I'm Not Yours, Alpha
I’m Not Yours, Alpha – Chapter 79

Julian opened his eyes slowly. His eyelids felt heavy as did his whole body. He intuitively brought his hand to his belly worried that the puppies forming there had something happened to them. To his relief his belly was intact and didn’t hurt. That was good, but what had happened?

…

Now she remembered.

The push, the fall, the fear and…and…arms around him wrapped protectively around him. And there he was hesitating again when he was supposed to be backing away. Why was Madox’s shadow chasing him? Apparently it hadn’t been a good idea to have called him. He never expected anything from him, but the alpha seemed hell bent on being by his side.

So…

Why had he been with that omega?

Pursing her lips and trying to calm herself she began to straighten up on the bed finding her hand being grasped with intertwined fingers. A blonde hair rested on the side of the bed. Madox’s face looked tired with dark circles under his eyes as he appeared to be sleeping soundly.

Julian lay still and slowly sat up, leaning his back against the bed so as not to wake him. A*****e him, still thinking about him when he was still hurting him. He would definitely have to take some therapy to improve his self-esteem and self-esteem because he was becoming a masochist when it came to love.

-Is he awake?” the soft voice of a nurse broke into the room.

He turned his head and looked her up and down before nodding slightly. She smiled at him and approached.

-Does it hurt anywhere?

Julian shook his head.

-That’s good. His tests this morning went well so he was expected to wake up sometime today. Thanks to that your alpha was finally able to rest- Julian’s face twisted into a strange expression and the nurse hurried to explain- You see, you had a slight miscarriage attempt due to the stress built up in your body because of your delicate condition. You are carrying twins and it is not a very common occurrence in alpha and omega pregnancies. Also, since you are not marked yet you are not directly influenced by your partner’s pheromones causing a recharge in your body. But I can tell you that everything is fine now. Your body was influenced these last three days with your alpha’s pheromones and that regulated many patterns of your pregnancy.

Julian was dazed enough to understand all the language the woman was using, but he did grasp perfectly that she had had a near miscarriage and it was Madox’s pheromones that had regulated her body. As was the case before.

-I was here for three days,” she murmured quietly so as not to wake the alpha.

-Yes, and your mate did not leave your side or sleep during that time. Only when we told him he was in a stable condition did he let the doctor convince him to sleep or we would have two patients now- the nurse’s smile was kind, not like the typical smiles of superiority that all the women Madox used to have.

He lowered his gaze and although inwardly he felt happy for the attention she was giving him he still couldn’t get what happened the night before out of his mind.

-He… he’s not my partner.

-Excuse me?” The nurse didn’t seem to understand.

-He’s not my partner.” Julian looked up at the woman with a serious face.

-I am the father of her daughters and her future husband- Madox’s voice came out low as he slowly straightened up now awake and yawned. It alarmed both of them who tensed in surprise- Or am I wrong my little bird?

There was no response. Both alpha and omega stared at each other. The nurse, seeing the tense and charged atmosphere, decided that it was better to leave that place because it was not advisable to get into fights between alphas and their omegas. She only notified a doctor to be on standby in case the situation became tense.

Madox curled his fingers even tighter with Julian’s when Julian withdrew his hand and placed it in his lap.

-What are you doing here?” he asked with his head down. Her curls covered part of her face.

Madox sat on the edge of the bed and turned to him.

-I’m looking after you while your aunt is at work.

The omega pressed his lips together tightly.

-I’m all right now. You can go back. Go back to your house.

A few seconds of silence.

-What you heard.

-What you heard. You know, I’m not really a person who regrets what I do, I don’t have the luxury since many of my actions are based on the little strength I have. But I do regret telling you where I was- his voice was muffled- You just show up back into my life and…everything stays the same-

Madox blinked several times with a confused face.

-Puppy, what the hell are you saying? I haven’t been these last three months engrossed in my work simply because I wanted to, I haven’t looked for any clue that you were alive, nor have I given up hope of finding you, for nothing. I don’t understand why you are pushing me away like this,” she tried to grab his hand but Julian pushed her away.

The omega’s eyes were beginning to fill with tears that he did not want to shed.

-You know very well why I say that. You know very well why I’m in this bed. You say you want to be my partner but yet you continue to seek the satisfaction your alpha ego needs without thinking about the feelings of others- his voice was getting louder and louder- I’m tired Madox. Tired of always being the one left in the corner suffering for someone who will never look at you. I really must have been someone terrible in the past to not have a good experience with your caste in this life.

At those words Madox was shocked. Julian used to be quite reserved but now he blurted that out.

-Go on,” he said more calmly than he thought, “Keep telling me everything you think and how you feel. Let it out.

The omega trembled slightly and tears this time began to well up in his eyes. But if he wanted to know everything then let him be prepared.

-You’re such a jerk,” he let out with a slight sob, “Always getting my hopes up and then breaking my heart like it was just a thing. You’d take care of me with details and then you’d roll around with whoever I had on your contact list. You never looked at me as someone more like your sample for experiments, a freak who needed s*x and medicine in order to live- her sobs were already very audible- You bought me a lot of things but I was just a bird in a golden cage. You have any idea how I felt and I couldn’t escape anywhere. Do you have any idea…

He couldn’t follow his words as Madox wrapped him in her arms and pressed him against her chest. Julian stirred trying to get loose and even hit him with his fists on his back without much force but he was not released. The pheromones released by the alpha wrapped around him to soothe him like a warm blanket and that only made his sobs louder.

He hated that. He hated that Madox always knew when to act at every moment, even now comforting him when he was insulting him and letting out all the frustration built up over the years.

-I hate you Madox- he said crying against his shoulder- But more I hate me, for keeping this feeling in spite of everything. Disappear from my life so I can forget you and move on,” she said those words even though they carved deep inside.

The alpha’s arms instead of releasing him held her against him squeezing her even tighter making sure not to hurt her delicate tummy. His face was calm.

-I’m sorry Julian but that’s something I can’t fulfill for you. Sorry to be selfish again but I can’t let you go, not you or my daughters- she buried her head in the messy tangle of curls, she smelled so good- I never imagined it made you feel this way. You never showed me more interest from someone who was just helping you so I wasn’t sure if you loved me and I’m not good with hints when it comes to love. It was never my intention to make you feel like a prisoner, I simply wanted you to be happy, to smile-“.

The omega stopped crying in her arms.

-But it’s no use apologizing for things of the past. It doesn’t make sense anymore. Let me go Madox, I need it, we need it. Let me at least in life make the decision of where I want to go, how I want to live- his voice was pleading and that made the alpha tense up.

Julian was asking her to set him free, to disappear from his life…but he simply couldn’t do that. Not now that he had found him and knew he was the perfect person to wear his bite mark.

With pain in his chest he slowly pulled away. He pulled out his cell phone and searched for the contacts app and showed it to her.

-Since I found out about your accident I left all my meaningless and promiscuous life behind. I deleted all the contacts of all the women and I haven’t slept with anyone else. First it was because of depression but after finding a big void in my life I realized that this place that needs to be filled and only you can fill it- he cradled Julian’s cheek with his hand and wiped one of the tears with his thumb- Are you seriously sure you want me to disappear from your life, when before long we will have more than our mutual feelings.

Those words he had waited for so long that now they had taken effect and even more so after what had happened.

-My aunt saw you Madox,” he said with a serious tone, “She saw you with that omega, in the middle of the town and in front of many people and you are going to tell me that you have changed?