Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 157

Jonah was sitting in a darker car. It was suspiciously ordinary for him, not the expensive blue sports model I used to see him in when I got out from my own one and took the golf bag. Swinging it over my shoulder and walking up to his side when he didn't even get

out to talk to me, that bastard. He saw me and still ignored me like we didn't have our baby kidnapped!

"Jonah, you fucker!" I snarled when he looked up from his phone, and I stopped. He was tired. Same as everyone else, the look of absolute despair was on his face, so he was just as helpless as me then. That was not giving me hope for what he had planned when he asked me to come to this spot behind a warehouse that wasn't in use right now because of the season.

"Andrea." He said my name hollow making me cringe. Why the f**k did he sound like that?! It was scaring me more than anything, had something happened to Kira? Did James hurt her!?

"Please, for f**k's sake Jonah, tell me what the hell is happening!?" I was still leaning over, talking into the car, when he sighed and got out of the car, making me follow, having the car between us when I was staring back at him, confused. Why the f**k didn't he say something to me?!

"Jonah, I swear that if you don't f*****g open your mouth, I'm going to kill you!" I was already going for the bag when his blue-green eyes finally registered that I was doing something. I stopped my own movements when he pulled up the gun, and I was still unsure what was happening when it was aimed at me.

Jonah was aiming the gun at me, looking grim and as if he didn't have any problem pulling the trigger, making me food for worms within seconds.

"Don't," he said grimmer when I didn't understand and dropped the bag when he made a nod for me to do it, more out of shock than I was scared. Was Jonah really going to shoot me? Was that it? He f*****g told me he loved me, but he wasn't afraid to kill me, was that right!?

"Or what? Are you going to kill me? Is that it?" I said it back, calm making him flinch like he always did when he heard something that he didn't want to hear, that selfish bastard. He thought he was so fucking, though, and still, he couldn't even hide that small sign of weakness that always was his biggest tell of all, not to me.

"Yes." His voice was slightly trembling when I made a smirk. Oh, was that right? Then what the f**k was he waiting for?

"Fine. Kill me. I don't care." He clenched his jaw, cocking the gun to ensure I knew he was serious. I knew he was. I just wanted to see how the fuck he this to me could do. I wasn't afraid of him or anyone else. I just wanted my baby back, and If Jonah was in my way, he was going to f*****g get it.

"Andrea, don't do this. Don't make it fucking harder than it already is. This is the only way to get Kira back, and I am taking it." He said, begging me when I made a slight chuckle. So this was for Kira; what did killing me help her? I was her mother, and he told me he didn't want to rip her from me, but he lied. He always did that fucker!

"I want Kira back too, so why the fuck are you pointing that shit against me? If you are going to kill me, Jonah, then fucking just kill me! otherwise, stand the fuck down!" I had come closer, leaving almost no more than a few feet between us, when he was making a sound that I knew was crying. That stupid kid, was he going to cry over that he had to kill me!? What the f**k kind of mobster was he anyway!?

"I fucking tried, okay?! I tried to get Ma to release me from everything, Shailene and all that shit, but she won't let me! Kira is the only one that can come back with me, Andrea. You get that, don't you? I can't leave her here with you!? I love her!" He was shaking more when I felt the rage flaming up over my legs, arms, torso, and head fucking everywhere! I heard he was here to take my child, the one he never wanted, and was too afraid to stand up against his mother!

"You fucking coward! Look at you, fucking pathetic! Crying like a kid over having to do this, you are a grown man Jonah; when the fuck are you going to take a fucking stand against your Ma!?" I was taking one step closer, my eyes trained on his gun and switching up to his eyes that were hurt, ashamed because he knew I was telling him the truth. He wasn't a nineteen-year-old boy anymore. No! he was twenty-three and a f*****g adult that was supposed to be the father of my baby. How the f**k has that ever happened? I don't even know seeing him, all my love being smothered by his hate for taking Kira. He didn't get it did he? I would do anything for her, anything!

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up, you fucking fat bitch!" He was screaming it now when the gun was right at me, just him and me with three steps between us, which was one for him, that long bastard!

