Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 145

"Hey...." I said it still tired when the arms were locked around me making me lean my head back, expecting to feel Bucks scratchy chin against my head when it was smooth and I got scared, my whole body tensing up when the arms around me got tighter and I felt my wound that still was heeling hurt, what the f**k was happening??

"Oh, but its true, you know that right? That he is right over there in his house and in this moment, he is f*****g her, hard and good. he has too now when you can't give him what he wants... a man like him have needs you know that Andrea, why are you always so f*****g stupid?" I had already started to cry when the voice was getting more aggressive and I didn't even know who it was before he turned me around hard and fast, making my stomach hurt even more. What the f**k was going on when I was blinking in the pitch darkness, not even seeing the man that was on top of me, pinning me down with his heavy body and making me helpless to the point where I was just panting small breaths trying to start to scream over what was happening.

"Hey bitch! look at me when I'm talking to you! don't you f*****g dare close your eyes, look at what he did to me, what you did to me Andrea and I am going to give you what you deserve, and nobody is going to help you this time..." I made a small whimper seeing the face of a person I never ever thought I would see again appear slowly in the darkness showing me his big smile, the brown eyes and young face that was grinning to me with a blood all over him when I started to scream, Chris!

"Buck! BUCK!" I was screaming it on the top of my lungs still feeling my body being pushed down, the air filling up with my screams when his smile disappeared and pushed me down harder, my legs trashing around hearing the loud sound of his belt opening and I froze up, no! not again, no! anything but that, please!

"Chris... please don't, please no!" I was begging him when he made a scowl when my stomach made me cry even harder. he was dead, I know he was so why the f**k was he here and why was he f*****g raping me all over again!?

"Here is the thing Andrea, you are just a bitch, nobody loves you. not your parents, not Ryan, not Jonah and not Buck... you have nobody, you are fucking lucky I even want to give you my dick, now shut the fuck up!" I felt his hand over my mouth making me panic grow even stronger, the cold air over my naked legs and the heavy body over me when the pain was making me cry out feeling him push inside, hard and merciless, just like last time he did it.

"BUCK, JONAH! I was trying to scream when I was biting into the hand and it didn't make any difference, he wasn't stopping and I was closing my eyes when the pain in my body was making me want to pass out, I didn't want this, I never wanted this! "Look around you, why are you yelling!? they are all here and they see you for what you are, a fucking whore!" I heard the angry voice again opening my eyes making me cry even more, my chest was so tight I could barely breathe from the heavy weight when I saw Buck, he was looking at me but he wasn't helping me, He just stared at me like I was disgusting when Sarah came up and he smiled at her making me want to scream even more but I couldn't! Chris was still holding his hand hard over my mouth smirking at my pain that bastard!

Jonah was there too, and he was holding Shailene tightly against him, smirking at me like he thought this is what I deserved, he never loved me and now when he was done with me, he was more than happy to see Chris f**k me, kill me!

"Look at them, really look at them bitch! this is what you are, a side bitch and a second place, don't you ever f*****g forget that!" he moved his hand over my neck when I made a panic cough, he was going to kill me and I couldn't fight him, he was to strong just like he was last time.

"Chris No! Please stop!" I was screaming it still crying hard when the pain was splitting my body apart and I was shaking, my whole body was when I was crying beginning him stop, but he never did.

"Andrea!?" I was hearing Bucks voice when I was shaking my head, no! no I didn't want to hear him, he had seen me getting fucking raped and he had just watched with Sarah that he loved more than he ever had loved me! "Andrea, please wake up!" I was still crying when I was squinting my eyes hard, not wanting to see Buck when I felt his hands on my shoulders, he was cold and I wanted to die knowing that he came from his house, that he had been f*****g Sarah and I was here and alone, just like I always was!

"Get the fuck out! Get out Buck, fuck you!" I was screaming it still not looking at him when I felt his grip around my shoulders get tighter and I made a snarl when he pulled me closer, why the f**k was he even here for!? he never wanted me, he just wanted to f**k me! just like everybody else and then f*****g see me get hurt and don't care, fuck him and anyone else that ever had done that!

