Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 174

I was floating.

My eyes opened up when I was home. back at my house, and I was floating. That was the thing I was thinking; this was not happening.

Buck was sitting on the edge of our bed. He had a bottle in his hand and a gun in the other, making me frown. Was he crazy!? What if Kira was around? She could get hurt. He knew better than that!? I was going to scold him when I couldn't move my lips for my life, no matter how hard I was trying, Buck didn't hear me or look up from where I was sitting in what seemed to be the roof, he was staring at the gun making my own panic start to take over, what the f**k was he doing with that gun anyway?! It looked like he was going to do something really stupid!

"Buck!" I was screaming it inside my head when he looked up, and for a split second, I thought he saw me, but he didn't. He just made a slight frown and drank from that bottle of whiskey again, long and hard, making me whine seeing him like this, he was in bad shape, and I had no idea why we were going to leave and live out life somewhere else, far away from all the f*****g drama that had been going on around us.

"What the f**k are you doing, you idiot!?" I was trying to get closer to him, but I couldn't. Something kept pulling me back, no matter how hard I leaned down, scratching at the wall to get to him. He was not doing what I thought he was! "Buck, you fucking bastard! I'm never going to forgive you if you do that!" I hated that he had raised the gun. He was really going to kill himself, was that it!? What about Kira and me!? Our boys, his kids, and that stupid bitch that was always around to make sure he didn't forget that they had been married for so long!

"Buck, please, I love you!?" I had my hand outstretched, trying to reach the gun. Still, it was just my fingertips gracing the surface when I started to panic more, he was going to die, and I was going to be all alone in the world with three kids. What the f**k had happened to him!?

He had closed his eyes, like he was trying to find some fucking peace to blow off his own head in our bedroom, when his phone started ringing, making him lower the gun and me thanking God that it had stopped him. He was f*****g crazy! "Hello." He sounded so different, making my heart break, his posture slouching, and his eyes were dead, he looked like he was tired of life, and it was scaring the crap out of me. I loved him! He was my husband and had a gun ready to pull the trigger! "She is!? oh shit.... Thank you..." He threw the phone down, along with the gun, and started to cry, making me cry too. I had never seen him cry, not as he did right now, not even hiding how much he was hurt and confused. There was no cap to cover his face; it was just raw hurt showing.

I wanted to come closer, but I was staring at him, Buck was really hurting right now, and I couldn't help him. He had been broken all this time, and I had just been thinking about my pain. I was a horrible wife, wasn't I? no better than that bitch Sarah.

Something was pulling me back, like a rubber band snapping. I closed my eyes, only to open them a second later, seeing a room full of doctors and nurses all talking or doing something around me. Wait, what just happened? I wanted to get up, but I couldn't. It was something about Buck, that he was at home and... the rest I couldn't remember when someone was flashing my eyes, making me frown. What the hell was happening here anyway!?

"Andrea?" someone was saying my name when I was blinking, my mouth was still dry, and I couldn't talk, not a word, at least when I made the slightest nod at the man asking my name. Yeah, that was me, Andrea Underwood.

"You lost a lot of blood, and we had you here for a long time. You had a hemorrhage. You are lucky to be alive." The man smiled when I didn't understand, making me frown at him. What the hell was he talking about anyway?! I didn't remember anything from my previous checkups that had that word!?

"My babies..." that's all I wanted to know when the man nodded like he understood and smiled, "Oh, thank God! He wouldn't smile if it was bad news, wouldn't he!? I was still unable to move when he came closer and took my hand, making me stare at him. What the hell was happening, and why the fuck was he taking my hand!?

"Your boys are doing great, such fighters and...." I gasped, and I didn't want to hear that, and I wanted him to tell me that they were doing fine, and that Buck was having them when he wasn't with me.

"They are in the neonatal ward, along with their father." He squeezed my hand, making me release my breath. Oh, thank God! Thank you! Buck was here, and he was not going to blow his head off that I had been dreaming. I was so fucking scared, and I had never been happier to be awake for the first time in my life!

"Thank you..." I whispered it back when he gave another nod, and I closed my eyes, thanking anyone who would listen that my sons were safe and Buck too...