Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 181

My foot was tapping on the old wooden floor. I needed this really bad when I looked up nervously at the woman coming towards me, smiling to my relief, oh please f*****g God tell me that she had good news for me!

"So, Mrs. Larsen, we have good news..." She smiled brightly when I just stared at her face, so I was hired then?

Oh please, god, tell me that I was f*****g hired and I didn't need to rely on Tom anymore, or my kids for that matter....

The shame was so intense. I was trying to make it suitable for them; Kira is the hardest. She wasn't used to living in town when she had a whole house and a daddy back in Buck's hometown. Here I was in a suburb of my own, not making it further, even if I had ensured that I wasn't using my real name. Tom had been helping me get some new IDs, and he disapproved of me being alone with three kids.

Still, he had promised me, on Mary's life, that he wouldn't snitch me out to anyone.

That was the only thing I needed, sitting here and trying to correct the same dress that fitted me well two months ago, now being loose. I hated it. I didn't choose to lose weight; I was not eating enough, I just didn't feel it, and it made me stop feeding my boys, whom I had named my own Noah and James. Yes, I was aware that I called my son James.

However, I wasn't going to change that; I still missed him, missed my best friend.

"Il seems it all checks out, and your word count per minute is good. so yes, we are expecting you to start this Monday if that's good?" the older woman that was retiring made me smile back at her, yes! Thank F*****g good for Tom. He was the best, he really was, and I had no idea how I ever would have made it this far without him. He really was a good friend

"Yes, that sounds fantastic, Mrs. Keel. Thank you so much, and I won't let you or this company down!" I was trying so hard not to jump up and down at the small desk I was seated at, feeling more like I had been on trial when she questioned me. The older woman tried to get me to break down, but that was not happening!

"Good, now... You sign here and..." She looked up when I was scribbling my name, almost signing Andrea Wilson like a stupid i***t when my name on the paper was Theresa Larsen, making a small frown when the older woman made a slight smile seeing my concentration over the stupid inkdot I had made when I started to write an A. so f*****g stupid.

"Ah... I see that you are nervous, don't be. I promise that as long as you work well, nobody will look down on you, working with small children, I mean..." She made a slight frown like that was an issue, for her maybe, not for me; that was on my second divorce and trying to shake the same people haunting me, both the fathers of my kids hunting me down for their own selfish reasons!

"Yes, sorry about that... I just really need this..." I hated that I said that like she couldn't see that I mean, my clothes were s** and my shoes too. This place looked way 100 sharp for how I was right now, unpolished and still talking with a southern accent that I didn't seem to be able to shake, no matter how much I didn't want to have it anymore.

"Yes, I understand... It's a busy job, and you have all this responsibility... what did you tell me that happened to your husband again?" she tried to sound casual when I knew she was checking to see if she could catch my lies when I made a sad smile, really selling my sob story when I sure as hell didn't want anyone connecting the parts about me being Andrea Wilson and not the name that was one her papers.

"Oh, he died.... yeah, he was a great man, drowned when he was out fishing..." I looked even sadder because I was thinking about James. I had been doing that for a long while, my conscious feeling worse every day; I knew he was an evil man. Still, he wasn't the worst guy I had ever met, no matter what he had done.... f**k I missed him so much, he would have had my back more than anyone, and he didn't have to.... f**k.... Now I wanted to cry when the woman looked sad too, making me feel the slightest better, seeing she was buying my lies. Good.

"So sorry to hear that... such a shame, leaving you and the children, they need a father no doubt..." She was mumbling the last part when I made a sneer. Yeah, so what if they did?! I didn't need another man to f**k my life up, not Jonah being able to let me go and not Buck, that had been lying all this time about why he had been stalking me to get a date, I knew I wasn't his f*****g type!

"So, I'm going to the registry, and when you come this Monday, just make sure to be ready. We are turning people at a great rate if you aren't up to speed; I'm afraid that your spot could go to one of our... younger talents..." I nodded, be ready and look out for the younger people coming to take my place; the story of my f*****g life, I had no problem with that. I needed to get a paycheck and not just eat once a day or less to ensure that Kira was fed and that I had baby formula for my boys. That was the only thing that mattered.

"Right." I was staring out over the big building. I could do this. I didn't even sell the house; Buck would find out where I was in a heartbeat, he would and I wasn't stupid. He did s**t before he met me, when he was in the military and Jonah was no better, that was the worst part; the problem wasn't when he would find me, but how long it would take him... I sighed, and the woman commented on my outfit, and I made another nod, yeah, I knew that I looked like s**t, nowhere near the standard they wanted me to have, and I had no money, great.

I was walking back home, going onto the train coming on, feeling the slightest better. I had a job, and that was a good start. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I could do this. I could, and I had to.

