Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 172

She was looking at Buck, smiling, walking over and picking her up, making me sigh. He was doing this on purpose, ensuring I couldn't just start to yell in his face over what he had told me.

Buck had never said a word about that, and we had been together for almost two years at the end of this pregnancy, and now he wanted to tell me that she had problems. What kind of f****d up way was that to explain what she did to me?!

I watched Kira walk over, and Buck followed her, helping her buckle in. He was talking to her, laughing when she showed the phone and the stupid game she was playing, making my heart ache and my chest hurt more. Buck was the best guy and dad out there, so why didn't he tell me? I felt so f*****g betrayed seeing him kiss her head and close the car door softly, smiling before turning and dropping whatever happiness he had when he stared at me, coming back slowly, hands in his jeans and just looking guilty. Yeah, I wasn't feeling that great too.

"Alright, just tell me I'm an a*****e for wanting to help Sarah...." He looked grim for a couple of seconds, amused like I was, the anger mixing with the bitterness over him just jumping ship for his ex-wife that he f****d. He loved me, me!

"Okay, alright... let me get this right, Bucky.... She gets drunk, and then she gets a free pass. Did I get that right?!" Buck was sighing because I was smirking now from the anger. Really, I wasn't even sad anymore, just f*****g amused how he could stand there and tell me that she didn't mean to do it because she was drunk. I was going to do whatever I wanted in the future when I wasn't pregnant!

"No, no, of course not! She just... Andy, you are twisting my words here... how the hell can I make you get that I need to help her? She needs me!" Buck was crossing his arms, going from rubbing his neck just trying to find the right words; it was almost funny if he wasn't breaking my heart telling me straight to my face that he needed to take care of the same woman that had made me not even wanting to stay in this town, my safe haven. He had no f*****g idea how much that was hurting me since he had never had to run away from anything in his whole life!

I made a scoff, turning my wedding ring slowly and trying not to let the tears push up even if they were really trying to, making Buck look guilty or more than he already was. He really was stuck between us, wasn't he?

"I need you, Buck....." I didn't care if it was selfish of me to say. He knew that by making a sigh and holding his hands on his hips, he was so handsome and romantic and the best thing to ever happen to a girl like me, and that's why this was hurting too much, seeing him not being able to let her go, not really.

"I know you do, fuck.... Andy, I love you.... I just want to ensure that she is safe, alright and... well fuck I don't know, maybe get her into rehab again..." my heart was going cold, so he was staying here, with her, even if I left?

"You love me...." I made another scoff feeling the hurt spreading over my body. Why did every man I ever loved tell me they loved me when they stabbed me in the heart and made me feel even more like I was just the secondhand choice that would never be good enough?

"I do, I really do, and you know that... Andy, look at me..." Buck was getting closer when I shied away from his hands, trying to take my face. He did love me, did, but he had betrayed me, just like Jonah had, choosing to side with Sarah and I know that it probably wasn't fair, but I didn't care. He couldn't tell me to my face that he loved me and still stayed here and helped her. I just couldn't.

"I still want to leave." I couldn't take it, staying with her because of Sarah, she was just one of our problems. Buck was crazy if he thought I would forgive her for what she did to me!

"I know... I know... and we're going to leave, please... Andy... just give me some time. I need to get her into rehab or ... well, I don't know... "Buck was sighing, trying to fix everything when he couldn't. This was something that he had to choose between Sarah and me. "I'm saying, I don't want you to keep helping her, buck... please...." I don't even know why I was begging, staring at him sadly. I was so spoiled with him just coming when I called, he was my hero, and now he was letting me down when I needed him. It was hurting me so much, making Jonah's scars tear up again, being the second choice. again.... Oh f**k...

"I can't stop doing that, Andrea.... She needs me, just like you do. I don't know why you can't just take a step back and see that I'm not doing this just for her. What about Sophia? Am I supposed to leave her here with Sarah when she can barely take her a*s out of bed?" Buck wasn't yelling at me. He never did.

