Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 158

James steered off the road, just a few miles outside town, and made me dump my phone and purse that I had strapped over my chest. He stared at me, smirking like I was just where he wanted me to be, with him. "Strip." I flinched hearing the command. He sounded so different in his voice and way of speaking to me, and overall, he sounded nothing like the man I had trusted with my everything. I even left him with Kira! "James...." He snapped his eyes to me, looking around for anyone to follow us, scowling that I wasn't obeying his orders. What had happened to him to be like this?!

"Strip, or I'm going to be so f*****g sorry that I just killed you right here, Andrea." He growled the last part, making me nod hopelessly, okay. So, he was serious then. Whatever we had didn't mean shit to him, just like everybody else I had ever loved. "Fucker..." He looked up at my mumbling when I was undressing outside and walked around the car, staring at me standing there in underwear. Well, I hope he was f*****g happy seeing me like this! A dream come true in his world when I hurled the blouse into the ground, making him chuckle like this was funny! Him being this f*****g psycho that had kidnapped my daughter and wanted to kill her!

"Who, me?" He looked around mockingly when I made a sneer. Yeah, him! who else was here that was a fucker that I hated with all my might these days!?

"Yes! What happened with you, James!? You used to be my best friend, and then you just snapped. I trusted you with my fucking life, Kira, everything!" I was still angry over what had happened with Kira, no scratch that. I was furious beyond belief at his stupid face. He didn't even look like James anymore. Was that even his real name!?

"Nothing happened, Andrea. I just got sick of waiting. This was always how this was supposed to end..." he shrugged when I didn't believe for a second that this was his grand plan to kill me. No! he loved me! In his own twisted way, he did!

"Oh yeah? Is that why you broke up with Angela for me? told me that you would be Kira's father, still wants to be that?!" I was spitting the words, naked except for panties and bra, they didn't match, and I was lucky that I did even wear any of them when I didn't care after Kira had been taken.

"I broke off with her because she was a jealous bitch and too fucking nosy! She was lucky I didn't just kill her. It wouldn't have even been that hard, Andrea..... You have no idea... no fucking idea how easy it is for me to get close to a woman, get her trust, and kill her...." He made a smirk in the end when I lost my anger, knowing he was talking about me. How easy it had been for him to get to me and make me trust him, and he wasn't even nice about it either!

"I guess so...... I fucking guess so, James. You are the fucking best! Is that what you wanted to hear, am I supposed to beg?!" he chuckled, hearing me say the first time I thought he would fire me, back when he was just my boss, and look at him now. He ruined my life. He was fucking obsessed with me, had been all this time, and I couldn't see it because I was so wrapped up in Jonah, my fucking crazy life surrounding him!

"Yeah, that is just what I want you to do for me, Andy, fucking beg that I am going to spare you... I know you are good at that, begging, I mean..." he was closer.

I took a step back, his whole presence making me sick. I wanted nothing to do with him and his crazy mind. No matter what I had said when he gave me back Kira, I wasn't going to just let him do whatever he wanted to me, no! I had been through enough shit to last a lifetime!

"I'm not begging," I said, hissing when he stopped and stared at me like that was not the answer he had expected, making me even more frustrated. I just wanted the old James back, the one I could talk to about anything!

"You sure....?" He had opened the back of the car that I hadn't seen when I stared down into it, no! No, he was fucking kidding me, wasn't he?! a fucking trunk, and I was supposed to get inside, no! I wasn't going inside that thing! He would have to kill me right here on the side of the road like a human, not some animal trapped in a cage!

"Yeah, I am sure." I stepped back when he raised the gun, making me smirk. He was the second person I had loved and trusted pointing that shit at me today. What a fucking life I lived.

James sighed like he was expecting me to say that; when I scoffed. I knew that he would have no problem killing me, not like Jonah... at least he had tried one time to take my baby and make sure I never saw her again. I owed him nothing.