The sun was out when I made an annoyed face, took my shades on, left the train, and walked out to the small paved way that was full of people, the city was way too crowded for my taste these days when I made a curse, hearing the phone I had gotten from Thom, he was the only one that had that number, and I sure didn't want his best friend to get it. I had told him straight to his face that if he gave Jonah my info, I would never talk to him again, curse his name and say to every girl that he was shitty in bed! "Thomas..." I was slightly out of breath when the crying was heard on the other side. He was trying so hard to not lose patience, but it wasn't like having just Kira, and she was on edge all the time, not knowing why we had to leave and why. "Alright, pretty, this isn't going to work out. I can't be your babysitter. First, I know nothing of babies; second, I still have g**t to do for Jonah!" He was annoyed, and I sighed, walking faster. Yes, I know he did, and he was doing so great being my double agent, for better or worse. Did I feel bad for him? Yes. Did I have anyone else? No. He was the only one I trusted at the moment, which was hard too. He had lied to my face so many times for Jonah, and to be honest, I wasn't sure that he wasn't just keeping track of me like before!

"I'm going to get Ma and..." I started to protest at that, no! not Mary. I didn't want more involvement of the browns than I already had; they were loyal to the Sullivans, no matter what Tom did, and that was because he loved me like a sister... I wasn't going to drag more people into this mess than I already had

"Please, no, Tom, I can't let you do that! You know that the second your Ma hears about this, Fiona will find out, or worse, Jonah!" I was gasping for air when I had run the last part, in my crappy high heels and everything, not taking the elevator when he made a growl like he knew that too. Still, he was sick of being my unpaid help.

"Then who!? I can't keep doing this, Andrea! Jonah has tabs on me too, or do you think he is f*****g stupid?! He knows that I care for you and... Well s**t..." he stopped when I did too, trying to catch my breath when I was cursing over the stairs; I didn't miss this part either, not being able to ride an elevator like the coward I was back up to my floor.

"I know... I know... Okay... I just... I'm almost there... wait...

I started walking again when he sighed and hung up, making me feel worse. Oh, he had done it for me. I had been using him for about two months living here, thinking that I was so bright, Jonah wouldn't look for me so close, and neither was Buck. They both probably thought I had fled the country and did not twenty minutes from the city I had lived in all my life.

"Mommy!" I was still panting, and the door was springing open, Kira attacking me when Thom was giving me a stern look, holding my baby boy, trying to get him to calm down when I just bent down, hugging Kira hard and having her along when I reach out my arms, taking the boy away from Tom that was looking guilty, when I made a small smile, yeah mee too... I was guilty of using him, and he was guilty of yelling at me. I knew that in those big brown eyes, he still was a softie when shove came to push, at least for me. "Pretty, let's be serious here... I know you don't want Jonah in your life, but..." I was making an angry face, hushing the small boy that was still crying the slightest when I wasn't around, and I felt even worse, my twins weren't old, and they needed me; this was not what I had imagined when Buck had convinced me that we should have another kid, that selfish bastard!

"I don't, and you know that. Why are you even bringing that up!?" I was trying not to sneer at him. He didn't deserve it; he never did when I gave a happy smile to Kira. I was home; she hated it here, and so did 1. We all did.

"I can't do this; it's not going to work out.... I love you and You know that I'm trying my best, but let's face it, you are just hauling what is going to happen, he is going to find you, and I can't really stop that..." I nodded. Yeah, he was tired. This wasn't the life he wanted either, lying to his best friend and anyone else asking about me. I was a ghost, and that's how I wanted to keep it until I could get on my feet and take care of s**t on my own!

"I got it. You can't keep lying to your family..." I finally made the small boy calm down, giving him a small smile, my baby James, I didn't give a s**t if Thom had made a face when I named him that, so I was crazy, same as everyone else around me.

yeah he grunted when i looked up from the tiny baby. He was the cutest thing thad ever seen when I put him down the baby bouncer, looking at his brother, identical, almost.. that made me smile even more. I was lucky. That was the part that people didn't get. I wasn't alone as long as I had my kids and would do anything for them.

I might have made a call before you came home and... well... You will not like this, but you can trust her, no matter what you feel about all this..." he stopped when my heart got cold. Did he call his Ma anyway!? I got up again when he looked guilty. I wanted to kill him, coming up again when he didn't wait for me, just walked over to the door like he owned the place, and guess what, he did... that was embarrassing. I lived in one of the buildings that Jonah's family did own, or the Browns; that was clear.

I took a deep breath, cursing when Kira looked up from where she was drawing, making me even more nervous.

Mary was going to kill me, and she was. I knew that the second she entered this apartment, Jonah would be on my tail and demand that I give over my kids to him since he was never getting a *****g divorce, no matter what he had told me since I met him, that lying bastard!

"Tom, I'm going to f*****g kill you..." I was hissing it when he stood by the door, looking at me like he didn't care. I guess my death threats didn't work so well on a man with his trade, having people around that really could kill him and not me just barking at him when I was mad.

"It's this, or we blow your cover. You choose Andrea.." he made the slightest smile when the door opened. I was stunned by the blonde girl standing there, looking as if she was just as surprised to see me, taking shocked breaths standing in a short dress, and blushed, omg. Sophia.