"You love that I'm fat, and you know it, fucking bastard!" I screamed back. My voice was hoarse and tired but still had a fire in it, he could have f*****g told me the truth, and we could have fixed this together, but no! he went behind my back like he always did! "Go ahead, go fucking ahead and shoot me, Jonah! Because that is the only way you will ever stop me from getting back, Kira, you hear me!?" He was making a bigger scowl, still pointing the barrel at me. What the fuck was he waiting for, fucking do it! "FUCK!" I took the last step and felt the end of the cold metal right between my boobs. Well, here I was if he wanted to kill me, not even fighting back.

"I love you, Andrea, I fucking love you! I can't...... I can't....." he was panting hard when I took the last step, that immature son of a bitch! Why did he even try? He wasn't tough enough to go against his evil mother. How the f**k did he ever think he could ever kill me? "I love you too...." I said it sterner when I pushed the gun down and smacked his head with my other hand. What the f**k was he thinking anyway? Shoot me?! I was Kira's mother, for fuck sake!

"I'm sorry... okay?! I'm fucking sorry..." he was rubbing his hand over where I had smacked him, stupid goddam Jonah. He was dominant against everyone else, but as soon as you pushed past the cracks in his armor, he was a lost boy.

"You better be fucking idiot!" I hissed it having his gun in my hand now, I should kill him and be over with it, but I fucking loved him, that bastard!

"Andrea... please, listen to me... I can't get Ma off my back... I can't...she wants me to stay with Shailene and take Kira back home. I thought I could finally convince her to let me go...." Jonah was sniveling when I just made a sigh, so he lied to me again. "So, you're still married and all that shit?" I was holding the gun down; some of me wanted to shoot him, but what would that help? It wasn't him that was the problem here, not really. No, it was his Ma, Fiona Sullivan.

"Yes.... yes... I'm sorry, baby.... I didn't want to do it... you know I love you...." he was taking his arm around me, and I let him. I still had feelings for him, but it wasn't like before.... A part of me had changed a lot since I left him, and I couldn't return. I couldn't. "So, fucking tell me then. For once, just be honest, and maybe we can work together and not just stab me in the back like you always do." He looked worse when I said that and pulled me closer. Standing with him and having a gun in my hand was bizarre, and this was not what I had imagined myself being four years ago when we met each other.

"Fuck.... Fuck, you are right... you always are......fuck." He stroked my hair, making me smile. I was right, and he was stupid to never listen to me. I was older, and he was a kid, even if he was a killer and all that other shit.

"I got the fucker, and he is coming here with Kira.... Andrea, fuck... he wants you and..." I smirked. So he was sacrificing me to have Kira back. Why didn't he just f*****g say that instead of pulling a gun on me?

"Well then, trade me." I said it was cold, making him flinch. He didn't get it. I wanted to get to James and get Kira home. I didn't care if I died to get her back to safety. I would do anything.

"What?!" Jonah couldn't believe that someone would do that, and it would probably be impossible in his world because he wanted this to end with James dead. I was no different, only more willing to do whatever it took to get Kira back.

"You heard me. I said, trade me for Kira." I looked up at his handsome face. Shit, he was so good-looking. That was the worst part. He was charming and attractive. Which made it so much easier for him to be a fucking coward and still get away with all the shit he did against me and any other girl out there.

"You sure...He is not going to play house no more with you, baby...." Jonah's grip became tighter. I didn't care, wanted this, and tried to get my girl back.

"I don't fucking care what he does to me, don't you get that, Jonah? I am doing this for Kira. I would die for her in a heartbeat." My eyes stared into his. My mother never had my back, but I would never stand down when it came to my child. She was my everything. He didn't answer, just stared at me like I had said something that he had never thought, that Kira was my life. She wasn't just my child or Jonah's daughter; she was the reason why I got out of bed in the morning, why the sun shined outside my window, and why my life was perfect, no matter how awful the rest of it was.