"You know, this was not how I wanted this to end..." he looked conflicted when I didn't speak back at him. What was I supposed to say that I didn't want my life to end like this either? I didn't have a chance against him, and he would have me dead on the ground before I reached him. I was just living on borrowed time, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let James dictate my last breaths on earth!

"Andrea.... Fuck... you are so cold sometimes; you know that, right?! I was telling you; I loved you, and you just shut me down every time! You had nothing, and still, I wasn't good enough! You know how many women would have loved to have what I gave you!?" He was getting upset again when I blinked. He wanted closure from me, that selfish fucker! I was not giving that to him! I didn't want to die here standing naked in the scorching heat, and still, he was acting like he was the one that was suffering, motherfucker! "Say something!?" he was screaming, making me close my eyes hard. What the f**k was he waiting for, a f*****g invitation to kill me!? My heartbeat was so fast when I took hard, deep breaths, waiting for him to make up his mind, that bastard, and kill me. I didn't want to know why he loved me or why he wanted to kill me, kill anyone! He was just fucking crazy!

"Fucking say something, you ungrateful bitch. That's the least you can do after everything I did for you!?" James was getting closer, his face scowling like me not talking was driving him crazier than it already was, making me smirk. Look at him, so fucking desperate for love that I was not going to give him.

"I never loved you," I said, cold and snickering when he looked at me, hurt from all the fucking things he could do now. Was he hurt!? He kidnapped my daughter and taped a bomb over her chest!

"No.... no, don't say that...." he was mumbling it, looking to the side, suddenly lost in his thoughts, if only for a split second. What the hell was wrong with him!?

"Yes, James, if that's even your real name... I never loved you, not like I love Jonah or Buck, I would do anything for them, and they fucked me so many times I lost count, and I will never give that to you." He looked up, fire in his eyes like I said what he needed to hear, but I wasn't sorry; he was not killing me with some f*****g illusion that I, Andrea Wilson, ever saw him more than a friend, a brother, and nothing more!

"Do you give a shit to know my name?!" he made a slight mocking chuckle when I didn't move, my heart beating so hard in my head. Did I care about his real name?

"No." I was tired when his smirk disappeared completely. Whatever he thought I felt about him, it was gone.

He took another step, tightening the grip around the gun in his hand and every vein in his neck showing. He was pissed off now!

"Okay, well... let me fucking tell you then... my name is Eric Pelts, and you are going to be sorry you ever met me. Now get into the fucking trunk, or I'll make you bleed. I'm not going to kill you, just make sure that you are suffering!" his voice was deep and calm, rising for every word until he was screaming in the end, and I hated that I got scared because he meant it.

I could see it in his eyes and face. James was not f*****g around anymore.

"Okay!" I was screaming it back when my hands were up, I didn't want to die, and he was just waiting to get his hands on me. I should have pretended to love him and get the jumps on him, but I couldn't, my pride and all that!

"You are always so fucking difficult, Andrea, always make me fight. I love that about you.... you are going to last a long time...." He smirked when I stepped inside the dark trunk, the insane feeling of seeing James's crazy eyes on me, following my naked body. He was going to kill me, wasn't he?

"What the fuck?!" James's eyes were shifting to the road when a big truck came driving, making my heart race, Buck! He was here! That was his truck; I knew it, and so did James. I don't know how he found us, but I have never been happier to see him my whole life! I didn't waste time when I threw myself over James, who had lost his focus on me, and felt his heavy body hit the ground underneath mine. He wasn't really aware of what had happened when I grasped his gun. His head was bleeding from hitting the parked van to the side of the car he was taking me away in, to where he ever wanted to take and r**e me, kill me, and shit like that!

"Andrea?" He stared straight at the gun when I pulled the safety off, making him look even more stupid. He didn't know that I could do that these days did he?!

"Yes, Eric!?" I said sarcastically when he was holding himself up on his elbows, just staring at the gun like the fucking pussy he was. He sure wasn't so fucking tuff anymore, being on the receiving end, was he!?

