Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 187

"Look, mommy!" Kira was hanging upside down at the playground when I made a wave, staring at my phone again, knowing that Sophia was beside her, feeling better. I did....... shit... I didn't even know why I got so mad, like if I just could take a deep f*****g breath sometimes instead of screaming.... No, no, I wasn't that f*****g composed, not when it came to her; the stress of having everything on me was killing me, but what choice did I have? I had no Buck to rely on anymore, and that a*****e told me he couldn't come until

Mitch was better, still in therapy after what happened.

"That's great, baby. You are so good at that!" I was sneaking up my eyes again, smiling when she beamed back, glad we weren't fighting anymore, and even happier that she wasn't screaming about Buck, that had sent me three messages asking me what the f**k was going on that I hadn't replied to, knowing it was pissing him off even more. Bastard.

"Hey.... what's dad saying then?" Sophia had walked over, Kira running around with some other kids when I put the phone away fast and pushed the stroller back and forth a few times, trying to look busy from her nosey way of wondering how Buck and I were doing; it was not good, that's how we were doing.

"Nothing... just that he is coming next week..." she made a face, not believing me, so what? I didn't need to tell her shit, and she wasn't here to make up between Buck and me. That was too late, and he was too late and should have told the f*****g truth to me long before I left him. "Alright.... He really wants to see Noah and Jamie, it's just that with all that's happened with mom and Mitch, well, you know..." she made another deep sigh like she didn't want to say it, that her stupid boyfriend had seriously injured her older brother, for me. "Yeah, sure......." I didn't want to have this conversation, not with her, or I would start screaming again, feeling more annoyed. She was a good kid, just stupid. In all honesty, I wanted her to go back home, even if she still was when the summer was over, and my life would be so much harder when she wasn't around.

"Andy, please.... I know you are angry at dad, but he is trying hard to make it right and...." I didn't listen anymore, following my eyes on Kira, having my hand still on the buggy with my sons, Buck's sons that he didn't want, that selfish bastard.

"Don't call me that...." She was still talking when my eyes switched back, and I didn't want to hear it anymore. The only people who had called me Andy were either dead, had let me down, or both.

"Okay... I'm sorry...." Sophia looked hurt when I felt bad, my hand squeezing harder around the handle. Her being here wasn't helping me, she reminded me of Buck, and I hated him so much right now that I couldn't breathe; there was a big chance I was going to kill him when he was finally getting his a*s here next week.

"I just think you are not being fair, that's all. You lied too and...." She was looking at the ground, hair down over her face, and she looked like when I saw her the first time, when she was this innocent girl that was too shy to speak, not wanting to show her true colors to anyone, not even her own parents.

"Life isn't fucking fair, and... since you are dating Tom, you better get used to being lied to Sophia..." my voice still cold when she looked up, having tears in her blue eyes, not believing me, of course she didn't! she thought that he was this stupid nice guy with great laughter and warmth in his eyes, she had no idea what he was capable off, not like me.

"Tom doesn't lie to me!? He even told me what happened with Mitch! Just because that arrogant bastard with whom you have Kira can't tell the damn truth doesn't mean that Tom is anything like that! He even let me meet his mom. We all had dinner last night!" Sophia was standing up now, upset over what I had said when I blinked a couple of times. Wait, what!? Had seen meet Jonah; she was fucking staying at the Browns when she wasn't at my place like she thought I didn't know about it, that stupid girl! "Please don't fucking tell me you saw Jonah last night and had f*****g dinner with him!?" I was up now; how could she be so stupid!? This was just one of his ways of trying to find me; maybe he already did. I couldn't fucking trust anyone anymore!

"I did, and it was great! His wife was there too, and she is much nicer than you are! I can see why he left you when you are just this bitter bitch that can't let go of people's mistakes!"

Sophia wasn't even trying to be nice anymore, so that's why she was so fucking late then!? What did she get drunk to? She looked tired, or maybe she was tired of trying to be nice when I couldn't be that back. I just wanted to get my life together and not have Buck or Jonah telling me what to do.

They didn't give a shit about the kids they had with me or me. Who was Sophia telling me that homeland bitch was nicer than me? I didn't care!

"You are soo going home next week! I'm telling Buck that you aren't even staying with me anymore as you promised him!" I was growling it when she did look scared for just a second before changing her cute face into something more of a statement that she didn't care about my innocence, that stupid girl!

"You can't tell me shit. You are not my mother!" She huffed at the end when I smirked back. Why was that her first line to slap my face every time she didn't like what I was saying? I knew I wasn't! still, she was acting like she wanted Buck and me back together. No matter what, she hadn't given up hope that I would move back when I never would; her dad and I were over!

"I can tell you that you are making a mistake and that Tom is no better than Jonah, worse since he isn't even that sorry when he does shit, he isn't Sophia, and you need to get that! he hurts people. For more reasons than payback!" I saw Kira coming along, her small body out of breath and thirsty, when she ran up to us, already knowing that we were fighting.

"Why are you fighting?" Kira was asking it when she had gulped down the juice box I handed her, not even thinking about it. Sophia was red all over her pretty face, clearly still wanting to tell me to fuck off and that I was so wrong about everything! "We aren't fighting baby.... Just.... Not agreeing. I made a sigh when Sophia stared at me, still hurt. She was so angry at me for leaving, for taking her brothers from Buck, and for calling her shit out with Tom that sure wasn't telling her the whole truth! "Princess.... I'm going to go now, and.... We will see each other soon, okay?" Kira made another face when she knew that something was up. She wasn't stupid when Sophia hugged her hard before giving her a smile that disappeared when she saw me, so yeah, she hated me. What else was new?

"You tell dad whatever you want.... I'm staying at the Browns from now on..." she was sad when I made a nod, yeah, sure, stay there. What the fuck was I going to do about that!? She said to me that I wasn't her mom, more than once, and.... Fuck... I was going to cry when she turned around and walked away, clearly wanting to cry too. This was not going as I had expected.... Shit...

"Mommy, is Soph leaving us too?" Kira held my hand when I didn't know how to answer her. I guess she was.... Fuck..... I didn't want her to go and stay with the Browns. They were friendly people, good, just like Tom. It wasn't them I was worried over; it was the Sullivans and all that came along with them.

"I don't know, baby, I don't know....." Kira wasn't happy hearing that, and I knew she would run after Sophia when I took her hand in a more secure grip. This was my life, and Kira's, that was unfair.

"let's go back home and call your daddy, and you can have anything you want for dinner, okay baby?" I stroked her head with the same dark hair as Jonah, still trying not to start crying myself, this was so hard, and with Sophia leaving, it was only going to get worse.