"Okay. We trade you then and..." Jonah didn't get any further when I grabbed his hoodie and dragged him down closer to my face, feeling the sweet mint on my skin, making me feel something I always did. I still loved him. Always would. "You get Kira back to Buck. Jonah, are you fucking hearing me? You will not get Kira back to your fucking Ma, and then what? She knows I am her mother, and she isn't a baby! whatever Fiona has planned for her, Kira is the one who is going to suffer!" I was still clutching him when he made a gulp like I couldn't see that I was getting to him. was he actually that stupid that he thought he could just take Kira and tell her that he was her Da and that Shailene was her new Ma? She didn't even know what that meant! "I can't just...." He was starting to talk when I kissed him hard. It felt so good when he pressed his lips back, the taste of sweet mint getting more intense, and I opened my mouth for his tongue. I wasn't going to fuck him, but I sure as hell wanted to kiss him if this was the last time I saw him again.

"Consider it my last wish, Jonah. You make sure Kira gets back to Buck. He is her daddy." I was panting when I looked up again, seeing his intense eyes. He was confused. He wanted to obey Fiona because she was his Ma, but I had been his girlfriend, and Kira was his daughter. He had to take a f*****g stand for once!

"Don't say shit like that to my face! I'm going to come for you; as soon as I can get Ma to listen, I can..." he stopped like he didn't even believe that himself when I smirked back sarcastically at his speech. She wasn't going to lift a damn finger to help me out from James's claws. I knew that just as much as he did.

"Fuck!" He was growling when I kissed him again. This time it was light, and I made sure to leave a couple more kisses around his face when he was still leaning down. I would love him forever, even if he was a stupid kid with anger issues and a dark past. My soulmate.

"I trust you will do the right thing, Jonah; you always do...." I snickered when he was still frowning for someone who wanted to kill me. He sure wasn't happy about me going along with James, that he hated with all his might, maybe even more than Buck, to be honest.

"I don't... I fucking don't, Andrea.... You bring out that in me..... you make me better... how the fuck am I supposed to live on like you never existed?" I made a snivel hearing that. I didn't know either. All I knew was that if he got Kira back to Buck, I would owe him more than I already did for the rest of my life.

"You just go on living, Jonah.... Just get Kira back for me, okay?" I already heard the van that was driving up when I felt my heart starting to slam harder against my chest, Kira!

"Kira!?" Jonah was holding me harder when I started to scream even before the van had stopped. I wanted to get the gun right out I had taken from Jonah and kill that fucker behind the wheel! Kira was sitting next to him when I raised my arm, aiming at his smirking face, when Jonah pushed my arm back again, hissing at me.

"Are you fucking crazy? He is probably prepared for that shit! You don't think I don't want to pop that fucker? We can't. Kira!" he was pointing at Kira, that saw me and started to wave. She looked happy and excited, making me take a deep breath. Oh, thank god! James hadn't hurt her! that was what I had been most afraid of; Kira was hurt and scared. She looked fine when James walked out, making me see his hand holding something to Jonah's frown. What the f**k was that anyway?!

"Oh fuck. Motherfucker..." I didn't follow when Jonah was taking up his phone, typing fast, and I saw Tom standing behind the building, holding a rifle and looking grim. Oh, f**k was I happy to see him even if he was going to kill people? I wanted that so much! "Jonah!?" I stared back at Tom when he wasn't hiding, earning a snarl back like I was stupid. I wasn't stupid just because I didn't get why the fuck Tom or Jonah wouldn't just blast the shit out of the smirking James. That was opening the door for Kira with one hand, still clutching whatever he had in the other one.

My heart dropped when I saw her tiny body covered in a f*****g vest with what I could only assume was explosive, that cowardly motherfucker!

"James, I am going to fucking kill you!" He made a bigger smirk hearing my terrified shriek. He knew what I feared, and he had been my best friend!

"Wow... take it easy, Andy.... You are scaring Kira, isn't that right, princess?" He looked down at Kira, who gave a slight nod. she was standing there like she had been told to do that. She was listening to him for some reason. She never did that except for Buck, and he wasn't here!

"Yeah, Mommy...." She smiled when she said that, making me calmer again, I thought James had threatened her to stay, but she seemed just fine with James, the worst man alive in the world!

"Kira, baby! Are you okay?! Did he hurt you!?" I moved closer to her and James, making his face drop the smile and holding up his hand when Jonah stopped me looking terrified. What the f**k was going on!?

"One step closer, and the vest I made for Kira releases all the glitter I have been saving for her...." His eyes found mine when I made a whimper. No! No, he wasn't going to do that! He was going to take me and leave Kira over to Jonah.

