in Bucks arm and he was standing there, helpless on the side-line and not being able to do a damn thing about it making my heart break.

I wanted to go to him, explain even if I didn't need too, he was gone and Buck was here, this was the choice he made marrying Shailene. So why the f**k did I feel so f*****g bad when I saw the small seconds of hurt in his eyes when he thought nobody was looking at him?

"Give them to mommy, would you? Buck was sending Kira over from the truck with the bottle of water making me kneel down slowly and take them from her hand, she was so careful around me, and I was grateful for that, she got it that I was in pain, big time. "Thank you, baby..." I made a big smile towards her own one, I loved her so much, she was the real reason my life was going on, that I hadn't just stopped breathing that day Jonah told me he had married homeland, she was my everything. "you're welcome mommy!" she was chirping it, making me start to snicker even more, she was the best kid I could ever have, sure she was stubborn, and I had spoiled her too much, but she was, I loved her more than my life.

I looked up seeing Jonah was staring at us and my heart was hurting so much looking at him, he did really love her, he did, and it was killing him, probably had been all this time when I was cursing his name every second of my waking hour. "Here Andy baby..." Buck was helping me up and I did a grateful smile, pulling my eyes away from Jonah that still looked like he was dying over there in the back.

"Thanks Buck..." I was about to take the bottle of pills when he pulled me in, kissing me long and tender when I closed my eyes, feeling that sweet kiss I loved so much before looking up at the big grin he was giving me, opening up the water bottle for me like the gentleman he was.

"I love you Buck..." I said it honest; I did love him so much even if Jonah was here and I didn't even look at him, couldn't when I didn't want to see that hard face and dark eyes I knew he was going to have, this was it. This was my life with Buck now and it didn't matter if Jonah was here to try to play me from the side-lines and get me rattled like I knew he would, I wasn't going to fall for it.

"I love you to Andy..." Buck kissed me again, earning whistle and hoots from the guys around making me blush when the only two that wasn't looking happy was Mitch and Jonah.

"Alright boys, let's get to work!" Buck was letting me go when Kira was cheering from the sound of Buck starting to boss around the poor guys that Mitch had brought along when I was still giggling from Bucks kiss when I looked at Jonah that just clenched his jaw and pulled down the cap on his head, covering up the darkness in those green-blue eyes, oh shit.