He stared right back with his deep gray eyes, which made me nod slowly. Yeah sure... I got it... I did, and still, it made me want to start crying, was this our marriage going to play out for the rest of our lives? One call from her and he would be there, was that it? "Please, don't look at me like that... I'm trying here, aren't I?" Buck was getting closer, making me turn my head away when his rough warm hands were on my shoulders, trying to convince me that this was the right call, even if it sure as hell didn't feel like that for

me.

"Won't you at least look at me?" Buck's hand moved, pushing my chin up gently when my tears finally spilled over. I had been so happy, and now it was all shit, all of it, and it was all her fault, all and that scumbag of a son that was nothing like Buck.

"I can't, I fucking can't..." my eyes were still turned away when my cheeks were wet from the steady streams of tears coming down, of all the things in the world that I thought would have come between us, Jonah, James... I never imagined it would be Sarah, fuck, I was stupid, wasn't I? believing that any man would ever choose me first.

"Why? I'm not going to hurt you or leave you... Andy baby, I love you, and you are having my kids; I can't walk away from that ever.... I just... I can't explain this. I can't leave her like she is right now, and... she needs to get what she did wrong...." Buck was talking, still stoking my hair, when I finally looked at him. His face was changed now. He looked like who he was with me and not the angry version of himself that I guess what brought out by this shit. I just wished he had told me...

"I'm still not forgiving her; you get that, don't you Buck? I can't stay here and just...." I didn't even know what to say when he made a small smile, finally looking like he got it that I was never going to show my face in this town again, and it was all her fault. "I don't want you to forgive her, she did wrong, and I'm not going to let her get away with that, but right now, she doesn't need that. She needs help." Buck made another smile that made me stare at him. I hated that he made sense. I really did. F**k him. "Just.... I'm going home, and then we will pack up, okay?" I was holding him as close as I could, feeling the strong arms around me when Buck made a genuine smile that was happy like he wanted that too... oh god, that this was such a mess...

"Yeah, you do that, baby, I'm just going to make sure that Sarah doesn't do something stupid like drink the whole town dry and get her into bed, and then I'm coming after you, alright darling, I'm never going to leave you, never...." Buck was holding me closer, making me sniffle into his chest, he better not fucking do that, and I still didn't know what I felt about him just dropping whatever to help her, but.... I guess some part of me wanted at least to try not to fight him at every second, no matter how small it was. I was so tired of that.

"Okay... just... hurry... okay?" I was standing outside the car, having Buck's arms around me. Kira was staring at the phone, making faces when Buck chuckled like he could see her too, even with his eyes on me. Oh, he was so handsome. No matter what happened, he always seemed to keep his cool. I wished that I could be like that, but let's face it, I wasn't that type of woman.

"yeah... I'm just going to talk to Sophia some more about what happened, she finally says words back to me, and I got to use that...." Buck made another grin to my faint smile. Yeah, I guess he did... at least something was coming out of this humiliation that was good... almost.... I sighed when Buck was kissing me, never wanting to let go when he opened the car door, helping me inside and adjusting the seat and mirrors since this was his truck. I had no idea how he was supposed to get back home, but knowing Buck, that wouldn't be a problem.

I was about to start the truck when Buck walked away, giving me his best smile before turning when Kira was still laughing in the back, making me feel less heavy. What happened was f****d up, and I hated every minute of Buck wanting to help Sarah, but at least Kira was happy. That was enough for now.

"What are you doing, baby?" I was smiling, trying to not sound so depressed, when she looked up smiling and turned to phone around, giving me a headache again seeing the laughing guy that stared at me, showing that now that it was me, he wasn't going to laugh anymore.

"I'm talking to Da!" Kira sounded excited when I almost made a whimper hearing that. Did she just call him Da? Did she even know what that meant!? "Andrea, well, it's about fucking time....."