"Why are you crying, mommy? I found my real daddy..." she stopped looking up at James again, which made a genuine smile, this time hearing her soft, thrilled voice. She thought James was her real father. What kind of f****d up game was that!? "You motherfucker!" Jonah sneered when I made another surprising face. Oh god, what was James playing here? I just wanted to get Kira away from him and his delusional mind. I didn't care if he raped or killed me as long as Kira was safe!

"Hey, watch your mouth! I told Kira the truth, that I am her real daddy and that we are just here to get mommy back...." James stared at Jonah now when I was shaking my head. No! that was not the plan, I was supposed to go, and Kira was supposed to stay with Jonah and get back to Buck!

"no fucking way she is coming with you. Hand my kid the fuck over as we agreed, or I'm telling my man here to make sure you are dead before you hit the f*****g ground!" Jonah had pushed me behind him like that would help anything, but it didn't! James had Kira f*****g hostage, and she didn't even know, walking around just one second from being blown to nothing!

"James, please!" I was begging him when he did a small smile. He knew that I would do anything for him to keep Kira safe, any-fucking-thing!

"Kira, don't we want mommy to come and be with us like a family?" James completely ignored what Jonah and I were saying when I cried more, he was a fucking maniac, and he had my baby, please I just wanted him to die and her to be safe!

"yeah, mommy, daddy told me... that we are a family..." she made a bigger smile to my tears. She was still dressed in the same dress when James took her. She looked so fucking innocent because she was. She had no idea that James was a f*****g serial killer and that Jonah was a mobster and her dad wanted to take her back to his cold mother. I was the one to blame for all this. I should have run further, hidden, instead of just thinking that James or Jonah would ever let me go.

"He isn't your daddy Kira. I am!" Jonah was losing patience, and he couldn't take it anymore when Kira made a face, she didn't understand, and I was feeling even worse. I should have told her, but I didn't want to. Buck was her only daddy, and I wanted it to stay that way!

"one more word, kid, and she gets it...." James was scowling when Jonah made a growl. He was sick of this shit, and I was scared to death seeing that Kira was holding James's hand. This was going to stop right now!

"James, please. Just take me, do it! Take me and let her go, please!" I was taking a step further again, not letting go for a second of James's grey-blue eyes that had so much love for me before. He was still in there, somewhere... I just needed him to get back to that person again.

"I was going to.... But I don't want to anymore... and I want Kira to be with her daddy...." He smirked again when Kira was swinging his hand. She was so happy to have found her real father. Oh god, I didn't even know she was feeling that way, I thought she was okay with Buck being her daddy, but she wanted to know... oh god...

"I can't let you have her.... James... just listen to me, do whatever you want with me. I won't fight back, I won't run away, I won't try anything if you do this for me..." I took one more step to James's suspicious eyes, he did love me, or he thought he did, and I was not letting him get Kira back to whatever shithole he had been holding up in.

"Fuck no, you aren't!" Jonah was taking my arm when I shook him off, fuck him! he was not stopping me from getting Kira back to safety! My voice was shaking, and my heart was speeding inside my chest. All I wanted was to get him to understand that I was serious. I would do anything for him, no matter how fucked up he was.

"Stay the fuck back!" James took one finger off whatever he was holding, making me cry in despair, and scaring Kira, which started to sniffle. Seeing me scared, I would die if something happened to her!

"Jonah! Let me go! Let me fucking go!" I was growling when he fumbled after me like he couldn't accept that I was going over to James, sealing my fate and probably my own death, but I didn't care. I wasn't afraid of dying, only of seeing my baby being hurt. "Andera, no! no, don't fucking go to him, fuck I love you, baby!" he was still coming after me when I turned my head, making him stop with my scowl and deep eyes. If he didn't stop right now and got Kira hurt, he would know just how much I could hurt him. "I don't love you, never did, Jonah." I said it back hard when he stopped making a whimper when James made a slight chuckle hearing me saying that, and I stared hard back at Jonah. That looked so fucking hurt, that fucking idiot! I loved him forever, and all it took was me telling him once that I didn't, that son of a bitch... I was wiping my tears when I mouthed fucker at him fast before turning around and making his eyes shift slightly, to my relief. He got it.

