Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 146

I hated this. So much.

Me and Buck standing on the doorstep to Sarah's house with me holding a cobbler that I made after working late and Buck holding Kira fidgeting around in a dress that was pink and fluffy, she loved it and I swear I never ever was going to get her to wear anything

else than that dress.

I was wearing a burgundy dress that made my hair look darker and my eyes pop if I might say so myself with small black heels and Buck was wearing one of the three shirt he rotated when he was one a date with me or did something like this, having thanksgiving dinner with his family and then me and Kira.

"Deep breaths Andrea. Deep f*****g breaths." I was whispering it throughout my teeth that was smiling already when the door opened, Buck wanted to just step inside and he was mumbling something about ringing the doorbell that he had installed was stupid but I didn't care, this was not his home anymore and we were not just strolling in like we belonged here!

"Oh, hi you guys, look at you! Buck why did you ring the bell for??" Sarah was standing there, she was wearing a blue dress and her hair up with blonde curls down, she looked f*****g fabulous, and I was feeling like a trash bag, a burgundy trash bag with rolls that made me look fat when I wasn't wearing any spanks, fuck! Why didn't I wear them?!

"See, I told you Andy?" Buck was looking at me like I was supposed to get it when I did another strained smile, wanting to kill Buck for taking Sarah's word for it when she made a trying smile towards me after smirking at Bucks grin.

"Yeah, we are all family here, right?" she was still smiling when Buck pushed past me, going inside having Kira along when I walked after them slowly, this was going to be a long, long day for me.

Kira had already found Sophia when I walked into the kitchen were, holy shit she was ambitious! I thought she was a veterinarian?? when the f**k did she has time to make all this food!?

"So, where can I put this?" I said it awkwardly holding my cobbler, it wasn't even that pretty, it was just a damn crust and some apples, not even a pie when Sarah looked up from cutting and made a smile again at me, I didn't want to see from her beautiful face. "oh, just put it there amongst the others..." she was pointing with her big knife when I made a small nod and when over to put it on the counter seeing the braided pastry and small details, fuck I really needed to step up my game in cooking and baking it seemed if this was what Buck was used too.

"You want some help?" I said it not meaning it, not a damn word when she was shaking her head to my relief, oh thank God. She understood how much I hated her, every second in her company was hell.

"No... I got this Andrea, just grab a beer and go sit with the boys..." she pointed to the beers that was in ice and I made a frown, beer? I didn't even like beer that much to be honest.

"You have wine, right?" I took a glass when she made a small nod not looking up when I took the wine bottle from her side that she already had opened, red. I didn't love red, but it would have to do.

"Thanks." I did a small sip when she looked up this time and gave me one of her sad, guilty smiles I hated, why did she have to be so goddam perfect!? It would have been so much easier to justify hating her if she was rude or obnoxious, but she wasn't! no, she was classy and charming and she had a way with people I just didn't, like Buck. I could see why people would have called them the perfect couple back in school.

"yeah, don't worry about it..." she looked up this time stop cutting when I did a small smile, the smallest one I ever made and walked out from the kitchen.

This house was big, and I mean it was really big! I have no idea how Buck had made this, or he said he had help but still, look at it! It was amazing and if I didn't hate Sarah so much and that it was part of his past, I would have loved to live somewhere like this, modern, yet comforting. F**k. I really hated her now.

"Baby, can I get another beer?" I was still standing in the hallway when Buck was calling out when I made a sigh, why was he yelling like he still owned this place, he didn't. Sarah had bought him out before he met me, and he had spent it all on his firm and probably beer knowing Buck.

"Coming!" I was saying it back when I was just about to turn around, going back into the kitchen when I saw Sarah, already walking out having a beer in her hand when she was just about to walk past me when our eyes met and she stopped when I was just staring at her, was she f*****g crazy or what!?

"Oh... oh god... Andrea... I'm so sorry... I didn't think..." she stopped when I was still staring her down, she didn't think what?? What the fuck didn't she think when she was walking past me with a beer to Buck that was my husband, not hers!

"give me the fucking beer!" I said it hissing when she didn't even look at me when she just handed it over and I knew that she wanted to start crying, but f**k if I cared, she was still going after Buck, she was and maybe she didn't even know it herself, but this was the f*****g proof that she still loved him and I was not letting her get him back!

She didn't say anything when I took it from her hand harsh and started to walk away, I couldn't even deal with this shit anymore and we only been here for five minutes!

Buck was sitting in the armchair when I walked inside, he loved that thing and it was probably where he had been sitting his whole damn life before he met me, that bastard.