"Please, listen... we can talk this out... okay? It's still me....." I don't know how the hell he did it, but right now, he looked like James, making me start to shake. No! No, he wasn't James Andrea! He wasn't the guy who had helped you and saved you so many times. No, he was a f*****g killer, same as everyone else around me, it seemed!

"Andy... please..." he was getting up when I started shaking my head, my hands trembling while still holding the gun at him. No! He couldn't do this to me, and he couldn't just say that and look like he still was James, whom I loved like a brother. It was not f*****g fair! "Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Eric! I don't care, you got that!? I don't fucking care what we shared! you kidnapped Kira, fucking strapped her with explosives!?" I was feeling the rage take over me again. Yeah, that was right. He had tried to hurt Kira, and nothing would make me forgive him for that!

"It wasn't explosives! Jesus Christ, I would never hurt Kira, never! I love her just as much as I love you, and you know that, Andrea!" he was sitting now when I started to cry. All this time, I had been longing to kill James for what he had done, but I could see now that he did love me and Kira, a part of him at least, and it was making me not want to f*****g do this!

"Yeah, sure! What the fuck were you taking her in the first place? You are f*****g insane, do you know that?!" I was moving the gun at him, showing exactly how pissed off I was, when he stared at me now, not the gun, and sighed like he knew I was right. He was that insane.

"I just wanted you back.... Andrea.... I have loved you... for so long... long before you even gave me a chance, long before that kid you met up with, don't you get it? I wanted you, me, and Kira to be together. I always wanted that...." he looked down when I was shaking really bad, my arms hurting from holding the heavier gun. Why was he telling me this?! I didn't want to hear it. I wanted him to be a f*****g monster and die!

"I would have killed him... Jonah... then I found out who he was and... fuck... I had to keep away. Don't you understand what I have been through all this time? I had to watch the only woman I ever loved, except my mother, get hurt when I was here, Andrea! Right fucking here all along!" he was up now when I had let the gun down, exhausted from what he had told me. I was so fucking confused! he was one person. Then he was another one that made me want to kill him; he wasn't that guy now. No. He was James, whom I trusted with my life.

"I can't be that... I can't be that woman.... Fuck... fuck you, James, I ...." His sad eyes made me stop, the gun was down, and he didn't even go for it for me when he was still bleeding. He really was just a f****d up human being, wasn't he?

"Go ahead, do it. Kill me." He said it broken when I took a sharp breath. What!? He told me to kill him!? He sure hadn't sounded like this when I was shaking my head. No! He was going to jail and got some fucking help for his head, and....... the sound of a gunshot going off me made me scream and duck down, thinking it was James that had a hidden gun and had decided to kill me even after looking like he had lost all hope!

I looked up, horrified at Buck, looking stern, grabbing me when James was on the ground, a big stain of blood circling his t-shirt when I still was screaming, unable to stop, feeling Buck hold me back. I was never going to get used to seeing a man die, and James was ******g dead!

"James!" I was pushing myself off Buck, not knowing I had done it when kneeling over his body, screaming over what had happened. Buck had killed James!

My hands were shaking him, his face was pale, and he looked so scary being dead. This was nothing like when Jonah had killed Chris. I hated him, but I loved James, who still had been my best friend!

"Andrea...." Buck's voice was in the back of my mind when I was still screaming. Why did he have to kill him?! He wasn't going to attack me. He was down, and he was going to get help in jail, or I don't know! Anything!

"Don't fucking touch me!" I snarled it back at Buck, that looked sad seeing me leaning over James's dead body, still crying my eyes out, f**k everything, f**k it!

"I said I would kill him, baby, and... yeah... I'm not sorry...." Buck's dark voice made me look up at him. My eyes were swollen, and I was still crying. I had no idea how he could sit there and look so fucking calm like he didn't just kill a man, he wasn't Jonah, he wasn't a fucking mob guy that had killed five people when he was twenty!