"Fucking bitch, I love you, and you just used me, didn't you?! Just like you used everyone else, took my kid, and ran. I still want her back, Kira. You hear me? You are coming with me back home. I am your Da!" Jonah sounded like the way he was when I met him, dark and brutal. Kira started to cry when I finally reached her. Looking at James, released her with a scoff, and I finally had her in my arms again.

"Kira!" I was crying into her hair and her neck. She smelled so good, like I never wanted to let her go when James was staring down at me, still holding a device I had never seen before. However, Jonah had still powerless and standing where I had left him. "Mommy..." she was just saying that when she was crying. She had missed me, and I had been so fucking worried that all my feelings were just pouring out. I loved her so much, my poor baby that had been dragged into this life and hadn't done anything to deserve being used like she was a pawn in some fucker's mind. I was so fucking sorry about that!

"Kira, Kira... my princess Kira... I love you... I love you so much. Whatever anyone ever says, mommy loves you... alright? Mommy loves you, but I have to go... I have to go, baby, and you are going back with Jonas, and he will take you to Daddy, alright? You are going home, and I am coming back as fast as I can...." I was still crying when she didn't want that. She didn't want me to leave when I got up shaky, still having her in my arms, walking over to Jonah and stopping in front of him, hugging her harder. I was so happy she was safe. That was the most important thing!

"Jonah... please... don't let me fucking down again... please!" I was staring at him desperately when he made a desperate face seeing me cry so hard I could barely breathe. He had to f*****g do this for me, give me his f*****g word that he would do what I had asked him, take her back to Buck.

"Fine. Fine.... but I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up on you, Andrea, you hear me?! I love you..." he whispered when I made the slightest nod, yeah, I got it, and I did trust him. even after everything.

"Andy, my hand is getting restless. I might need to stretch it soon..." I sobbed when I heard James, and he was running out of patience or didn't want me to plan something with Jonah.

"Alright... I'm coming.... I'm fucking coming, James...." I made another sobbing sound, not wanting to hand Kira over. I was so happy she was safe, but knowing that I would never see her sweet face again, hear her voice and watch her grow up was making me break apart more than I ever had felt in my whole life before I had her.

"I'm going to fix this, Andrea... look at me! I'm going to take you back. You will come home again to Kira; you got me!?" Jonah made me look up when I couldn't breathe or even see from my tears when I was still clutching onto Kira, that was still in her vest, omg I was going to kill James. I was!

"Please, just take her to Buck..." my arms, not wanting to let go when Jonah made a frown hearing him say Buck's name when he took over the screaming Kira. She knew Jonah, but this was not a fun moment of watching the tablet together. No, she was watching me leave her, and it was breaking my heart!

"Mommy!" she was screaming after me when I turned fast, closed my eyes, and started to walk away. Right now. It was the worst moment I had ever had in my whole life felt like I was falling apart, knowing that I had to leave the girl that was my heart back with her father. Not even knowing if he would keep his promise and take her back to Buck.

"You could bring her with you, as I said... I like her...." James made another smile that made me shake my head fast. No! he did not have Kira; she was not his to have!

"You sure?" he made a smile again. He looked at Kira, screaming when Jonah was walking away with her, screaming and kicking with all her might that her tiny body could do against him, which was nothing. She wouldn't have stood a chance against James, and neither did I.

"I'm sure," I said, it colder, Kira's voice disappearing when Jonah had to wrestle her into his car. Tom walked out and sat in the driver seat with Jonah looking up at me one last time like he wanted to do something, but he couldn't. Nobody could. I was doomed. "Goodbye, princess..." I didn't wipe my eyes when I turned and sat down in the white van that James had gotten, f*****g cliché like he was.

"Ready?" James made a snicker when I nodded. Yes. I was ready.

"Good, because you and I, Andy, are going to have some fun...." I didn't flinch hearing his sadistic tone of voice, or when he took his hand on my thigh, squeezing it hard to the point that it was hurting me, I had no idea who he really was. "Yeah..." I said hollow, ignoring the bruise starting to form from James's hand when he took off and drove out onto the road again. Please, dear god, just make sure that Kira is safe.