"Here." I said it snappy when he looked up confused and slightly annoyed from the game that was on when I made a huff when he just raised his eyebrows wondering what happened when I was gritting my teeth even more, how the fuck could he think leaving me and Sarah would end good? In any universe??

"Hey, you are blocking the view, move lady!" I turned my head when I heard the dark voice that made me freeze up inside, I had been so focused on not killing Buck when I got inside that I hadn't even seen him. Jonah.

He was sitting on the couch wide legged, wearing a suit and a smirk when our eyes met over the coffee table, and I know my jaw was open and I couldn't stop it. Look at him.

He looked fantastic in that blue suit that made him even more mysterious than he already was when I still was just staring him down not being able to stop myself from doing it, even if Buck was sitting just a feet away.

"Are you deaf or what? I said move?" he said it more scolding when I finally snapped away from my frozen state, holy fuck! Jonah was here and he was staring at me angry like he really gave a shit about the football game, I know he didn't, he wasn't a sports guy, well not like Buck and his sons anyway.

"Andrea, just fucking move! I can't see because of that fat ass of yours..." Mitch's voice faded out when Buck was looking at him like he was going to regret saying that when I just moved fast away, walked past Buck that was standing up now, wanting to go after me and still wanted to kill Mitch for being so fucking rude to me.

"Andy, wait!" Buck was shouting it after me when I just kept on walking, I mean this house was huge and I knew that there had to be somewhere I could hide to cry when I felt the sniffles pushing against my chest hard, like a force I really couldn't control when I finally found a door and walked inside, it was the garage but I didn't care when I just sat down onto the steps that was to the car Sarah was driving, it was flawless, just like she was.

I was leaning my elbows on my knees having my head propped up when I was staring at the ground feeling my tears that feel down on the concrete floor, why was I even here? This whole thing was just a set-up for Sarah to show Buck how much of a great wife and mother she was and that he should take her back, nothing more.

The door opened up behind me and I made a sigh, Buck was here, and he was going to tell me that he had told Mitch off and that I was good enough as I was and all that other crap he told me when I didn't feel good, that I was beautiful.

"Hey." I looked up the slightest seeing Jonah sitting beside me, he was also leaning onto his kneecaps but unlike me he had this straight posture and he stared into the wall for a couple of seconds before meeting my eyes with blue green ones, great. So, he was here too, this night was going to be great for me.

"you're not fat." He said it simple and just made a smile at me that made me feel the old feeling in my chest, the small flutter when he was looking at me like that, like I was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"I'm not crying over that, I don't care... I don't fucking care if I'm fat Jonah..." I said it not really believing it, of course I cared, but I wasn't hurt by Mitch calling me fat really, it just was the final push I needed to walk away from them all, at least for a little while. "Good, because you're not, I mean personally I think its too bad, your a*s looks nice but your tits....." He made a chuckle when I smacked his arm seeing that teasing glint in his eyes, oh god he was so immature sometimes that idiot.

"Jonah, why did you marry Shailene, I mean really, why did you do it, and not because of your Ma, I just want to know if it was me or... I don't know..." I felt bad again when he lost his playfulness and just made a shrug like he didn't know when I frowned, oh he knew he just didn't want to f*****g tell me that coward.

"Yeah, you do... don't pretend you don't know.... you loved me and still you did it, why?" I know my voice was just as hurt as my face when he clenched his jaw and looked away, so he really didn't want to answer me than, what a surprise.... I turned my head away, I didn't want to push him, I was to drain already from having the standoff with Sarah that was just basically me being a bitch and her being sorry, again.

"I don't know...maybe I'm just a coward like you always tell me.... I got fucking scared and .... Andrea.... I have no fucking clue how to be a dad, you seen me with Kira?? I can't even make her fucking like me, and she isn't even three years old?? I'm not made for this shit, not like that old timer you married..." he didn't even sound angry just really confused and hurt, was he hurt that Kira didn't like him? was that it?

"She doesn't know you.... and.... To be honest Jonah... you do look kind of scary when you are just staring at her, not even making a smile like a damn psycho, you tell me what you would feel about that if you where her age?" I had starting out too, making him look back at me like he really hadn't thought about that part, oh I knew he hadn't that immature jerk.

"Fuck! You are fucking right... I just.... I don't know what the fuck to say to her?" he said it nervous when I made a smirk, look at that, the almighty Jonah was scared of his own daughter, it would have been funny if it wasn't just as sad and breaking my heart at the same time.

"Well... she like princesses and unicorns and my little pony... you pick one of those and she wont stop talking..." He looked at sceptical, like how the f**k would he ever talk about that making me snicker, he looked so cute being lost and it was bad that I was smirking at him, but I couldn't stop, and I didn't even try either.