"Andy baby please... please stop... stop it... it's me... shit... baby what happened?" he sounded so warm and worried when I was against his chest making me want to start to scream at him more, but I couldn't, I was too weak to fight back, I always was. "You saw me Buck, why didn't you help me!? why!?" I finally opened my eyes, feeling the tears that was still rolling down to my ears and neck when he stared at me shocked like he had no idea what I was talking about that f*****g liar!

"I don't know what you are talking about?? Baby please just tell me what happened, did you dream something bad?" he was trying to catch my face with his hands when I jerked back, I didn't want his hands on me, he had fucked Sarah and he thought I was a whore! "Don't you fucking lie to me! I saw you with her, fucking holding her and you didn't help me Buck, he hurt me just like last time and you did nothing!" I was taking small shallow breaths, my eyes roaming the room when I wanted to get away from him, I never ever wanted to see his face again when he was losing the worried look in his eyes and just got a stern scowl hearing me stuttering my words when I was hiding in my hands, why didn't he just f**k off when I told him to, I hated him!

"Andrea, please! Please it was just a dream! I would never let you get hurt and you know that!?" He was still in his costume, just staring at me worried when I was quiet, observing him when he was rubbing my arms gently up and down, was it a dream, was it?? "Buck.... You..." I stopped when he pulled me close again and I didn't know what to think, in my head I was starting to understand that he was telling me the truth, that it was just a dream but my heart and body was still hurting and I wasn't talking about my stab wound, no it was that overwhelming feeling of being rejected, tossed away and betrayed that was still holding me f*****g hostage even if Buck was stroking my hair when I was leaned against him and just stared into the wall behind me in our bedroom, it was so fucking real!

"I know... I know... I heard you... I was sleeping on the couch since I dint think you wanted me to come in here after I acted like a damn maniac..." he said it guilty when I made a slow nod, yeah he really was acting scary when he was going overprotective on Sophia, I never wanted to see him like that ever again.

"I'm sorry Andy baby.... I'm sorry I left you... Shit... I went back but you were gone when I had dropped off Sophia and you didn't pick up your phone. I have never driven so f*****g fast to find you and Kira sleeping..." he stopped when I made a small smile feeling Buck sway me back and forth the slightest like I was a baby or Kira, it was nice, and I didn't hate it.

"Buck...... I... I..." my voice still shaking when he pulled me back, looking at me with his warm grey eyes, he loved me so much and I felt myself getting even more calm, he wasn't the man in the dream, whoever that was he didn't love me, Buck did.

He made a trusting grin when I was still shaking the slightest, the pain in my stomach still was hard but it wasn't like when I was dreaming, when my whole body felt like it was splitting apart from being attacked by Chris... I snapped my eyes down... oh god... oh god I never ever wanted to remember that part ever again, not what it was like being helpless and scared, trapped with no ways of escaping, he had hurt me more than James ever had done that way.

"Buck.... you... you love me, right?" I looked up again unsure when he made a surprised frown like I was talking crazy and I know I was, but right now I just needed to hear him say that.

"Yeah... yeah I love you Andrea, I love you with all my heart...." He pointed on his chest where the heart on his costume still was making me do a smile again, it was weak but there it was, a smile.

"I love you so much and I'm sorry for what happened, I just want to keep you safe and be with you and Kira, I just want that bastard to be dead and for us to live happily ever after, we deserve that..." he made a grin now when I did one too... slowly feeling the dream leaving my body. Buck's warm hands on my back was helping too, like he was pushing away the ghosts of my past and I never wanted to look back ever again.

"I love you Buck, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you..." I was still hurt from the dream, and he looked like he could see it, how affected I was when he scooted closer, made me lay down in his arms and just felt his fingers over my hair again, I was so glad he was home and where he belonged, with me.

"Don't you worry about that part, I told you baby that you aren't getting rid of me that easy..." he made a chuckle that I smiled at, yeah, he did tell me that and I loved him.

"You did tell me that Buck..." I curled myself closer, feeling the heat of his body when I closed my eyes, exhaling heavy and letting my body relax, melting together with him when he kissed my head making me smile more, how lucky was I to have him? "I love you Buck..." I said it happy when he made a chuckle and kissed my head again, he was the best man I could ever have.