"Buck, how the fuck are you so calm!?" I was screaming, my voice cracking when he sighed and was squatted down, still not moving from where I had pushed him off, holding the same hunting rifle that had killed James. Oh my f*****g god, please don't tell me he was some kind of f*****g criminal too!?

"Yeah, well, two turns in Iraq does that to you, baby...." He made another sigh when I was blinking, f*****g what? F*****g Iraq!? I was staring at Buck with my shocked eyes, mouth slightly parted. What the f**k was he talking about?!

"When the fuck were you in Iraq, Buck!?" my hands were covered in blood when I got up from James's body, still not knowing what the fuck to do about what had happened, James was a monster, but he had been my ally, and... I didn't want him to die. How f****d up was that?!

"College." He smirked when he got up too, and I didn't know what to say about that. He was in college in Iraq?! I wasn't following him at all, but then again, I was a f*****g dropout, and... oh f**k! Buck was a fucking killer too!?

"I don't... I don't really know what you mean..." I didn't even know why I felt so stupid, I wasn't stupid, and neither was he when he walked over the last steps, taking me by my waist, pulling me close, and closing my eyes. Oh god.... I was so happy he was here.... James would have killed me... he would given the chance... I just... I still loved him. A part of me did.

"You don't need to know that... not right now...." I burrowed my face into his chest, taking deep breaths of his scent and trying not to freak out again when his arm was around me, keeping me from falling apart when I didn't want that. Everything was so f*****g confusing.

"Well.... I need to get his body to the lake, so..." Buck made a soft chuckle when I looked up at him, feeling my heartbeat picking up the pace. The lake. He told me he would kill James and send his body down a deep part of the lake. Oh shit! He had been serious, hadn't he!?

"I will help you, Buck..... Oh god... I don't know what the fuck is happening, but I will help..." I said it tired. It was the least I could do, the last respect for James because he had been my friend.

"Yeah, no.... I don't think so... it's okay, Andy, you take the truck back home, and I will do this. I killed him, so I will take care of him...." Buck made a sad smile when I felt even worse. He did kill him, didn't he? Only because I fucking couldn't! I couldn't kill James even if he had taken my daughter and put her in a dangerous situation. I was the worst mother ever.

"No. no... I want to... I want to be there for him...." I started to cry again. I had no idea how I could feel this hate and love toward James at the same time. He tried to kill me, made me lose a baby, and kidnapped Kira. Still, he wasn't all bad... he wasn't, and that was the part that was killing me. He did have a piece of him that he didn't show much, and I was one of the few lucky enough to see it. He was a loner. Same as me.

"Alright..." Buck didn't even fight me. He got what I wanted to do when I felt his shirt draped around my shoulders, making me look down at my bare feet when Buck was buttoning the shirt around my body. It felt nice being engulfed in his scent, calming me down. "Okay... let's do this, baby..." he kissed my forehead when I made a nod, still sniffling, holding my arms around me. It was time to get James to rest, forgotten by the rest of the world except for me. I will always remember him for who he was, James, and not the crazy guy who tried to hurt me. He deserved more than that.

"Yeah, Buck, let's do this...." I followed him back to the body and stared thoughtfully into his eyes when he picked James up, and I took his feet. This was so weird and still calming, and I was f****d up. Still, Buck was here with me when he was putting the body in the back of the truck, me pulling the tarp over it, trying to close James's eyes, still staring out into the sky, making me cry again. He really was dead, wasn't he?

"I'm sorry, James... I'm so fucking sorry...." I made another sniffle, finally putting the tarp over his face, holding my hand on his body for a couple of seconds before feeling Buck's hand on my back, making me do a sad smile. He was the best.

"Darling, let's make sure he is gone from our life." Buck's voice was comforting when I made a sob and nodded, yeah. That was probably for the best.