"Right... so what if I just buy her a pony instead?" he made a chuckle when I snorted, yeah sure he could do that, but I wasn't going to take care of it for her.

"Yeah... maybe just start with something small, like a smile and tell her she looks like a princess, she really likes that..." I was still snickering when he dropped his own smile making me get nervous when he stared into my eyes seriously like he wanted to tell me something and I was holding my breath when our faces was so close, to close for it to be innocent when I felt his hand on my face, the long fingers that was caressing my skin slowly and f**k me if I wasn't feeling the shivers just like I used to when he was touching me like I was made from glass.

"She is a princess, Andrea.... I...." The door that was opened behind us made me pull back and I knew that I was dead! I was dead ten times over when it didn't matter who was standing on the other side of that door saw us, saw that I was about to lean in and kiss him feeling my chest imploding and my heart stopping when I heard it.

"Mommy?" she was standing right there in the door, and I let out the big breath of air I was holding in, I was so fucking sure it was Buck and then he would divorce me right on the f*****g spot for almost giving into Jonah, f**k I was so stupid!

"Hey baby.... Come meet mommy's friend..." I was holding my arms out when she was still in her dress and walked slowly up to me, avoiding Jonah at all costs when he just looked sad making me feel even worse, I wanted him to be in her life, somehow and it was fucking selfish of me wasn't it, to keep him away from her?

"This is Jonas and he told me that he really, I mean really loves Elsa, just like you do!" my voice was cheerful and Jonah made a face, he didn't even know who Elsa was but that was okay, he would learn to hate those songs just as much as me in the future.... I made an evil smirk that he saw when Kira's eyes popped when Jonah smiled big at her this time nodding making me feel calmer, well it was about f*****g time that he was just as charming to her like he was to everyone else.

"You do??" Kira was really happy about that, she loved that movie, I had seen it so many times that I could every fucking line and if they ever needed someone to fill in the spot, I was the girl to call.

"Hell yes, I love all that! Elsa girl, ponies, and unicorns....." He said it almost asking me when he still was looking at Kira that was in my arms and it felt so good, it felt so f*****g good seeing Jonah making an effort to get to know Kira, wanting to be in her life in the only way he could, as a friend.

"Maybe we should invite Jonas over, so you can watch frozen together?" I made a smirk again looking at Jonah's unknowing face not even aware that I was trapping him in the endless doom of hearing songs that made me want to... well.... I really didn't like them anymore. Nope he just looked really happy that unknowing happy idiot.

"Yeah, let's do that, I can bring some popcorn or what do you like Kira?" Jonah was saying her name slightly different then I did when she made a face like she heard it too, and she didn't know if she liked it or not.

"Candy, I want candy." She made a hard statement when I started to laugh and Jonah made a big smile again, he loved this, I mean how couldn't he? Finally getting to spend some time with his kid that he had bailed on for so long, yeah, he should be fucking happy! "Okay, candy it is then...." He was still smiling like he was the happiest guy alive, and I felt that way too, I felt fucking belonging and it was so good, almost like an addiction sitting here inside the garage of a woman that had f****d my husband and I couldn't be happier than right now seeing Jonah and Kira interacting.

"I'll snap you..." I said it still having a smile on my face when the door behind us opened up again and I looked back, seeing my smile dropped when it was Mitch and he looked pissed seeing me and Jonah sitting her together, not even caring that Kira was in my lap so it wasn't like anything would had happened, I would never do anything when she was in the same room ever, and I loved Buck!

"Dinner's ready." He just said that, like he saw something even if I didn't kiss Jonah or even did more than just sat next to him and we both got up and I refused his hand when Kira was looking at him smiling like she was really happy she had found another grown up that was going to be at her beck and call, just like Sophia was.

"Alright...." I just said that taking Kira along when Mitch was still waiting by the door, giving me a stern face like he was watching me when I ignored him, I didn't give a shit about what he thought had happened, Buck was no better, worse seeing that he was sitting in the dinning room and having small talk with the woman he cheated on me with.

"Jonas, you want to hit up those bitched we f****d last night?" he looked at Jonah that just made a chough when I shifted my eyes back at him, what?? Did he f**k some girl last night and now he was here and tried to get his way with me??Posted by FindNovel.net. "Yeah, I dono... just.... Let's just eat...I'm fucking starving..." Jonah was looking guilty when I made a sigh, I shouldn't be surprised, I shouldn't be fucking surprised he was fucking around and still I was, I was so f*****g stupid, f**k him!

"Yeah... let's eat..." I said it grimmer when Mitch made a nod, seeing me walk after Jonah and holding Kira's hand with his arms crossed showing us that he was watching, this was going to be a great dinner, absolutely great!